To begin, we present a brief excerpt from the proceedings of the Annual General Meeting of the Itty Bitty Kitty Kattwood Committee:
The Chair recognizes the ungulate in the grey fedora.
Thank you, Madam Ottoman. I would like to take a point of personal privilege to address a minor issue of disagreement amongst the delegates that has been brewing for some time. As we all know, a recent fracas, or rumpus, erupted amongst the membership regarding the tolerance, or lack thereof, of blue M&Ms. While this is in direct violation of the articles of the Wonka Charter, we do not wish for the situation to get out of hand.
Therefore, we have taken it upon ourselves to broker a potential solution to this conflict. I give you: personalized M&Ms. You may now consume each other in effigy and in whatever colour you wish. Thank you for your time.
Moving on, we find that our declared enemy, the Canadian Curling Association, is defaming the sport with its usual talent. Witness the following photograph attached to a press release on the Canadian Junior Curling Championship being held in sunny Salmon Arm, British Columbia: Continue reading ‘A new era of bipartisanship’
Numbers 10:18-20
Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it. 19 You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, 20 but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils…
Some scholars dispute, however, whether this can truly be called Biblical justification for the pork snorkel.
Continue reading ‘Biblical origins of the pork snorkel’
Swoof puzzles a riddle for the stomachs, and assuredly, the colons of the mighty. Lest they be smited, educate yourselfs at Delicious or Disgusting about a powerful new force on the colon smiting scene. A veritable beef bolus. Thanks to the Swoofwagon for passing along comments in e-mail.
Published in 'baggery,
*BOOP*,
70's Sci-Fi Cheesecake,
Blog Nemeses,
Cobagitation,
Doughpants,
Flights of Fancy,
Musicano,
Pinko of Pork Records,
Pitchfork,
Pork Snorkel and
Three Bulls! Classic .
Volume one of Ultradork records presents the ultimate Three Bulls Mixtape Diss Tape. 0.95 ass.
Shoutouts include:
Kathleen, Marc Hogan, Ace of Spades, Chuckles, Pop Ren, Sadly, No!, K. Lo, Lucianne Goldberg, and a bunch of others. Oh yeah, this one is dedicated to the week one sales of Liberal Fascism.
Track One is for Jonah G!
Loud and proud, people!!!!!!!!
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It’s BoM Day!
Buh Ay Kuh Uhn Uh Teh Muh Un Th! (It is the Apple Dapple this month-eroni)
BLTs tomorrowpants, plus the selected recipe the next day. Delish and Disgust next week. Heart attack the week after.
Snipers are posted to bar the approach of the Snagwagon.
I wish this blog would post itself and I had a comment generating robot servant that would flit about the i-tubes so I could soak in my bacon bath.
I know it is very stereotypical and blasé to be all “pork pork pork pork pork.” I recognize and reject the appropriate stereotype. I’m really civilized and sophisticated underneath the bacon fetish.
Also, listen to Song of the Day, peeps, it really is great.
when I did what I said. Here is the conundrum: since I am now addicted to fancy pantsy BLTs, what is going to keep me from immediately making one on arrival of the next shipment of porkmail? One simply cannot plan a recipe around bacon of unknown taste, one must taste first. Yet the nanosecond the first piece is burning a hole in my tongue straight from the frying pan, I’m toasting the challah bread and getting the tomatoe ready. How can I stop myself? In general, and in relation to BLTs specifically. It is a conundrum. I feel this porkmail is extortion.
from a Bacon-of-the-Month club membership? Such a plentiful periodic porcine platter offends my sensibilities. Every fiber of my being rejects such a ridiculous, banal trope of…
HAHAHAH KIDDING- OPPOSITE DAY!!!
I CAN HAS PORK SNORKELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Lvtcus: oh hai! I is Lvtcus! u can has not pork snorkel!
Pinko: Eat it!
Various scallopz and oysters: r we has worry 2?
Pinko: Oh look, a recipe for bacon wrapped scallopz!
Various scallopz: Oh noes!
Various oysters: No whammies!
This month is an artisan maple cured/smoked bacon. Suggestions how I should consume it are welcome. Suggestions that I should shove it in my piehole are redundant.
The photoshops on the monster pig photos were so bad (like I kinda said)- no monster pig. Total choads sell t-shirts to chumps. Dealio here. Thanks, Gregor for making us look good (relative to our usual badness) but really bad (relative to some hypothetical goodness). I heard Hillary Clinton was behind the pig hoax. Maybe the WaPo can get John Solomon on it, or maybe Jeff Gerth. Or even The Editors.
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