UPDATED BELOW!
[O hai! Gregr Samza wonderd if going to has lolcat bibel tranzlation n this iz what happend. Kthxbye.]
Gh0d: Joob is da bomb!
5atan: Is not.
Gh0d: Is so.
5atan: Is not.
Gh0d: Uh huh. Jes watch.
*BOOP*
5atan: I’m in ur base killin ur d00dz.
Joob: Oh n0es!!! Mah kidz n camlz!! O mah achin shizzle!! Whaddup Gh0d??!?!?
M3snjer: O hai, ur bukkit was eated bi an erthqwake!
Joob: Not mah bukkit too!!1!!! Oh n0es!!!
Joob: O wel, Gh0d sez no can has cheezbrrger. But I missedes mah bukkit.
Bild00d: LOL sux 2 B yu.
Anyhoo: O rly? Gh0d can’t has suxxorz.
Gh0d: O hai, I can has wurlitzer. Hav yu seen mah othtritches n Booheemuth?
Joob: O yu needs mah bukkit 4 teh Booheemuth. I can sooo repentin.
*BOOP*
Joob: OMG!! I can has cheezbrrger n kidz n camlz agen!!!
Joob: N mah bukkit!!!1!!
Joob: W00T!!!!!!!!one!!!!!! ^^;
UPDATE I: From Brando, in comments, and it seems LOLCAT is getting more l33t, or maybe txty, and certainly more filthy!:
Day-vid: im on mai roof, watchin u scrub urself. U r hot.
Bath5eeba: creepy. i haz husband. he iz hittite.
Day-vid: wut iz hittite?
Bath5eeba: not shur. but he iz 1.
Day-vid: w/e. he haz 2 fite 2day.
Bath5eeba: oh noes!
Day-vid: sry.
Day-vid: J0ab, send Yooraiuh 2 teh front. put him in teh base, but let teh d00ds kill him.
J0ab: wtf?
Day-vid: r u teh king of Izrail?
J0ab: noes
Day-vid: then stfu and send Yooraiuh 2 teh front, bitch!
J0ab: ok, l8terz.
J0ab: Yooraiuh haz no more lifes. he iz ded.
Day-vid: kewl. its good 2 be teh king. get me Bath5eeba. we r going 2 do it.
Gh0d: Day-vid! u iz wikedz.
Day-vid: wikedz good?
Gh0d: wikedz bad! im in ur hous, killin ur kid.
Day-vid: oh noes! not mai kid! iz not hiz falt.
Gh0D: talk 2 teh hand of Gh0D, cuz teh hed iznt listens.
Day-vid: wut if i haz no cheezburger 4 week? will u spair my boi?
Gh0D: maybe. hahahaha j/k. ur boi iz ded. pwnned!!!1
Day-vid: im nashin mai teef. but u iz teh lord, so i can do nuffin. sux 2 be me.
Gh0d: ok, im dun wif u. u can haz sex wif B and haz nother boi. he will be real smartz.
Day-vid: ty. can i haz cheezburger and kingdom of ammon, 2?
Gh0D: sur. l8ter.
UPDATE AGAINS! U can has commandmints!
Y’all are going to hellx00rz.
But it’s worth it – that makes the short list of funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life.
I think you misspelled oshthhritch
Now do the Song of Solomon!
OMFG ur in my head killin my brainz
True story.
Man, someone should call Slate with this thing.
Genesis: D00d check out my m4d sk1llz!!
Exodus: i has a homeland. Nooo they be takin away my homeland!!!1!! PS i can has commandmints?
Revelations: ZOMG!! Jesus sez: kthxbye
Day-vid: im on mai roof, watchin u scrub urself. U r hot.
Bath5eeba: creepy. i haz husband. he iz hittite.
Day-vid: wut iz hittite?
Bath5eeba: not shur. but he iz 1.
Day-vid: w/e. he haz 2 fite 2day.
Bath5eeba: oh noes!
Day-vid: sry.
Day-vid: J0ab, send Yooraiuh 2 teh front. put him in teh base, but let teh d00ds kill him.
J0ab: wtf?
Day-vid: r u teh king of Izrail?
J0ab: noes
Day-vid: then stfu and send Yooraiuh 2 teh front, bitch!
J0ab: ok, l8terz.
J0ab: Yooraiuh haz no more lifes. he iz ded.
Day-vid: kewl. its good 2 be teh king. get me Bath5eeba. we r going 2 do it.
Gh0d: Day-vid! u iz wikedz.
Day-vid: wikedz good?
Gh0d: wikedz bad! im in ur hous, killin ur kid.
Day-vid: oh noes! not mai kid! iz not hiz falt.
Gh0D: talk 2 teh hand of Gh0D, cuz teh hed iznt listens.
Day-vid: wut if i haz no cheezburger 4 week? will u spair my boi?
Gh0D: maybe. hahahaha j/k. ur boi iz ded. pwnned!!!1
Day-vid: im nashin mai teef. but u iz teh lord, so i can do nuffin. sux 2 be me.
Gh0d: ok, im dun wif u. u can haz sex wif B and haz nother boi. he will be real smartz.
Day-vid: ty. can i haz cheezburger and kingdom of ammon, 2?
Gh0D: sur. l8ter.
I want to see this on stage.
J-SUS: I iz way, & tr00th, & bukkett. Nun d00dz wif dad exept thru me, kthx.
j00dus: Oh, hai. Dese R romanz. I can has sivler?
J-SUS: fodder 4give, dey know not wut dey iz doing.
Marry: Oh noes! Hiz body iz hiding!
J-SUS: Im in ur hevven, sitting at ur godz write hand!!11
Gh0d iz teh Ghod of all chickinz, N 2 all bucketz.
J-SUS: I IZ NOT LEAVING A BODY SO YOU WILL LEARN FROM MY EXAMPLE AND BE EXCELLENT AND NOT WORSHIP A MAN ABOVE HIS ACTIONS AND LIFE.
A little too close?
salm 23
hai
teh lord is mah shep hard
do not want
he make me slep in teh gras
he leaded me 2 cat bowl
he fill mah bukkit
he makez me riteness for his namez not min
Yeah tho i walkz through big dog kennlz
i no skared
for yous ther 2
thy stik and thy string they R fun
u say i can has cheezbrger but with dog
u flea dip mah hed, (do not want but thx)
mah bukkit iz full
fer sure good and nice follow me all the caturdays
and i can has cheezbrger and bukkit 4 evah
I’m laughing my ass (and oxen) off.
I can has Ten Commandments plz?
Gh0d: oh hai! ur cheezeburger no shall has cheez cooking in ur burger. do not want. kthxbye
Gh0d: oh hai! varyous scall0pz an oysterz. do not want. kthxbye.
Do not want ur nayborz oxez an assez.
Not urs.
and pigz is right out.
and pigz is right out.
O srsly? But I just eated sum.
Iz punishment in lolbible for dis?
Oh, dear.
KTHXBAI
Do not make cheezburger, you does not want 4 cheezburger. You have bukkit. Hai.
o hai!
all you can has is SUFFERING!
do not want.
give up ur bukkits n cheezbergers.
kthxbye
Speechless.
I iz he hoo iz c4ll3d I iz.
oh Hai! dis bush iz burnin!
blesd yall iz hungry…yall gitz cheesburger
blesd yall iz weekazz and pwned…yall gitz to pwn l8terz
blesd yall haz no bukkit….yall gitz new bukkitz
blesd yall don’t start shizzle…yall shizzle iz fizzle
blesd yall cryin’….itz aint so bad
blesd yall gotz bling…GhoDDz mack da bling!
blesd yall lolcats…loldogs dont go to hevvan
Proving once again the truth of the Trek Theory of Unification, LOLcats has hit the final frontier:
Im in UR TV, LOLing UR Star Trek!
fish,
o hai. salm 23 iz in my hed, makin me rofl.
kthxbye.
James 3:3
Hors canz turn w/ just mouths, shipz w/ trnng bit.
like mai/yor toung smlz, BUT SEZ PWNZ!!!1!
like in UR frest, brnd w/ just smlz fiar
toung iz fiar DO NOT WANT
Heh heh, I’m gonna have to look up James 3.3
fuck you guys cause you guys are so fucken gay naw i am just playing
Holy crap!!
I would like to point out that we were frist! Get NY Law Firm on the horn we’re suing those dirty rotten idea-stealing lol-cat-bible-translating good-for-nothing wikins for all they are worth!
I know- we got hosed. Also, it is a Wiki so we could just replace whole chunks, but they’ve somewhat standardized the language. Perhaps they have an Apocrypha section?