Comments on: Mysteries of the World…

By: Clueless at Three Bulls!

Clueless at Three Bulls! — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 02:43:24 +0000

[...] I could cut one up for myself… Off to the left, I can see, what is that? Oh, a white sink with lettuce in it. It seems to be leaking. The pipes could use a twist with a wrench. I wonder if there is one of [...]

By: Grin and bear it « doop HQ

Grin and bear it « doop HQ — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 11:21:58 +0000

[...] Oh no! There has been an invasion A flock of Emus, no room for evasion From living room to the place of sleep Spreading sink lettuce upto knee deep [...]

By: Chuckles

Chuckles — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 20:43:46 +0000

Oh great. Now iguanas are going to get the emu treatment and for three to six weeks everyone will be calling a bunch of assheads emus.

Well, not I and certainly not other people on indeterminate origin or nature.

By: Adorable Girlfriend

Adorable Girlfriend — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 17:16:27 +0000

UC, you know who is following you about and it has a tail, but it’s not that kind of four legged creature.

By: The Uncanny Canadian

The Uncanny Canadian — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 16:33:01 +0000

I think it’s almost certain that a secret iguana is running Pinko Punko’s lab. A secret iguana might also best explain why I have the sensation of always being followed and spied upon. Curse you secret iguanas!!212111@!!!!2

By: Swoof

Swoof — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 15:37:24 +0000

Have you considered that maybe vegetable man sneaks into your work bathroom everyday to shave. I mean, he's vegetable man.

By: Chuckles

Chuckles — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 13:55:13 +0000

An Agent of R.A.T.A.T.O.U.I.L.L.E.* must have infected my post!

*Rarely Awesome Totalitaran Agents Toiling Of Universal Incredibly Lame Loser Emus

By: J—

J— — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 12:52:10 +0000

Maybe somebody wants to save water at home so they scrub their greens at work.

By: plover

plover — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 12:16:05 +0000

My association with bits of lettuce being flung about with abandon is the roommate I had who kept an iguana. Are there any secret iguanas being kept in / spying on / running your lab?

By: Richard 23

Richard 23 — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:47:29 +0000

Sink lettuce? Barf all you want, we’ll make more.

Want some? [smack]

NOTE: that’s a sound effect from a scene in Daddy-O. I was not offering you free smack.

Actually, if you, want, I’ll give, you a, smack.

Damn. Marie Jon’ typed this for me.

By: Pinko Punko

Pinko Punko — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 05:56:44 +0000

In all honesty, I think we know that is some OCD suffering munchwad that can’t stand their lunch tupper to be bespotted with lettuce for one second more than is necessary. Listen, salad guy, enough with the sink lettuce, it is grossing me out.

By: Adorable Girlfriend

Adorable Girlfriend — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 04:30:59 +0000

Excuse me UC, but that was a ‘washroom’. You spent more than enough time at immigration the other day to know that you are not welcome to speak American.

Oh, and D-unit bought Rainer cherries from the farmer’s market at Copley on Tuesday. So, you can get them in Boston.

By: The Uncanny Canadian

The Uncanny Canadian — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 03:48:00 +0000

While in Granville island in Vancouver with AG, we went to the public markets and bought these unbelievably fresh and delish Rainier cherries. Since I needed to eat them in the first 0.05 milliseconds of purchase, and since they were covered with twigs, leaves, and other remnants of their freshedness, I went to the bathroom and rinsed the cherries in the sink. I looked with great guilt at the drain to see all the botanical wastes I had left behind. These things happen.

In other words, the most likely explanation is that immediately adjacent to your workplace, there must be a public market where every day somebody buys lettuce, and needing to consume it anon washes it in the bathroom sink. QED.

By: teh l4m3

teh l4m3 — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 02:16:36 +0000

Or maybe someone just likes to eat taco bell while in the sh*tter…

By: Brando

Brando — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 22:02:18 +0000

Isn’t that how Day of the Triffids began? One leaf, next thing you know, you’re bowing down before a big salad.

By: Adorable Girlfriend

Adorable Girlfriend — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 21:59:45 +0000

You should just hire AG’s CMO. The last time someone used the sink as a disposal she got her admin to write and post quite the sign. Whoever was guilty hasn’t done it since. How’s that for service with a smile?! For a mere $15, AG can put you in contact with her.

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 20:27:32 +0000

I think that’s not quite right, Pinkster:

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Lettuce?

Lettuce who?

LETTUCE BREED AND WE WILL CONSUME YOUR WORLD. WAIT, DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

Oh yes, sodden sink lettuce, yes you did and we will not let you get away with your dastardly plot.

By: Pinko Punko

Pinko Punko — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 19:47:19 +0000

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Lettuce?

Lettuce who?

Sink lettuce.

F***ING GROSS!

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 19:23:42 +0000

By all that is holy, KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS.

By: Yosef

Yosef — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 18:50:43 +0000

You’ve got an unaccounted-for ‘T’ in there.

Some genius.

By: Chuckles

Chuckles — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 17:17:22 +0000

In the next episode of 3Bulls!:

Pinko Punko fights against the evil Emu Conspiracy and the agents of R.A.T.A.T.O.U.I.L.L.E.*

See! Pinko Punko fight with wit and style!

Hear! The battles in Mighty Porkotronic Stereo Sound!

Smell It! Courtesy of J. Water’s Smellovision!

Eat It! With chunder and bran!

*Rarely Awesome Totalitaran Agents OF Universal Incredibly Lame Loser Emus

By: almostinfamous

almostinfamous — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 16:55:23 +0000

do emus eat lettuce? if so i think you have a stalker

By: Pinko Punko

Pinko Punko — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 16:45:44 +0000

No, I’m serious. Every day. Lettuce. In the sink. Somewhat wet. Not fitting down the drain. I’m getting sick just thinking about it.

By: fulsome

fulsome — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 16:39:37 +0000

All I can think of are bad knock knock jokes.

By: fish

fish — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 16:07:26 +0000

I sense lettuce stem cells coming on…

Lettuce made from pork. BRILLIANT!

Pettuce. Lettork.

Still, getting it into the sink is a mystery. Was the sink a bioreactor in a past life?

By: Mendacious D

Mendacious D — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 15:25:31 +0000

I went to a barbershop once and there was a turtle in the sink. It belonged to someone who worked there, and apparently it was bring-your-slimy-amphibious-pet-to-work day.

It was a small one, thankfully. It kept trying to get out but slipped each time, and made quite a racket. It bit me.

As for the lettuce, it may in fact be the MORTAL REMAINS of said turtle. You may make whatever conclusions necessary.

By: Seitz

Seitz — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 15:07:20 +0000

Oh, that’s mine. Sorry. I’ll try to be more careful next time.

By: Brando

Brando — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 13:55:51 +0000

I suspect the involvement of the Council on Foreign Romaine.

By: Adorable Girlfriend

Adorable Girlfriend — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 12:55:30 +0000

I sense lettuce stem cells coming on…