Click for larger, more scientific view.
Some notes: BG just had a bath for this measurement; Smoke Dog has not had his bath. Fritos are regular, niether wild, nor mild, nor chili cheese. Corn Nuts are not ranch, if so would be off scale. Where would PupH score??
Tha answer is to send your dog to the local spa de chien. When mine comes back from at the spa, they’ve doused her in something which I call Chiennel No. 4. This manages to keep her fragrant (in the good way) (probably a 2 on the FSU scale) for several days until she finds some stinky patch of grass to roll in which, in her mind, fully exorcises the demonic scent with which she had been saddled by her groomers.
PupHatter is somewhere just beyond the cheese, a near perfect 10 on ‘needs a bath’ scale.
Unless, of course, he eats the cheese or the frito’s… in which case he cause the the meter to break in such a way that sharing a bathtub shaped enclosed space with him becomes quite impossible.
Still, he’s a good 5 points below emu.
you wouldnt want me getting on that scale…
PupH ain’t too bad even though he hardly ever gets baths – more often he gets squirted with the garden house when he isn’t paying attention. My theory is the ancient dogs on the savanah never took baths why should he?
When we go on walkies I sometimes throw him in a clump of rosemary bushes – so rosemary fritos – I would say that would make him about a 4 on the stinkometer.
Did somebody say walkies?!?!?!?!1/!!?!?! *somersaults* *pirouettes* *howls of joy*
PupH we just got back from walkies!
Did not!
Did to!!!
not..not…not…not….not!!11!
Did to…to…to…to!
the absurdly low position of corn nuts on that scale tells me everything I need to know about Pinko Punko’s skillz as a so-called “scientist”. You can smell it when people THINK about corn nuts.
Res, the units are in Frito, not “corn.”
otherwise BG would have scored much higher.
It’s a frito scale so you could smell like the spiciest, BO-iest, sweatiest, tropicaliest, Mangoiest anything but you wouldn’t dent it. It’s fritos. Smokey dog has an apex of frito-ness about a week after bath, then he winds down to “dog.” It is weird how frito is in between- perhaps it is the immature biofilm.
I’m with Res, corn nuts have been left in the dirty underwear basket for like 15 years. It’s like scotch in the cask, the longer in the basket, the more corn nuttier they are. They should score at least an 8fpk (fritos per kernel).
They are pretty stinky. Perhaps there should be a IFU meeting on whether corn nuts are a stink planet or a stink dwarf planet.
How can you look at that adorable face and think stinky? Teh cute overpowers teh stink.
I think your nose is broken.
LOL!
Imagine my surprise when I click over and I’m trying to decipher ONCE AGAIN what the heck is going on over here…read your headline…trying to focus on the graphics and then see my graphic!
LOL!
BG hearts PP!
I know, this blog makes me feel like I maybe took some pills that got me so messed up that I forgot I took them.
I can’t look at that graphic much longer. Just the thought of Fritos makes me want to vomit.
I have this theory about love of fritos and prowess in the sack.
that’s funny, because I have this theory about love of fritos and erectile dysfunction.
HAHA HAHAHAAHA!!!@!1!@!! BURN!!!
Are you talking about a sack of fritos? Are they powerful? I hear a sack of fritos can align 1 out of 8 inner chakras. I think it might be bindemu
that’s funny, I have this theory about love of chakras and staying the heck out of my bed.
Nobody tops fish with emuneration.
People who have inner harmony probably do it missionary style. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Not everyone has room in their houses for a rodeo ring and a friggin trapeze, Mr. Kinkypants.
I don’t know, fritos in the sack sounds kind of uncomfortable. Usually I keep-a maya fritos outta there. It’s better to stay Platonic with fritos. Or maybe Kantian – would you really want to know the frito-an-sich anyway?
CodeMonkey like fritos.
CodeMonkey like Tab and Mountain Dew.
CodeMonkey have big, warm, secret fuzzy heart,
CodeMonkey like you.
-
CodeMonkey by Jonathan Coulton
This PrintMonkey (Hey Chuckles, I know you have, like, tons of work to do, but could you print out this website and all the pages it links to for me? Thaaanks) hates Fritos.
It is posts and comments like these that keep me coming back to 3B.
I joined the Eastern Orthodox Dorito faith after the Frito/Dorito schism of 1262.
I still want to know how they managed to nail an entire dorito to that frito factory door. How did they prevent the shattering without a soggy dorito? Verily it is, forsooth and forsake, a miracle of the elder snack beings from on high in the land of much oddly scented smoke, Munchtopia.
Only Doritos transform to the body and blood of Pinko.
It’s been a long time since I thought about Fritos.
Now, apparently, it is time once again.
~
I KNOW
I had to buy some about a month ago. I don’t know what it was, but I just really wanted a cold beer and some Fritos. Maybe the dogs needed a bath…
Or you’re pregnant.
What’s happened to Pinko, I hope he didn’t get burned up in the desert.
~
Or you’re pregnant.
I thought that was goldfish crackers…
Speaking of Fritos, has Mister Jumps In Lakes gotten better yet?
~
Slowly getting better… a lot better than he was, but still on heavy duty drugs. He has some nasty reaction to something in nature, but apparently this year has been a banner year for outdoor allergies in pooches.