All other voting schemes are illusions of your false-consciousness engram Islamoliberal-fascist mentality! You must use these instructions to stop the karmic steamroller and use your secret header contest voting powers for the side of good in the battle for the universe!
- Take our personality test.
- Lettuce abuse you for hours about your miserable personality and worthless life. (This is the fun part.)
- Reject your former life because you now have more important things to do with your money.
- Get hooked up to one of our electroshock feedback machines so we can bring out your inner OPERATING EMUON powers. (This is the other fun part.)
- Go on interdimensional quest to bring us a Magic Donut.
- Use Magic Donut to dominate the international møøse curling scene.
- Then you will be pure enough to view our pre-approved voting list.
- Vote for one header in this thread, then one header in that other voting thread.
- Repeat previous step until your votes make a pretty butterfly spread out across the spaceblogtime continuum.
- Do not be surprised by your desire to vote for Tom Cruise. After all, he is saving you from the trillion year nemesis of all OPERATING EMUONs.
- Unless there are more Congressional hearings, our OPERATING EMUONs in the US Justice Department will be standing by to make sure you comply.
- Presuming you have voted as expected, you may prepare for your wedding to Reverend Emuun.
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’
Though intertubes are swollen
Keep those emus rollin’