not that I know of. I admit, I may be a little older than the rest of this crowd, and the Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle was even a little before my time. Barely.

No charges have been filed, but security officials did say the trio regularly exhibited bizarre behavior and used suspicious code names; “Squarepants” “Star” and “Tentacles.” The officials say more information will be released when the suspects reach Guantanamo, Cuba.

It appears that some bombs were to be disguised or hidden in common objects such as a shoe and a hat. Other plans to plant bombs in a cannon and a vintage automobile may be clues as to possible locations for attacks. Tragically, it appears that some of the bombs may be intended to be carried by animals, including a horse and a small terrier.

A cache of unfamiliar paper tickets, shaped and numbered like some kind of money was found with the plans and may indicate that terror networks are developing their own currency system.Payments to the bombers appear to be quite complex, though it is clear that some kind of payment is triggered by an operation reaching the “Go” stage.

Investigators also found small cards which may help them trace how the attacks were to be funded: there are references to bank “errors” and corporate board elections. The cards which caused the most concern, however, are the ones labelled “Get out of jail free”, as these may be indications that our criminal justice system has been infiltrated or compromised in some way.

Police are currently looking for a recent beauty pageant runner-up for questioning.

The two suspects appeared nervous about aligning the cubes in a predetermined pattern, presumably in order to complete a circuit that would detonate an explosive device at an undetermined remote site.

The suspects were detained after a vigilant commuter overheard one of them refer to the elusive terrorist Rubiq al-Qub.

The device, which seemed to be an innocucuous coil of aluminum at first, descended the steps toward the President in an aggressive motion and making an alarming chring! Chring! noise. The President’s dog, Barney, barked at the device and wet the carpet in a display of protection, then ran out an unprotected door, being promptly shot as an interloper by the crack White House defensive team.

The Secret Service agents present were unable to prevent The Commander in Chief from recoiling and falling down several steps. Their incapacitation due to laughter was apparently part of the plot. No arrests have been made, although Coily, the Spring Sprite, is now on the No-Fly List.

The FBI announced that it had disrupted a major messaging system for al Qaeda, one designed to avoid any electronic surveillence. According to a senior FBI official, the system used a series of small wooden blocks, each containing a letter and small number. “When placed together, they form some kind of coded message. We haven’t cracked it yet, but we’re getting close.”

The shards are reported to instantly disable even the most modern HEPA vacuum, and are especially dangerous due to their ability to embed themselves deeply into carpeting.

Officials believe that the marbles are simple glass marbles, but upon detonation and fragmentation, these marbles will act as anti-personnel shrapnel. Thankfully, the device had yet to be loaded with explosives.

Additionally, analysts are currently examining a light, portable set of plastic molds, apparently designed to make various shapes out of plastic explosives when they are squeezed through. The device was labeled “playdoh barbershop” and sickly uses the heads of figurines for the shaping. The weaponized C4 “noodles” are said to be especially deadly.

Finally, in a bone-chilling turn of events, it appears that the IRA and al Qaeda have codeveloped a cardboard box shaped smuggling device for various possible explosives, shaped symbolically into colorful stars and crescent moons. The boxes are also packed with grain-derived shrapnel.

“Police refused to comment further than their original statement regarding the scented, plasticine figurines shaped into humanoid form other than their original speculation that the scent was a designed attribute to avoid detection by explosive-sniffing dogs, the same dogs who had agitated upon exposure to the 5-year old’s Dora the Explorer backup. Just who is this “Strawberry Shortcake” and what is the link with Zarqawi, who has been purported to describe the heaven for martyrs as “scented with exotic fruits.”

Several emuergency calls were placed to the police, and the device was set up us by the bomb squad.

Security camera footage from several DHS cameras document the man pointing the device at several historic structures within the metro area during the prior day, and emuwitness accounts indicate the man seemed to be intentionally ignoring seeing the device he had set down on the bench as he got up and ran for a train.

Operation: you’re the bomb squad