or WASPy or what have you, contest over at Chuckles in honor of what just fell into his “Tucker Inbox.”
Tucker Carlson is so orange, his face is like the inside of Baby Si Si’s diaper after 5 jars of strained carrots.
OR
Tucker Carlson is so WASPish, the bowtie is actually an evolutionarily derived trait consisting of a migrated unsquirted anal gland.
Tucker Carlson uses so much tanning creme, he is regularly mistaken for an illegal immigrant television host and threatened with deportation by Lou Dobbs.
Tuckbag is so orange, his skin is squeezed to obtain whatever orange goo was puking out of my car last Friday.
As a matter of fact, since all my car’s orange goo was spewed, I need some more. anyone know how I get Tucker to threaten me?
Tuck L’Orange is so orange that the Oompa Loompas are telling him to ease up on the bronzer, dude.
Tucker is so orange that HE scares the Ghost Melon.
Tucker is so orange, he doesn’t even rhyme with Fu*ker. No wait, he does.
Tucker is so WASPY, he can’t pronounce words with a B in them and must use a K.
Tucker is so WASPY he wears a bow tie.
Oops, sorry, I meant that for his Wikipedia entry.
Tucker is so orange he was picked by migrant farm workers.
Tucker is so WASPy he doesn’t understand 3Bullsies.
….wait.
Tucker is so WASPy he doesn’t like browns and blacks and people who are below his station.
no, that’s not right eiter.
Tucker is so WASPy he thinks orange is a good color for a person, but brown isn’t.
Tucker is so WASPy, he refuses to see Bee Movie.
Tucker is so orange people think he’s the Syracuse mascot.
Tucker is so WASPy, people always ask him if he was in The Decline of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years.
Tucker is so WASPy *and* so Orange that he took the field as the Frisbee for his Ultimate team.
Tucker Carlson is so WASPy he has Flight of the Bumblebee on repeat in his Ipod.
Tucker is so WASPy that he shops at a haberdashery. When he leaves, he exclaims, “I’ve just been haberdashed!”
Tucker Carlson is so orange, he’s used to calibrate spectrometers.
Tucker is so orange, Cheney uses him for target practice.
Tucker is so orange, people (well, Bush supporters) run out to buy duct tape when they see him coming.
Tucker is so orange, the Boers want him back.
Tucker is so orange, Julius is suing for trademark infringement.
oh plover, that last one is gold.
Tucker is so orange his second grade teacher held him back for being unable to make a rhyme.
Tucker is so WASPy he uses his wealth and influence to better the world, by bulling clerks
Tucker-Tucker-Bo-Bucker
Banana-Fana-Fo…..
With a name like Tucker’s, it has to be cobag.
Orange you glad you’re not Tucker?
Tucker is So Orange, Mark E. Smith is Kurious.
Tucker is so WASPy, he was born with a silver penis in his mouth. I’m not implying Tucker is gay, but video store clerks know what kind of porn he rents.
Tucker is so Orange, he goes shirtless to Dutch international football matches, and fits right in.
Tucker is so Waspy that his home is made from partially digested wood pulp.
UC isn’t even funny. As usual.
GREGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRAHHHAAAAA!
CALLING GREGOR SAMSA. GREGOR!
GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
Pup H.??
GFoH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Despite you being GS biggest cobag in the planet and AG being depressed — AG knows something!!
Pinko is flying to UC’s as AG types and will be too busy to blog. Throw up the old party post because AG is on a drinking and depressed bender. We can get super duper silly with it.
AG is willing to get liquored up on the Kahlua she bought for a few pesos in Mexico and for the first time ever — drink and comment!!!! Maybe Asian Symbol will do it too because he’s out with UC tonight so he’ll check the blog. COME ON. AG is very sad. GIVE A GIRL SOME HOPE IN THE SHADOW OF NOTHING!!!!
(BTW, AG hearts being depressed. Y’all better watch out because she’ll spread it around.)
Code ORANGE!!! Find Gregor!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Plover, HELP A SISTAH OUT.
ANYONE?!!! PROFESSOR BOOTY CANNOT HELP BECAUSE HE’LL BE WITH THOSE COBAGS THIS WEEKEND.
PIRATE — DROP THE NEW BABY AND PUT UP AN AG PARTY POST!!!!
Come on.
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNE!!!!
Solar power is increasingly cheaper. It may be a serious part of our solution to our energy woes.
Does that help?
T(f)ucker is so orange, Cheetos uses his skin for a reference tone.
RoD has been down for a while, I notice. Where is Res?
Gregor. Godammit.
I know Mandos. It started yesterday. Res is off doing gosh only knows what. Lucky duck. I hate him for that.
Now where the F is Gregor or any others? Random Randroid? Don’t be a toad. Help teh AG out.
AG, dont even get me started.. whatever happened to Yo06! or Yo08??????????
BRIGN BACK YOSEF!!
I’ve been inquiring about Yosef for a while now. I was a big Y06 fan.
Yo’s OK last time we checked. He’s got a lot of style. I think with 29 kids and Carolina in the toilet, he’s got a lot on his plate. I like to think he still checks in occasionally, or at least TP’s Nathan Tabor’s house in our honor.
did everyone get so drunk in the drunk and depressed thread that it exploded? I think I got chumped.
Wha’ Happened?
Kathleen — if you posted in the depression thread earlier, you did indeed get chumped, there’s no sign of your comment in the blog software.
Why would this individual who earns big television bucks settle for a cheap tube tan?
Tucker is so WASPy his pay raises consist largely of raspberry jam. There has never been an MSNBC company picnic he hasn’t ruined. He only buys orange face paint to cover the black stripes.
One Cookie to rule them all, One Cookie to find them, One Cookie to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
ペンキ絵が含まれ、それに分けられる水性塗料や溶剤华润涂料（油性） -タイプペイントします。とともに、石油化学産業の発展は、化学製品は、絶え間なく、最も近代的塗料の石油生産量の华润涂料チャタムから切り離されてきた伝統は、人が増えてコーティング製品を通じてより良いパフォーマンスの化学合成;使用する機会がますます大きくなるします。コール塗料より正確な意味を持つ。
[We get Japanese supamu! Here's the Google-jin (Guugaru-jin?) translation:
Links have been removed to protect the innocent and the guilty.
However orange Tucker is, it is not the same orange as flying fish roe.
--plover]
hello everybody. my Japanese is not good but it seems like a very nice web site. thanks
[O spam, why do you mock us? -- plover]