I just called Boxer’s office. On hold for 7 minutes. Low quality/resolution classical music.
Staffer answers, seemingly pissed.
PP: “What is the Senators position on the torture/detainee bill?”
Staffer: “The Senator has not yet issued a statement on this bill but we are awaiting the vote on the Specter/S.P.E.C.T.R.E.? Amendment now….I can take a message on your views about the bill for the Sentator (still pissed).”
PP: “It would be a shameful day for the United States for this bill to pass in any form. I would be highly disappointed if my Senators voted either for this bill or cloture on debate.”
Staffer: “Well OK thank you..” (hangs up)
PP: Too mad to lambast the insidious cabal of the CCA.
1-800-AMNESTY- ask for the Capitol switchboard, use the pretenses provided below, then COBRA STRIKE FORCE ACTION TEAM on their ass about the CCA, but first the torture. Habeas Corpus, then Habeas Kickus Assus.
Feinstein’s hold music MUCH higher sound quality. Staffer much friendlier.
PP: “What is the Senator’s position on the current torture/detainee Bill?”
Staffer: “The Senator is highly against the Bill.”
PP: “Is the Senator against the Bill enough to vote against cloture on debate?”
Staffer: almost laughing, tralala like, “Well, I don’t know, that is something we’d have to ask the Senator.”
PP: “I’d like the Senator to know that passage of this shameful Bill would be inexcusable. Even if the Specter Amendement passes on Habeas Corpus rights, there are enough other aspects of the Bill, including the definition of torture, presentation of secret evidence, etc. that I am highly against any vote by Senator Feinstein in favor of this Bill or for cloture on debate. Please pass on my concerns to the Senator in no uncertain terms.”
Staffer: “Thank you for your input.” (hangs up)
PP: Curses! She had me at “we’d have to ask the Senator”- it made it sound like we were going to have a picnic on the Oval and go Pork Snorkeling and have tidbits with the Senator and she got me off my game. I will now lie in wait and get her on the CCA issue later.
UPDATE UPDATE: If John McCain were a phone number, he’d be 9-1-1 as in IS A JOKE. Gregor Samsa says:
GS: Can you explain to me why John McCain voted against the Habeus Corpus amendment to the MCA. I think that this is probably one of John McCain’s most disgusting votes and that says a lot. All of his pandering to the press on this issue in recent weeks appears to be just that pandering for political reasons and not principled reasons. This vote and the MCA are absolutely disgusting.
AK: I let the Senator know.
GS: No. I want an explanation.
AK: McCain hasn’t released a statement yet.
GS: So are you saying that staff is not prepared to address this issue?
AK: No I’m not saying that.
GS: Well then I would like an explanation!
AK: There’s nobody here to provide you an explanation.
GS: Well either McCain’s office is unprepared or they care so little about the issue that they can’t be bothered to address it.
AK: Look I’ll transfer you to Church (I forget his last name) our Military affairs staffer.
Church’s Voicemail: Blah blah blah
GS: Long rant about the Habeus Corpus amendment, with a demand for a call back with a full explanation.
Dials up the McCain DC office again…
AK: Please hold
AK: Please hold
GS: Did you just transfer me to the Military Affairs staffer.
AK: I don’t know.
GS: I left a voicemail with him. But I want an explanation now for John McCain’s vote on Habeus Corpus.
AK: I gave you the voicemail of the Military Affairs Staffer.
GS: I wan to speak to someone in person and get an answer.
AK: There’s nobody here.
GS: Chief of staff?
AK: Let me try…
AK: Nope not there.
GS: Next person down on the organization chart? Assistant chief of staff?
AK: Look there’s nobody here that can help you.
GS: So you are saying that John McCain’s office is unprepared to address this issue?
AK: You are being irrational! I don’t want to have to hang up on you. We are very busy. I have eight lines on hold.
GS: I AM NOT BEING IRRATIONAL! This is an extremely important issue. You should have anticipated questions on this vote. I want an explanation for this despicable vote!
AK: There is nobody here that can answer your question. I don’t want to hang up on you. You can come down to the office to see for yourself.
GS: I’m in Arizona. You know the state that JM represents!
AK: I didn’t know that. Can you please hold?
AK: Please don’t yell any more. I’ve told you there is nobody here to help you. I’m just an intern.
GS: *(first time voice is raised in whole conversation)* Look, I won’t be called irrational by Senator McCain’s office. I would like to point out that you work for us and not the other way around. I’m your constituent. Either Senator McCain’s office is unprepared to address this issue or you care so little about the issue that you won’t address it.
*(Anchors Aweigh Hold Music Plays During Last Rant)*
GS: Did you just hang up on me?
GS: Why did I hear the hold music?
AK: I accidentally pushed the hold button.
GS: !!!!!!!!!! What’s your name?
GS: Last name?
GS: Spell it!
AK: Look if you’ll hold I’ll try and find somebody to talk to you..
GS: So you bounce me around for five minutes and tell me that’s not an option. That nobody is there to address my concerns. And then you put me on hold while I’m talking? And then I call you on it. You lie about it. And now you offer access? Your actions and the actions of the Senator’s office are absolutely disgusting! *hangs up*
If Boxer or Feinstein vote for cloture, there will be a replay. A painful and awkward replay for some sad staffer.