as usual, regarding our sacred duties to the Exalted Commentariat. The reasons for this are manifold, mostly to do with multiple bouts of intoxication in at least three countries that we can remember. Luxembourg may have been involved, but that evening is particularly hazy in our memory. Let us begin:
1) Regarding the above, ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© addresses the perennial complaint on this blog. To wit:
If only there were some sort of entity that could address the concerns of this weblog’s readers…
An investigation into the hiring practices of in-house contractor 3Bulls! Ambassadorial Services, Incorporated is currently under way. We expect full exoneration.
(Readers will note that this is a sure-fire way to get the Ombuds to post. Be merciful)
We should also add that the above-linked thread is reaching Atriotic levels of insanity. We are currently pondering some kind of prize or award for the thousandth (or other arbitrary) comment, but fear that arguments over such a contest and its attending prizes would easily outnumber the existing entries.
2) UC is in particularly fine form in the latest Pitchfork Listomania installment. A representative sample:
Putting the song through my mass spectrometer, I can see that compositionally it is only barely different than The Microphones pt. 4.1341. I call shenanigans. David Bevan thinks this song is so clever for avoiding a hook. I say that if you are baking a chocolate dessert and forget cocoa, one deserves only admonishment and not some praise for making an alternate kind of dessert.
UC: spooning the carob of malice into your music-blogging rumballs since 2005.
3) plover, in the continuing landmark case Fish v. Shorebird, includes in opening arguments:
The sheepish look on a particular shorebird at, with this post, disturbing the tranquillity of those who thought this particular brouhaha had subsided a month ago caused one of our editors to suggest filing it under “fish vs ovine”, but said editor was, to easily imaginable effect, threatened with being locked in the room with the ombudscrew.
This is, obviously, blatant anti-ombuds bias. The most we would ever inflict is a generous measure of bourbon, and perhaps some brochettes. On behalf of our colleagues, particularly the ombudsovine, we demand an immediate retraction.
Any other business?
The sheepish look on a particular shorebird at, with this post, disturbing the tranquillity of those who thought this particular brouhaha had subsided a month ago caused one of our editors to suggest filing it under “fish vs ovine”, but said editor was, to easily imaginable effect, threatened with being locked in the room with the ombudscrew.
Perhaps this post will function as a kind of outreach to the zombie community.
Either that or when the cart heralded by “Bring out your dead!” arrives, it will simply be bundled on to it, protestations that it is, in point of fact, not well characterized as “dead” notwithstanding — though whether that is because those protestations are ignored, or are, as it turns out, never made, is probably not within my purview.
Prior installments: part 1, part 2, Part 3.
Continue reading ‘fish vs shorebird, sort of: Use and abuse of narrative, part 4′
Someone is playing out the string here, but we have got to soldier on. We worry about All Music Guide getting bluish in the naughty bits keeping its powder dry
Pitchfork listo here. Our previous 100-81 here. 80-61 here. 60-41 here.
We’ll make number 1 when this years comes out, so it will be a seamless transition.
Continue reading ‘Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch 2009 Numbers 40-21′
Precedes. I can’t tell if I am infinitely sad or mildly amused that a reputation exists that the merest whiff of my nom de blog instills annoyance in even one individual. Onward!
that insane Dubai over-the-top extravagance would reach its apotheosis if they somehow had finagled hosting the Winter Olympics concurrently with the Summer Olympics, also hosted by Dubai, on an Olympics Rings-shaped man-made archipelago. But went bankrupt seconds before the opening ceremony featuring the Olympic torch being lit by the reentry of a satellite made of diamonds plunging to Earth leaving NBC stuck with an Apolo Anton Ohno reality show filmed on the moon.
Yo, Zardoz!
No matter what the result of the curling, it seems probably to conclude that the CCA will have its sinister hand in the game. What say you?
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