A decade of performance art

Or as Edroso would say, performance faaaaaaaaart.

In another 10 years, when Loadberg Doughpants is writing Op-Eds for the LA Times Channel, which by that time might be restricted to San Fernando Valley gas pump monitors, will he even be able to enunciate single syllable words? I can’t even handle what it is now, let alone knowing that he’ll still be going then.

Anyhow, I’ve decided that Blue Girl’s ringtone should probably be Gerry Rafferty “Baker Street” because if it were Phil, it would just be TOO emotional. I have yet to decide fish’s punishment. I think “What a Fool Believes” by Michael McDonald should be sufficient.

I Lost This Blog In a Poker Game

The stakes were pretty low, but I got it back.

I think about everyone all the time and also sharing my important opinions with the world on various hot topics, but I am laid low so I slink off and do nothing. Sad example:

I hear a song on the radio and I think “HA! That is K-unit’s RINGTONE!” meaning the ring tone on my phone for when Kathleen calls, which she doesn’t and it wouldn’t matter because it isn’t even on the damn thing. But I still know what the ring tone would be for all of you former members of our happy club.

Brando and ZRM can fight over Rush, but obvs the former would get a Maiden or Priest song and the latter, well it depends. Actually I will take proposals from either and then veto and then accept the proposal pretending that I was the proposer.

Anywho, just a little taste:




plover would probably be some Yes whitelabel unreleased that I would have to transcribe from space rays.

Mandos- I was thinking something avant garde.

If MattY ever called his ring would be some battle rap demolishing him completely, and then the voicemail message would be “hey, I couldn’t pick up because ARGLE BARGLE”

thunderpants- maybe John Denver BUT JUST AS A PLACE HOLDER

Festivus Animals and Motivational Poster

Err, Day AFTER Festivus Animals:

I’ve prepared this pic instructional poster due to popular confusion regarding the Red-bellied Woodpecker’s nomenclature. Sure, its red head is quite noticeable…but is it more so than that of the Red-headed Woodpecker? I’d call it the “Fancy Zebra Jacketed Woodpecker”, but the Golden-fronted Woodpecker has one, too. So here we are:

(Imagine this youtuber is embedded.)

Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions. Cross-posted here. And here.

Do Fish Wear T-shirts?

I linked to Matt Taibbi’s mock JP Morgan haiku contest at Jennifer’s, and she noted

Matt Taibbi: The entry by “Fish” I liked because of the clever Twitter-age five-syllable ending – this is like one of those actual Japanese haikus where a single sound symbol may count as two on:

Alas, feesh did not win one of the two t-shirts. But keep living the dream, feesh!

Cross-posted here. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.



Lo, did the Lord Cookie Jesus, filled with wrathful filling, look upon the Cloverhill Big Texas Honey Bun, and lo did the Lord thinketh that the pride of Cloverhill, the hubris of its bigness, the chemical nature of its Honey, the plastic of its Bun, and the Lord did smiteth out and smack the Cloverhill down. Lighting was hurled, and fires did it starteth, and rain did it pour, and trees did it toss about with willy nilly abandon.

25 minutes of insanity around 3 am Sunday morning took the form of sideways 3 inch and hour rainfall and 65 mph winds and some hail thrown in and then woke up to the emerging buzz of dozens of chainsaws removing limbs and entire trees from the sides of houses, and then read in the paper it was mostly just our neighborhood. Shape of the neighborhood or our house or happenstance saved us from the worst, but 70 foot oak just lying on a house like it was taking a nap, having uprooted and tipped over just down the block, was quite a sight. Fences halfway into the street. Large gravel rolled 50 yards down the street. Very impressive, Cookie Jesus!

Cruz, by Florida-Georgia Line

I know it would be juvenile, but back in the day we would have had a caption contest with CSPAN screen shots of one Ted “Rage Salamander” Cruz.

Sorry I have not updated you constantly on Matthew Y. being a cobag- that is pretty much a daily situation.

I can’t believe we are so far flung that we cannot do choco skittles shooters and raise a little heckwagon.

Question: Guess who I thought about when this graduate student Johnny Science started chatting with me the other day and the only thing I could think was “this dude is high as a kite, hope he didn’t break any SCIENCE”?

Question: RE: weekly Cloverhill Big Texas radio report, whenever I hear an oldies song on the oldies station that plays songs that should NOT be considered OLDIES, whatsoever, and it is a song that I have never heard before I am slightly happy, because it is something old that is new. I usually ask _______ about it, who in turn asks _________, but Google solved it for me, and then when I looked it up, the song had been Number 1.

The song was this one: UPDATE RE: this song, fish probably knows the Klaus Nomi version.

Question: Where have all the nutpunches gone?


It is clearly the red line that must not be passed as no action is more heinous. Totally unacceptable.

What is?

Using chemical weapons.

You mean like white phosphorous?

No that is okay.


Napalm is okay.

Agent Orange?

SARIN, I MEAN SARIN!!! LIKE IN SYRIA!!! Totally inhumane, cruel, only the most monstrous of the monsters would ever use it.

Yeah, killing people is bad.

No, I mean killing them with sarin gas is totally horrible!

Bullets are pretty horrible.

Everyone uses bullets. Those are okay.

But they kill people too.

Doesn’t matter, that kind of killing is allowed.

Because they are less dead?

Well, no. But it is worse to kill with sarin.

Because they are more dead?

Right. Wait, no. They are not more dead with sarin. It’s just worse okay? Killing with chemicals is bad. BAD!

Unless you are Texas.



Sorry, Guys

I took a nap one day and I woke up and I got worried that somebody was maybe trying to have a “who can go the longest without posting” and then I didn’t want to lose just in case this was a game that was being played. Just in case.

Also this thing is like a gym membership, I pay for it but it doesn’t get used.

I think this is a better excuse than some people “OH I HAD 1 MILLION BABIES!!!!!!” or “I DELETED MY WEB LOG AGAIN WHOOOOOOOOPS” or “wev life wev”. What sort of nonsense is continuing to prevent us from communicating as jovial band of friendsies? I hope, fear and yet still imagine that plover is connected in an internecine web of mistaken identities and possibly stuffed in Edward Snowden’s duffel bag.


Seitz is revving up Song of the Day to enrich our lives with musical content. I encourage people to check it out. Hope to have more from our side as well. Minimally would be nice to give thumbs up or thumbs down on the various selections presented.

I don’t know how much value Matt Yglesias bashing will have to the proceedings, but I would do it for zero clicks, so my aims are pure.


Why do technocratic contrarian life trolls live under bridges?

Answer: They don’t, suckers. Enjoy the aggregate slight increase in probability you won’t be ground into horse meat replacement due to the floating of a hypothetical boat- I just thought about this for one second- luckily I don’t get paid by the second, but maybe I should? MONEYBOX OUT, ZITCHES

For your musical displeasure:

Repost of our previous. (Lyrics at the link-o)

Matthew Yglesias Battle Rap Demo

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Matthew Yglesias Battle Rap Single Remix (courtesy of Mendacious D, original post here)

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The only think we fear now that the internet is disgusted with Our Matt is a backlash backlash. More mascara for the original lashes, here’s hoping they go for miles.

Why do we saw the same old with regard to Our Matt? Why do repeat ourselves?

I can’t get into the greatest nutpunches the world has received from this marginally successful yet hugely unlikeable pratfall on actual ideas and discourse. But Mattsplaining is STAGMC. Behold this recent and glistening work product. It doesn’t even make sense.

Charles and David Koch are reporting considering buying the Tribune Company (owners of the L.A. Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Baltimore Sun, and others) prompting a great Garance Franke-Ruta piece on why big city newspapers’ editorial staffs invariably lean left.

That said, I don’t see this as reason for skepticism about the merits of the Koch venture. It’s actually why it makes sense. The “liberal media” is, as Franke-Ruta argues, largely a product of the free market. Certain niches—talk radio and cable television—are very friendly to a conservative editorial product but others are not. Which is exactly why what conservative media needs is a couple of extremely rich people to buy a newspaper company and lose a ton of money building a great conservative media product.

After all, the big problem with right-leaning media in America isn’t that it doesn’t exist. It’s that it’s terrible. There is a large audience out there that’s so frustrated with the vile MSM that it’s happy to lap up cheaply produced content from Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, and you can make lots of money serving that kind of thing up. By contrast, to build a great media company that’s top-to-bottom staffed with conservatives is going to be very expensive. The possible talent pool of great reporters is tilted toward liberals. The talent pool of great photographers and graphic designers is probably even more tilted toward liberals. Finding the great conservatives out there and hiring them is going to be relatively costly, and there’s no real economic point to doing so. Is your much worse cost structure going to get you a larger audience than Rush? No, it won’t. It’s a bad bet.
But the Kochs have plenty of money. If they want to see it happen, they can make it happen. And America would be better off for it.