Unreleased Battleraps

I just need some beats.

Pitchforke Cobaggery Watch 2014 Top 30

It is sad to realize that my anticipation when listening to terrible tracks of how pained UC would be when he eventually would listen and be forced to describe is pain in hilarious words, and thinking about what he would say when reading terrible, terrible prose regaling in these same tracks, was really what made Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch enjoyable. Anyhow, I just breezed through the top 30 this year for THROWBACK THURSDAY.

30. A. G. Cook “Beautiful”
Pinko Punko says: Chipmunk Speak N’ Spell Stacey Q. Andrew Ryce almost begs for forgiveness having to polish this sort of turd. It’s an OK gimmick sort of for a dance track, but I sort of wonder why it is worthy of any comment at all.

29. Spoon “Do You”
Pinko Punko says: Spoon have been so good for so long, a new ultra polished and evolved perfectly constructed record from them doesn’t seem to demand the attention it deserves. The new one is better than the last one and I can’t wedge my schedule to listen to it much, but it is typically excellent. I like “New York Kiss” for a Spoon track with non-Spoon sounds.

28. Grouper “Holding”
Pinko Punko says: Super beautiful hushed vocals over spare, repetitive piano. It is a different universe from the usual list filler. I’m sort of surprised that this sort of song would be considered- where is the shiny gimmick so attractive to the internet?

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Pitchforke Cobaggery Watch 2012!!!!!! Incomplete Appetizer

As I consider whether it is possible to consider this year’s Pitchfork Top 100 Tracks list, I found this detritus in the draft pile. 2012!!!! Where did the time go? I can only remember two of these 30 songs.

100. Swearin’ “Just”
Pinko Punko says: Everything old is new, but in an OK way. Bettie Serveert+Velocity Girl maybe, with something else 90s that I can’t place when it goes to the guy verse. I feel the hopefulness of a new list in bloom. I feel young I feel free, let’s go down to the Newbury Comics and buy CDs!

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Can Has Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch?

I think the last time I even started it was 2012. Did I touch last years? I don’t know. I need UC for it to be fun. I have listened to almost no music this year, but I still have some good songs. Maybe this week POSTING WILL RESUME. I am happy that UC and I are on record in 2007 just completely crapping all over R. Kelly for being ultra disgusting.

My Heart is Broken

I know it will get patched up, but I feel so sad. The thing about Facesmash is that it is such a channel changer. There will be one post on your wall that is SO SAD and then another post on your wall that is YAY COOKIES. These are easily coincident emotions because Facesmash is just sort of a psychological test of rapid reactions. I think it is hard on these things to just watch the world go by when I just want to sleep for a few days and not go through the motions of HI HOW ARE YOU- FINE BUT THAT IS LIE- NOT GOOD MY DOG DIED. And maybe I will be back to normal in a few days but that sucks too because how can my heart heal that quickly?


Watching it again almost made me smile, but no one should smile at copyright violation. Smokey Dog was a wonderful little guy.

Doo Dah Parade, July 4th 2014

Your Doo Dah Parade Starter gets high with a little help from his friends (and Jameson).

This police car followed our Kasich protester the length of the parade route (in other words, was part of the act).

Best In Showing, imho.

P.S. Where have I seen the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile** and a bunch of cop cars before?

** cocktail weenie version

Cross-posted at Whiskey Fire and my place. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.

A decade of performance art

Or as Edroso would say, performance faaaaaaaaart.

In another 10 years, when Loadberg Doughpants is writing Op-Eds for the LA Times Channel, which by that time might be restricted to San Fernando Valley gas pump monitors, will he even be able to enunciate single syllable words? I can’t even handle what it is now, let alone knowing that he’ll still be going then.

Anyhow, I’ve decided that Blue Girl’s ringtone should probably be Gerry Rafferty “Baker Street” because if it were Phil, it would just be TOO emotional. I have yet to decide fish’s punishment. I think “What a Fool Believes” by Michael McDonald should be sufficient.

I Lost This Blog In a Poker Game

The stakes were pretty low, but I got it back.

I think about everyone all the time and also sharing my important opinions with the world on various hot topics, but I am laid low so I slink off and do nothing. Sad example:

I hear a song on the radio and I think “HA! That is K-unit’s RINGTONE!” meaning the ring tone on my phone for when Kathleen calls, which she doesn’t and it wouldn’t matter because it isn’t even on the damn thing. But I still know what the ring tone would be for all of you former members of our happy club.

Brando and ZRM can fight over Rush, but obvs the former would get a Maiden or Priest song and the latter, well it depends. Actually I will take proposals from either and then veto and then accept the proposal pretending that I was the proposer.

Anywho, just a little taste:




plover would probably be some Yes whitelabel unreleased that I would have to transcribe from space rays.

Mandos- I was thinking something avant garde.

If MattY ever called his ring would be some battle rap demolishing him completely, and then the voicemail message would be “hey, I couldn’t pick up because ARGLE BARGLE”

thunderpants- maybe John Denver BUT JUST AS A PLACE HOLDER

Festivus Animals and Motivational Poster

Err, Day AFTER Festivus Animals:

I’ve prepared this pic instructional poster due to popular confusion regarding the Red-bellied Woodpecker’s nomenclature. Sure, its red head is quite noticeable…but is it more so than that of the Red-headed Woodpecker? I’d call it the “Fancy Zebra Jacketed Woodpecker”, but the Golden-fronted Woodpecker has one, too. So here we are:

(Imagine this youtuber is embedded.)

Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions. Cross-posted here. And here.

Do Fish Wear T-shirts?

I linked to Matt Taibbi’s mock JP Morgan haiku contest at Jennifer’s, and she noted

Matt Taibbi: The entry by “Fish” I liked because of the clever Twitter-age five-syllable ending – this is like one of those actual Japanese haikus where a single sound symbol may count as two on:

Alas, feesh did not win one of the two t-shirts. But keep living the dream, feesh!

Cross-posted here. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.