The Fan Has Been Shatted

BREAKING

Yikes! Oh noes! What…what…what could happen???

We just got our answer to what the trolls have been up to!!!!!!!

To:C.T.Rolly-Pantsalot@climateaudit.com
From:"James Inhofe"
Subject: RE:Your Proud and Amazing Service To Our Country
Attachment: imhofe.jpg

Dear Honorable Captain,

Thank you for your exceptional and special gift. I shall wear it with pride throughout my time in the Senate. It is probably difficult for you to understand the deep pain the former conservative majority feels to be trodden under the heels of such insufferable boobs. Our club of American grown supergeniuses, communicating by thought alone the most subtle and sophisticated of calculations, reading the very thought of God in the aetheric miasma. We are being tested like Garry Kasparov by Deep Blue. We will pass this test by taking a mental baseball bat to the "Deep Blue." Please find included a picture of myself with your lovely tribute. I like to wear it while mapping Lie group E8 248 dimensional symmetry and doing superstring Sudoku puzzles with only two starting numbers, i and pi.

Regards,

James Inhofe,

Outside of Iamatotalchunderbag, OK

inhofe.jpg

WAIT….WHAT ARE THOSE??? ARE THOSE GRAPEFRUIT?? DOES THE SENATOR NOT KNOW?? SOMEBODY NEEDS TO WARN THE SENATOR!!!!!

WARN HIM!!!! WARN HIM!1!!

27 Responses to “The Fan Has Been Shatted”


  • Who’s the 70’s era psychic sidekick? Or is she an at-large medium?

  • Any comment I could possibly make would be deemed insensitive. I thought it was a picture that inferred 1000 snarks. Too bad Inhofe is about to be devoured by the grapefruit chupacabra!!!!

  • “Too bad Inhofe is about to be devoured by the grapefruit chupacabra!!!!”

    There will be photos, right? RIGHT???

    I like the subtle placement of the citrus accoutrements… the subtle nod to Mickey and the tangly codpiece. Which will the Chupacabra go for first???

    Oh my GAWD!!! She’s not the chupacabra is she???

  • Come to think of it, she looks a tad like Michael Crichton…

  • The Uncanny Canadian

    Transmissibility of grapefruit chupacabra via mail? That is surely a WMD, isn’t it? I would have thought the chupacabra’s presence is intrinsic to the environment and not the grapefruit. If true, I have some citrus to put in the mail pronto.

  • Or the more obvious interpretation, grapefruit chupacabra likes to eat grapefruit, and it you are WEARING A SUIT MADE OUT OF GRAPEFRUIT YOU MIGHT BE IN GRAVE DANGER.

    I guess I could spell it out ever more. Do people want it to be so easy around here?

    Maybe everyone can have their own spoons for spoon feeding. Ooh, maybe that means we can have snacks!

    Snacks and naps!

  • Hello?!?!?! Did I not suggest that the grapefruit chupacabra would go for the Senator’s codly piece??? Hmmmmm???

  • Maybe everyone can have their own spoons for spoon feeding.

    Will they be grapefruit spoons?

  • Possibly, but the worst thing to do is spoon with grapefruit, then it is Friday the 13th G-rated teen slasher pic featuring Grapefruit Chupacabra devouring grapefruit and significant others, promise rings and all. GC don’t care about grapefruit chastity.

  • Silly Pinko Punko. Don’t you know that the existence of the grapefruit chupacabra is still further proof that there is no global warming on earth? The chupacabra HATES hot weather and, indeed, left its original habitat on Mars because of the documented global warming there..

  • ARGH! It is a creature.

  • Where’s Anita Bryant in our hour of need?

  • Taking a pie in the face from Bella Abzug, you liberal trash!

  • If you wear a string of apples around your neck, it keeps away the Grapefruit chupacabra. or is that the doctor? I can never remember.

  • I vote for throwing apples at Inhofe to see if it works.

  • Actually, Inohofe has been searching for years for the Spoon of the Covenant, the lone weapon that can defeat the Grapefruit Chupacabra and, by proxy, the Hoax of Global Warming. It is rumored to be buried in the Lost Kitchen Drawer of Tanis. To find the drawer, you have to find the Placemat Room, which contains a large reproduction of a formal place setting. When the sun reaches Brunch, you have to put a giant butter knife of a specific size in the correct location as deemed by etiquette. The sun will reflect off the knife’s tip onto the location of the Lost Drawer, and with that, the Spoon. The message on this photo contains instructions for constructing the butter knife:

    “You must make the knife 10 jamirs long…and take back one jamir to tell the Emu God whose Spoon this is to eat it!”

  • At least it wasn’t blood oranges. I can’t stand the sight of blood oranges. And needle nose pliers. Did someone mention snacks?

  • does this have something to do with gavels?

  • Event 1: Appearance of grapefruit chupacabra on 3B attacking Inhofe

    Event 2: SadlyNo! begins to suffer massive and frequent connectivity issues.

    Both events occurred with several hours of one another.

    Just sayin’

  • If Inhofe is really the Sadly, No! server then that would explain–

    That would explain—well, I’m sure it would explain something.

  • Inhofe doesn’t believe in Sadly, No!

    Bush has pledged to veto any new hamsters for SadlyServers. It’s a test run to take out Atrios.

  • You know what they need?

    Mecha-Hamsters! Powered by Rush music!

  • I believe this photograph may have been tampered with or altered in some way. Upon close inspection, one can see books in the background, while it is well known that Senator James Inhofe is from Oklahoma.

  • They are probably fake books with secret compartments for shoes.

  • It’s like the Nathan Tabor picture, with Book-wallpaper in the background.

  • you have to find the Placemat Room, which contains a large reproduction of a formal place setting.

    this is the part where I went from quietly giggling to cackling out loud, and scaring my new co-workers.

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