Three Bulls!

Three B! certified non-partisan Wedding Planning and Entertainment Services Inc. are now inc.

We shall be denounced in certain quarters as collaborating with the enemy to pitch planning this fabulosity, but we counter such criticisms with the simple fact that one cannot collaborate with non-partisanship. One merely is. It is the world that conspires against our non-alignment.

If I might dip a toe into a serious sock for one nanosecond, I understand that it seems ever so easy to view those others amongst us who we might render hypothetically flightless akin to reality show characters in a broadly drawn, psychedelically colored cartoon. When their every action conforms simultaneously to what they consider performance art and what we consider performance art in the opposite way it makes it so much harder to consider such a person to be real. However, we shall do so. We shall not mock budding and unlooked for love/plot twists. Seriously, we’re just going to plan a wedding. The wedding we plan is essentially any wedding we would plan. We’d plan this wedding for anyone. This is the 3B one size fits all (what can be more non-partisan than that) wedding plan.

What we shall do is bid our services for newly flowering non-partisan Wedding Plannery market.

I ask you: are you with me?

Just throwing out some ideas here:

For the reception we’ll need several passed appetizers. I was thinking of appetizers with an amusing bloggery theme- we might consider those on both sides of the aisle, assuming we all shall be invited electronically.

Cheeze and Crackers:
Glenn’s Going Galtines with Protein Whiz-dom?

Vegetarian Options:
Sadly, No Meat!

I was also thinking mini-bacon explosions, although I realized that that is not an entirely made up thing. Golden Onion Wieners, natch.

Ann’s blogroll here might be good for suggestions.

For table favors we could have not cobags (gross) but chobags. Little bags of chocolates with initials of the couple. In non-partisan colors like red and redder, for love.

I was also thinking of a giant ice sculpture of El Snacktator.

The bridal headpiece will be extravagantly breathtaking. The finest emu feathers fanned into a stunning showstopper, colored just so to set off the light complexion of the bride to be.

I figure the first dance will be an 18 minute long Freedom Rock jam.

How else can the unique 3B experience be brought to bear on infinite and unending happiness?

I will be so pissed if this is all just a practical joke because I am looking forward to the gun cake. We can upscale it by calling it 2nd Amendment Cake.

Dinner music will be by Libertarian Nanobot Orchestra, if we can get them. Sadly, many of the vendors we are likely to have contacted will have gone Galt, which increases out inability to maintain strict non-partisan non-affiliation.

We dedicate this to Double-A, because we went loop-de-loop when we heard the news. We’d even say we were “happy” although we will not delve into incriminating specifics of our closely guarded dark hearts.

We certainly hope that the after party doesn’t turn out like this.