Ann Emu is so Dense

that you need to prepare to soon be in orbit if you ever get on a teeter-totter with her. Or see-saw for the West Coasters.

I know you can do better.

47 Responses to “Ann Emu is so Dense”


  1. 1 F. M. Althouse

    Stolen from Wiki:

    An Ann Althouse is defined to be a region of the blogoshphere where escape to the outside universe is impossible. The outer boundary of this region is called the event horizon. Nothing can move from inside the event horizon to the outside, even briefly, due to the extremely dense non-partisan field existing within the region. For the same reason, observers outside the event horizon cannot see any events which may be happening within the event horizon; thus any logic being radiated or events happening within the region are forever unable to be seen or detected from outside. Within the Ann Althouse is a singularity, an anomalous place where logic is compressed to the degree that the known laws of humans, physics and dogs no longer apply to it.

  2. 2 Adorable Girlfriend

    Asshat, you do know that she wrote her own Wiki. You know, because it’s all about her.

    She is the closest thing I’ve seen in my professional career to a narcissist. Then again, AG could hold her own with that one.

  3. 3 F. M. Althouse

    Ann Althouse is so dense that the dipping of one toe in the south pacific would cause sea levels to rise to the very height of the Himalayas.

  4. 4 F. M. Althouse

    Archimedes just IM’ed me and said that my last comment didn’t make any sense! Stupid old Archimides and his principles! It’s early here! Black hole! Black hole I say!!!12

    Ann Althouse is so dense that x-ray technicians have to crank up their machines to 11.

  5. 5 F. M. Althouse

    Ann Althouse is so dense that scientists are lobbying to have ρ (rho) changed to AA.

  6. 6 Clif

    Ann Althouse is so dense that black holes cross the street in order to avoid being sucked into her.

  7. 7 F. M. Althouse

    Ann Althouse is so dense that it’s always high tide when she visits the sea.

  8. 8 F. M. Althouse

    Ann Althouse is so dense that osmium and iridium seem like the fluffiest of angel food cakes by comparison.

  9. 9 Clif

    Ann Althouse is so dense that her specific gravity is higher than her age.

  10. 10 F. M. Althouse

    BUuuuuuuurrrrrn!!!111!

  11. 11 Clif

    Ann Althouse is so dense that she could drown in the Dead Sea

  12. 12 Fulsome

    Ann Althouse is so dense she is permanently ensconsed in the feather cushions of her couch.

  13. 13 Chuckles

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she is used in the creation of think tank buster warheads.

  14. 14 Chuckles

    Ann Althouse is so dense, her blog is at the bottom of every Google search.

  15. 15 Mendacious D

    Ann Althouse is so dense that the Chandrasekhar limit had to be redefined to account for her inevitable collapse.

  16. 16 Brando

    Ann Althouse is so dense that the solar system revolves around her.

  17. 17 Pinko Punko

    That si the first time I’ve ever thought that Brando didn’t bring enough hyperbole.

    Ann Althouse is so dense that she would not get the point of this exercise.

  18. 18 fish

    Ann Althouse is so dense that it is impossible for the logic in her head to reach escape velosity.

  19. 19 Pinko Punko

    Or viscocity. Like discocity, with less music.

  20. 20 Seitz

    I grew up on the West Coast, and I believe teeter-totter was always the preferred nomenclature. Though we knew what “see-saw” referred to, we always called it a teeter-totter.

  21. 21 Chuckles

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she teeters on the edge of the precipice of ultimate destiny.

  22. 22 Brando

    I had a hard time with this one for some reason. I will make a stab at rehabilitation:

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she requires her own theory of relativity, E=mu2.

  23. 23 Ann Grimmhouse

    Ann Althouse is so dense she second-guessed Doctor Know-It-All.

  24. 24 Kathleen

    E=mu2 is so awesome.

  25. 25 Kathleen

    Ann Althouse is so dense she makes the sachertorte weep with jealousy.

  26. 26 plover

    Ann Althouse is so dense that, if you listen carefully, you can hear the neutrinos bouncing off her.

  27. 27 mikey

    Hey Pinko. I’m a little slow and dense myself. But I was thinking today (sittiing in traffic on 101 – gawd I hate that road) that I really do owe you an apology. You put up the link to twisty in good faith. In my own defense, I don’t think I trolled it up. I’m a “liberal dude”. I felt that to say I’m just like all those other assholes wasn’t fair, and I just wanted to make the point that perhaps one should consider the possibility that a “liberal dude” might not be a misongynist bigoted asshole. And it’s hard not to notice the wingnut – like tendency to quash all dissent operating over there. But I’m sorry now that I didn’t just walk away. Hope I didn’t fuck up your shit (yep – that’s a zevon reference)…

    mikey

  28. 28 Snag

    Ann Althouse is so dense that she’s been rezoned for multifamily housing.

  29. 29 tigrismus

    Ann Althouse is so dense she’s mostly Bondo…

  30. 30 billy pilgrim

    Ann Althouse is so dense that she doesn’t like warren zevon.

    Maybe I don’t understand this game.

  31. 31 billy pilgrim

    Ann Althouse is so dense she will one day be used to construct the Doomsday Machine.

  32. 32 billy pilgrim

    Ann Althouse is so dense she should enlist so soldiers in Iraq can use her as hummer plating

  33. 33 Brando

    Ann Althouse is so dense she can be mailed in regular envelopes during a cookie contest without fear of breaking into cookie dust.

  34. 34 Chuckles

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she doesn’t understand why this contest would be funny or why she should use primary sources.

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she makes others dense. Evidence = these two jokes.

  35. 35 Mendacious D

    Um, could we please have a moratorium on using “Ann Althouse” and “hummer” in the same sentence?

    And despite this, Ann Althouse is still denser than my suddenly retreating man-parts.

  36. 36 fish

    Ann Emu is so dense, it is impossible to generate enough structural support to keep her arguments from collapsing.

  37. 37 Adorable Girlfriend

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she doesn’t understand why this contest would be funny or why she should use primary sources.

    No, but she’d like that it was about her. Oh yeah, and say she is feminist. You know, because if that is true, than AG is no longer one because the word has lost all meaning.

  38. 38 billy pilgrim

    Ann Bauhaus is so dense, she says she is a feminist because she isn’t a male. She’s pretty sure about that.

  39. 39 billy pilgrim

    Um, could we please have a moratorium on using “Ann Althouse” and “hummer” in the same sentence?

    And despite this, Ann Althouse is still denser than my suddenly retreating man-parts.

    Ha.

    Ann is HUMMER PLATING in more ways than one!

    Oh jeez that’s juvenile. I’m so sorry.

  40. 40 Pinko Punko

    BP, did you miss the entire internets shenanigans over the last few weeks?

    MD, come on, I think Ann Emu is easy enough without going to the dark side. Why not rip the crap out of her curling technique?

  41. 41 Puph

    Ann Althouse’s curling technique is so weak that her stones invariably veer to the right.

  42. 42 Kathleen

    Ann Althouse is so dense she has her own weather system.

  43. 43 billy pilgrim

    No, PP, I’ve been saving it up for 3B! You will no longer be able to go over to Twisty’s and play Snugglebunnies!

    Puph- Ann Emu has stones. ewwww.

    Ann Emu has stones that are so dense she walks bowlegged.

    Oh, FSM, that wasn’t called for either.

  44. 44 belledame222

    Ann Althouse is so dense, she gets wrapped up and sent to distant relatives every Christmas, often recycled two or three times in the process. and nobody can stomach her any more than they would any other fruitcake.

  45. 45 Mandos

    I like fruitcake.

  46. 46 Pinko Punko

    Mandos, you like poutine, too.

  47. 47 Mandos

    Mmm, poutine. Who could say no to the melted fat on fatty fried carbs with a fat sauce?

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