Set the controls for the heart of the sun
Exercising the distinctively wayward judgment that is the foundation of his notoriety, Pinko has provided me with access to the broadcasting equipment at 3 Bulls! studios. I was going to use this opportunity to offer a tour of the studios for those curious as to what goes on here, but that turns out not to be such a good idea – at least for now.
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
You see, there’s been a wee problem, and nobody is being allowed inside right now. Actually, it’s not so much that no one is allowed inside as no one being able to get inside. We’re all safe though (we think). It’s not like terrorists have siezed the place or Cheney is camped out in the lobby. We can even still get messages out as we’ve captured a mecha-rhea (they’re much less dangerous than mecha-emus) and cannibalized it to make a satellite uplink.
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
Unfortunately, while we’re (probably) physically safe, we’re a bit concerned that the FBI, or the DoE or the EPA, or Geraldo might show up soon (well, ok, under the current administration, scratch the EPA). It’s good that the studios are secluded as the mess is not visible to casual passersby. At night though, the glow may be too outré to go unremarked – it’s probably a bit beyond even what the neighbors have come to expect from 3 Bulls!
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
Heart of the sun
[tom-tom solo — images of plover hopping about on tom-toms flapping like a meth-addled fruit-bat]
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
I suppose we should give a clearer sense of what’s happened in the hope that the loyal base of the 3 Bulls! audience (or even those who only tune in when they can’t find a good train wreck on the local news) might be able to offer any suggestions. Have you ever seen a peat bog that’s been tossed like a salad, covered in gold leaf, and then drenched with phosphorescent chocolate sauce?
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
That’s what the 3 Bulls! studios currently looks like, at least the bits that aren’t swathed in an opaque puce-gray mist that looks like it’s being run through morphing software with a touch of gangrene. We’re pretty sure it’s only a minor spacetime anomaly (and I didn’t touch anything – I swear!). Our first thought was to see if we could fix it with a Magic Donut, but, well, have you ever tried to get a Magic Donut away from UC?
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
So, at this point, we’re rather hoping that really soon someone will sort out quantum knot theory or loopy phlogiston strings or whatever it is they’re working on. Tonight would be good. Isn’t there a fiber we can bundle or a waveform we can collapse that’ll renormalize the dimension or something? Any suggestions? We’d kind of like to get our studios back.
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
Heart of the sun
Heart of the sun
Heart of the sun
Does this mean you won’t be broadcasting a Doogie Howser rerun and that we should go elsewhere for Doogie relief?
Allright, back again, this site has failed miserably. “County police said the emu probably will stay off the roads and highways unless it is frightened or cornered. . . . We urge citizens to be careful, Officer Camille Neville said.” No 3B coverage at all.
http://washingtontimes.com/metro/20060921-110745-9833r.htm
One can only conclude: 3Bulls isn’t serious about the Emu run amok threat to this nation. I’m not voting for any of your candidates.
Hey, the emu is only a few miles from DC. This sounds like Chuckles’ big chance to protect America from the emu menace. Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Solar flare video
I though the emu was stationed in the Whitehouse. Maybe they all work at the EPA (Emu Protection Agency).
I’ll go get my emu club.
The trick with emu hunting is not in the feet, dangerous though they are. You have to watch the eyes of the emu. Those dead, soulless eyes will be your first and only warning of the deadly emu foot strike. It takes a special kind of person/shorebird to look deep into the heart of the emu and club it over the head until it is dead, dead, dead.
I am just such a person.
I knew you could do it!
Chuckles fan club needs T-shirts.
I totally heart the Magic Donut, sequestered in the UC dimension as it were.
Also, since we are headed for a flaming abyss, why not take some names down while we are at it (with the requisite ass kicking)
Perhaps for the great snorkel in the sky?
Welcome on board, Plover. I think this is the first call for a string theory modification based on the magic donut dimensional strand that I have seen proposed on 3B yet.
And hey, I didn’t even know about the 3Bulls! studio. I just email my stuff to Pinko Punko and he does the rest of the work. Maybe when it’s open for business one day I’ll use it to go emu hunting.
Incidentally, the first time I listened to Umagumma, it was quite profound. I think it was the first psychedelic classical piece I ever heard and really opened my eyes to a whole new genre of prog rock. I didn’t know that wanky people wrote rock at the time, having gorged myself on Carter, Bartok, and Cage.
Lies!
You have a whole pile of Yes and ELP! I call wank!
Does the pile include Tormato and Love Beach?
Cool! Welcome Plover!!!!
Sigh, but I guess this demotes me from 8th most popular 3bull! to 9th…
WHatever, GS, everybody hates you because you always have quality and a certain unforced whimsicality, plus the 20 weeks a year vacation! Who are you, National Lampoons?
and PupH for crying out loud! Hey little guy!
Aw, you shouldn’t fall for the old fishing for compliments routine.
Poor Lil PupH!!! I hear that he is well but per usual unsated.
I have a choice of sleeping with either the Super Grover or the Cookie Monster plush toy (aka the blue boys) tonight while staying at my friend’s house…Decisions…Decisions…
Uh Grover, no contest!
I’m still mad at you for not including me in your trip planning.
You don’t want cookie monster to mistake your personal bits for cookies when you are sleeping.
T-Shirts are indeed in the works.