This is the official 3 Bulls! depression thread — because the universe sucks!!!
Remember: in 99.999+% of the universe you would be dead from vacuum exposure, and in 99+% of the rest you would be instantly roasted and turned into nuclear fusion fuel, and in 99+% of what’s left you would be sucking methane and ammonia, and in 99+% of what’s left of that you would be embedded in solid rock, and in 99+% of what’s left of that you would be being accelerated at the whim of gravity toward that big, flat thing you might choose to call “the ground” with barely enough time to think “Oh no, not again,” before various parts of your anatomy are rearranged due to abrupt deceleration.
And that’s not even to mention all the sharks, crocodiles, lions, bears, hyaenas, driver ants, piranhas, mosquitos, leeches, tapeworms, roundworms, pinworms, hookworms, whipworms, flatworms, amoebae, plasmodia, fungi, lots and lots of bacteria, plus the odd fellow human being who think of you, if they bother with you at all, as food.
As far as human beings go, the ones running the show are largely bent on turning the world into a shrine to their petty fears, prejudices, and misconceptions, when they’re not out for simple self-aggrandizement. Most of the 6+ billion other people are too busy keeping themselves afloat to worry about what happens when you turn 6+ billion human beings with a base of industrial know-how loose on a finite planet.
The universe is just one big conspiracy to drain serotonin out of your body and make you miserable!
So what are we going to do?
Have a party!
In celebration of all the ways the universe sucks!
On a blog!
Because that’s just how pathetic human beings are!
Update:
LET’S GET THIS CHUMPWAGON STARTED! w00t!
i’ll join you as soon as i crash from this 4-day long sugar rush.
Thanks, p, physics and Feinstein, an unholy alliance of the inevitable and the unenviably emu are REALLY bringing me down.
Pinko:
See the video added in the update.
YOU found THEM, and now THEY are YOURS — IT’s so depressing!! But at least you don’t have to say all those nouns over and over again, which really wears you down…
Of course, once I posted this, AG disappeared — providing, if it were needed, yet more proof that the universe is vast, empty, and uncaring. After all, over 95% of the matter and energy in the universe can’t even be bothered to interact with the particles we’re made of.
But AG owes us drunken commenting!
No only are you all giant fatties compared to slender me, I pass right through you like you are not even there. There isn’t a club n the universe that I can’t breeze through. I am ultra exclusive and it is like your entire planet barely attracts my attention. Super string theory can’t even explain my ability to comment on blogs! Losers!
I thought this week felt off… now I realize it’s the entire universe.
************Zap**************
I can haz flavor?
eMuon?
kthxbye
Also, Orange molecules are overactive this week.
See: Tucker Carlson, my car.
[Comment removed at request of AG -- plover]
Tucker Carlson is so depressing…
oh, wrong thread.
AG is so depressing… yeah, maybe I’m not going there
The idea of Pinko and UC in Beantown, snorkeling, and me not being there is so depressing… no, I’d manage to get over that…
um, seriously, the end of this week has been the best 3 or 4 days I’ve had in months… sorry, I’m just not depressed enough today…
Super Kamiokande does not agree with AG assertions. Super Kamiokande is concerned with rare neutrino events.
i prefer to debate the physics of wonton burrito meals