The Preposterously Named Wilhelm Godschalk

…wins our contest. We had a contest many months ago that no one entered. The contest was for ridiculous comment des bloggo. From the HIV-denialist rag tag fleet slowly fleeing the tyranny of reason (home of some classic classic commenters like Hank Barnes, etc.)

“Good God! DID YOU READ THAT? The paper that Chris Noble cited? Have these people no shame? To begin with, there are 9 authors again, the hallmark of crappy science. You’ll only find this phenomenon in today’s biomedical corner. In other fields, researchers still write their papers alone, or in collaboration with one other colleague.”

I present it to you so you might revel in its unreason and illogic. The more sciency and/or -ish readers of our very own web debacle might recognize the hilariousness of Wilhelm. I will deign to enter his the realm of his self-published! self-published! internet treatise at a later date. The thread from which this comment came over at Aetiology, is here (trust me, it’s a laugh a minute). A laudable Chris Noble fights it out with the hosebeasts, and sums up Preposterous Wilhelm thusly:

“At this point it might be a good opportunity for me to stop adding more words to this thread and find something more productive to do. I hope that I have demonstrated to most people that people like Wilhelm and Gene far from being “defenders of the scientific method” are actually profoundly antiscience. In their fervour to attack the science involving HIV and AIDS they are prepared to jettison all of modern virology.

Wilhelm Godschalk would have people believe that thousands of scientists working in hundreds of labs around the world doing experimental research on poliovirus and FMDV are all incompetent idiots who should just take his personal word for it that RNA viruses don’t mutate.”

I feel sorry for the run-of-the-mill fundamentalist creationists, because they are constrained by a 2000 year old document for their munchwaggonery, whereas the HIV/AIDS and Global Warming denialists have more of a free hand in their creative wrongness. The best part, similarly to proponents of Intelligent Design, the same goal brings together strange bedfellows. Uneasy alliances between different flavors of crazy routinely form and are destroyed within comment threads. It is like chundermuffins arguing over different dilution series for homeopathy. Water is water, chumprockets!

33 Responses to “The Preposterously Named Wilhelm Godschalk”


  • Excuse me while I drink a large and wildly appetizing cup of iced coffee. I’m really gonna get a big mouthful here and settle down to read a Three Bulls! thread.

    Dum de dum…

    To begin with, there are 9 authors again, the hallmark of crappy science. You’ll only find this phenomenon in today’s biomedical corner. In other fields, researchers still write their papers alone, or in collaboration with one other colleague.

    SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

    {edited by site-owner for line-breaks}

    Man, who saw that one coming?

  • Sorry. As God is my witness I thought there was word wrap.

  • When you’re snarfing and spewing ice tea all over your investment you’re worrying about word wrap?

    That’s like auditioning the finger puppets while watching the 700 Club.

    Or something.

    3 Bulls, Pinko, Trollypants: all threats to the greatest country on earth. I’ll get back to you when I figure out which country that is.

  • A play in one act:

    Pinko: “Hi, I’m Richard 23 and I think I can just waltz into 3B and get myself on the quote board. Blarb.”

    Pinko:[checks quote board "Words of Wisdom'] “f***. self-n4iled. Wah wah.”

    Pinko: “Hi, I’m Richard 23 and you can EAT IT!!!!112″

  • Hi, I’m Pinko Moonbat and I need to be saved.

    Chick Tracts

    Be sure to read Men of Peace? about the Islamomexihomocobag menace you represent.

    Bow down before the Bush! Quoteboredz!!one!@ Sux0rz you!!!?

  • Will someone not find me the link to the Sadly, No Chick tract I so desire to quote in this thread?

  • Shit, did they do one! Well, cockadoodledoo!
    No, you lie. BuRN DiE Reed MArie Jon’!!1!

    Ohh, this sounds neet: Last Rites
    When this Catholic dies, he learns that his church couldn’t save him.

    Hahaha! Die Catholicks! Wear dresses and funny hats all you want! You’re going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks! Hahahaha!

  • I really hope this frumpnugget regularly google’s himself. How could he not. I want him to grace us with his benevolent, stifling emu-ness. Seriously, this guy is a classic. I love how they are all on a first name basis.

    “Whattup, HanK! AIDS sucks! And is made up.”

    “Hey, Willio! Remember we think HIV is real, just not deadly!”

    “No, no, no, we think it’s a conspiracy!”

    “Whatev, we agree that the “SCIENTIST-EVILS” are in the pocket of BIG PHARMA”

    “Hellz ya!”

    “Spark up a blunt!”

  • Not only is it made up but it sucks! Classic.

    Too many scientists ruin a science-y writeup.
    Too much peer review spoils Intelligent Design.
    Not enough guilt spoils religion.

    None of that is funny.
    Crap crap crap.
    Choadbuckets.

    Goodnight!

  • The one they did specifically involved the devil and Halloween. And I couldn’t get Geenie C. to believe the drawings were really Jack Chick’s, just a couple of words were changed.

    That guy is a filet o’fish o’crazy. Square and fried.

  • Well this is the one they borrowed, not that it could get trippier, but still can’t find the update.

  • Hahaha. You’re crazy like a burger. Round with a pickle.

    Where’s this Halloween spoof-o-rama?
    I can’t find my search engine.
    I think it needs plugs and oil.

    Can I find it? Sadly, Nope.

  • They don’t label too well. I’m going to the source.

  • Tara Smith is a scientist.

    Tara Smith is hot.

    Tara Smith is always right.

    The logic of the genius in undeniable.

    Eat it?

    Why thank you, I will, indeed, proceed to the place of eating and upon arriving, begin consumption.

  • Oh, Richard, Richard, look what you made me do.

  • So, what does he win?

    I made muffins yesterday and ended up with blueberry scones. They’re still pretty fresh…

  • Oh tigrismus! You have jumped the gun in our new header entry contest that we announced back in the future! 200,000 points, plus we’ll announce the contest again in the future!

  • Cool, tigrismus. But I didn’t star in it, so no top ramen for you!
    In case you didn’t know, it’s America’s favorite ramen noodle soup.

    Funny, I read that tract last night. I read several.
    Now I got tract marks all over.

    Must. Sleep. Soon. Or. Never.

  • That’s not you with the ‘stache? That’s what I was told, I promise.

    And Pinko, you announced it about 18 years ago, I just needed inspiration from my muse, Richard.

  • “That guy is a filet o’fish o’crazy. Square and fried.”

    Pinko, you are single-handedly redesigning my vocabulary.

  • I don’t even know where that one came from. I’m slightly worried about voices.

  • Also, Chuckwagon, try to be civilized!

  • When am I not civilized?

    Have I slapped anybody with my wang lately? Nooo.

    Have I made any comments about AG menstruating 365 days a year? Noooo.

    Have I killed any dead jokes lately? Yeeeeeeessss.

    Have I submitted my headers yet? Nooooo. But they are sooooooooo awesome.

  • Well, Chuckles, you are being your sexist worst, and Aetiology linked this thread. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dr. T smacked you upside your Genius head.

  • Is Richard fresh off his meds? I like him.

    Oh, and just to prove the internet is still at my beck and call.

  • Nice absence of link, fullypants.

    Happy 50th, BTW>

  • Haha- I was thinking Dr. Tara, but that would be much more appropriate, although what should Chuckles be forced to play? I think he should be forced to have a job from which he cannot be fired, plus the same boss he has now. Come to think of it, I would pay money to see Chuckles appear on The Office.

  • I like you. You’re silly. When I’m not doing spit takes at Scrutator, Sadly No, The Poorman, Shelley the Republican, or even 3 Bullz, I’m, er, doing something else.

    And it doesn’t have anything to do with a finger and a dog. Zotto! Take that, Pasty! Blammorz!

    A Muse with a handlebar mustache. Hmmm. Soooory Suzi, clap cuz you got the AIDS. Repent sinner! How depressing. At least Trannie Coulter got off.

    I just read the Chick Tract about the Rabbi that didn’t accept Jesus — his head was pinched off and tossed into the pits of hell for the demons to play with it like a soccer ball. Chicko is the darkest of the Marx brothers. Oboy.

    Oh, and congrats on getting cobag into the Urban Dictionary. It’s almost as funny as hot lunch or chili dog!

  • The Urban Dictionary is getting a little too “Aristocrats” for me. Duck butter?

    Jesus, don’t Sigma Chi’s have anythign better to do? Answer: no.

  • Sadly knot!

  • Oh, sweet irony and cruel sitemasters. I had the site but was frustrated by the lack of preview. Forsooth, I shall try again to overcome my humble shell and allow you to behold the wondrous Chick tract.

  • Chuckles, you pig! If you had just one, ONE, menstrual cycle you’d get a little cramp and cry and die. Now shut yo mouth or I will sick an angry Rove bounty hunting, UC on your arse (I’d do it myself, but you’d enjoy it.)

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