There are fish that reside in barrels.
There are other fish that provide temptation to shorebirds to shoot the fish in the barrels.
Apparently, this is just business as usual among fish.
Here is the trail of breadcrumbs left by fish:
Quote# 61128
The five divisions of homosexuality are…
The Stockholm (syndrome) homosexual, who was seduced and/or graduated into homosexuality by another, almost-always-older, male. The Effeminate homosexual who over-relates to women, usually due to an absent or passive father, and/or an overbearing mother. The Spotlight homosexual who’s rebelling against manlaw and loves the attention and drama that homosexuality brings. The Vagifearian homosexual who’s terrified of girls/women, usually due to older-female-on-younger-male sexual or physical or emotional abuse. And finally, the rarest of all, the Normalphobe homosexual, who is without any outward signs of homosexuality and doesn’t need or want attention, but can’t stand being sexually normal. Every homosexual is in at least one of these five divisions.
Carl Morris AKA Mantronikk
No seriously, the dude’s name is Mantronikk…
Except he forgot class 6:
Guys who are buried so deep in the closet that they obsess over the various “categories” of gays to the exclusion of thinking about anything else but teh gayz (c.f. Mantronikk)
This trail leads to heteroseparatist.com, home of Mantronikk’s “man”ifesto — version 8.3 (!) — which he is apparently trying to turn into a book, and which details his suffering at the hands of “homofascists” and “homoappeasers” who insist on designating him by inappropriate words like “homophobe”. (This destination was separately arrived at by one Pinko Punko, who seems to have greater resistance to temptation.) Note: Though many wonders are detailed below, many more reside behind that innocent looking link — temptations yet remain.
So, “no human being has ever impregnated a female and bore a child”.
Well, if we were to presume all those words mean what they mean to most people, then, well, instant fail: the statement would basically imply that no women (who have or will have children) work in fertility clinics, and home artificial insemination by lesbian couples (where the partner not being impregnated has or will have children of her own) never happens. He would indeed be the only one noticing that…
Somehow I don’t think that’s what he meant though. The basic joke seems to be that humans born without a womb don’t get pregnant. (Shocking! Film at eleven!) Also, nothing in his discourse indicates that he’s taking account of fertility clinics. So the description of his world we are left with is one where “human beings” (who are apparently all male) impregnate “females” (who are apparently not human beings). No doubt if I pointed out that this wording is patently misogynist, it would mean that I’m a gynofascist or something.
Plus, we are left with the grammatical oddity of the verb “impregnate” apparently possessing reversible transitivity, i.e. with the possibility that “X impregnates Y” might mean that X’s action with respect to Y results in X becoming pregnant and thus in a position to “bear a child”.
And this isn’t even to mention that he seems to not know the difference between “transgendered” and “transsexual” (big surprise, I know), and apparently thinks male-to-female transsexuals expect to become pregnant. Presumably, because the lives of “females” revolve around being pregnant and nothing else. (Well, this is the same person who apparently needed to come up with the word “Normalphobe” to explain away gay people who don’t fit his stereotypes of gay people.) In what may be considered a small kindness, he does not hint at whether he believes female-to-male transsexuals think they can “impregnate”.
The marvels of biological reasoning:
Nature doesn’t do that.
Because every human being ever born has had fully functional testicles or ovaries, and there are no miscarriages. That whole death in childbirth thing? Totally a myth. At least in “human beings” which, as shown above, are never female.
Here is a conundrum:
The second question seems to show a rather marked lack of imagination, while the first question seems more indicative of an overactive one.
… and each one was so terrifying he felt it necessary to count them?
Or someone marrying a fruitbat for the free kumquats. Or a hedgehog marrying a Bob’s apple fritter because, um, because UC likes both of them.
Someone has a high opinion of himself. Don’t worry honey, you’re not all that.
It’s the “once” part I find hard to believe.
Never let it be said Biblical literalism doesn’t have its conveniences.
Anyone have any idea how to reconcile these two (emphasis added):
B) [V]andalism, proactive violence, and economic oppression (like firing or not hiring a gay person), are not a part of heteroseparatism.
Lastly, for those in need of a field guide, a heteroseparatist will say (“with great compassion and great certainty”, mark it well) that “if you are male and over the age of puberty, and you are not solely attracted to the female of our species, you are perverse and self-deceived“, but “would never stand near the funeral or memorial of a gay person with a ‘God hates fags’ sign.” Well, there you have it, a nobility almost approaching that of your average noble.
…your average noble gas.
~
He’s like a gaybaiting Count on bizarro Sesame Street. “One, two, three- three homosexuals!”
Also, I LOVE the formatting. Looks just like a screwed up Word file. So much more authentic.
On h-ist,not 3B.
Dum de dum dum. Just sittin here browzin the nets. Nothin else on my mind. No ulterior motive, no sirree. Hum dum dum, wait, what’s
this?
To: Melinator
“then why does it take different, measureable amounts of time for light from the Sun to reach each planet”
Have you been to other planets? Have you measured the time it takes light to go from the sun to those planets?
… crickets …
I didn’t think so.
Special bonus feature:
.
My goodness, where did that barrel come from?
fstdt.net is so my favorite website now.
Is this the prom dress?
Oops… it was. I had to click through a variety of links though to finally get to it. May their daughter’s privates be protected so well.
It is quite the dress.
P.S. I see over at the home of the sea kittens, some afishionado has taken it upon he/she/it/fish’s self to help fish help Jennifer. By rediscovering his poisson.
~
I think ChristWire is a joke that fish fell for. Sad. This is like when Brando’s sarcastrometer broke.
Also, Newton intelligent designing light refraction based on his alchemist ways:
“To: MrsEmmaPeel
***He split the light beam into its spectra and imposed 7 colors on it— simply because 7 was a magic number for him.***
Perhaps it is because there are 3 primary colors and 3 secondary colors.
He just added a complimentary color”
As if the Princess article wasn’t crushing enough… now I find out that fish was duped? What is the world coming to??
I trusted fstdt and now my heart is broken. The 7 colors is for reals though.
The Dallas Cowboys article couldn’t help you, fish?
The South Park review didn’t trigger?
fish has been taken in. I need to wash my mouth out.
I just realized filthbot could go to town on that. That last comment was Fünkesque.
fish has lost his touch now that he’s not blogging.
Next, he will be telling us about his new Nigerian friends.
Never went up a level. If I had, I would have picked up on it (I hope).
If I had, I would have picked up on it (I hope).
Oh right… You’ve been busted, fish.
Poor fish has been played, landed, and is now thrashing around in a cooler full of ice.
But he has procreated an LOLfish for the occasion.
~
Somehow I had never seen that one, so it’s new to me! fish could probably web log from his archives and I wouldn’t necessarily know.
That picture makes me sad. Once I think the fish can talk I become sad that he will soon have been lunch.
Here is a happy youtube for you, Mister P.
But of course, there is always the other hand.
~
I got even worse stuff. Stuff so bad UC will NOT sleep tonight. Let me find it.
fish could probably web log from his archives and I wouldn’t necessarily know.
You need to do more archive spelunking, Pinko!
Have you seen this one PP?
No. I hate myself. Nothing could be more awesome, except a personal private captioned photo that only UC and I can speak of. It is the holiest of the holy.
fstdt strikes again:
Scientists no longer believe in phlogiston, ergo evolution is false.
Scientists who thought ulcers were caused by stress? Liars. And so evolution is false.
And scientists who thought new neurons aren’t produced in adults? You guessed it: liars too. And another reason why evolution is false.