I guess I will add up the Header Contest votes, and get the headers into rotation, but first a little story:
I was trapped in line at the warehouse club gas station the other day. So many cars in line, once you are in line you are basically in line. We were behind some woman filling up her Exterra, and the pumps were slow so it took forever. And every second was like a waking nightmare. First she gets out of her SUV, chatting on her cell phone. She then proceeds to fill her tank while on her cell phone. She sets the pump on automatic and then proceeds to GET IN AND OUT OF HER CAR MULTIPLE TIMES. We’re sitting there thinking this is like Ed’s Appliance story about the locked and loaded chump in the condiment aisle. We then imagined what she must have been doing inside her car. This came to mind:
And maybe this:
And possibly this:
SHEESH, LADY! CUT THE SHENANIGANS! I thought she was going to explode the whole dealio.
Was she smoking? What’s the deal? Why was it so bad that she got in and out of her car? I mean, big woop. I usually wash my windows while at the pump, but each their own and yadda yadda yadda.
Chuckles, you should never talk on your cell phone at a gas pump! The whole thing could explode!
Because it was taking so long, she had to keep moving so the kudzu couldn’t take hold of her; once it entwines your ankles you’re a goner.
there is no reason that a cellphone would cause an ignition at the gas pump… why would anyone think that? apart from distracting you from using the pump properly that is.
besides, life is not hollywood.. you might go up in flames, but i doubt there would be a schwarzenegger-style mega explosion or anything… they do have safety features built in.
re: the first photo. WOW! is that guy still alive? someone please steal his DNA
Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Liberal Fascism: From Cicero to Cell phones.
zoolander FtW
chuckles, when you get in an out of your car you generate static electricity- perhaps you didn’t get the balloon joke. Maybe I should have said she was wearing wool socks and scuffing her feat on the carpet of her car. AIF, there was a time where gas pumps had signs to no talk on your cell phone- it was more don’t turn them on or off (in the very rare case of a tiny spark). At least Kathleen can take a joke! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE HATERS!!
Pinko Punko: Security Mom
Res Publica: AG coblog-ger.
Oh my gawd! I laughed a portion of my ass off when I clicked to the photos.
I think her husband was at my gas station. He was filling up some metal canister that was NOT GROUNDED! Thank gawd for humidity. On top of it, they had the veneers off of the gas pumps so you could see all of the mechanisms and all I could picture were drips of gasoline running out the exit/entrance under hot, running cars…
Pinko Punko: Security Mom
I think the term you want is “Yenta.”
AG and I also had some gas station shenanigans en route to filling up our car before returning it to the airport (read rushed as hell). After pulling up to an empty position, and realizing that it was full serve (read 80 cents more than self serve – as if!!!), we swung around to another bay the same time another woman was coming the opposite direction. Fine, she takes the first one in, and we take the other position, right? No, this woman drives up halfway between the two stations, essentially hosing us. And she’s on her cell phone. And she’s crying and in hysterics. On her cell phone, not even filling up her gas tank. Normally, I’m a little sensitive to people having meltdowns, but not in a gas station, and not when there is total chaos and we need to fill up. I had to get her attention and instruct her to back-up. It was not pretty.
Maybe she was in shock.
GC says the woman was probably also huffing on an oxygen tank. While filling scale models of the Hindenberg with hydrogen.
while carving a flint amulet with her magnesium knife
while petting her electric eel
And carrying the Olympic torch.
Cob-logger!
while chomping on pep-o-mint life “savers”
while filming a pepsi commercial with Michael jackson
Also, look how seriously intent the woman in blue is on the cigarette smoker. She needs a lab coat and clipboard.
while firing up a Cornballer™.
While seeing if her Jacob’s Ladder worked with her cigarette lighter plug adapter.
The reason why she kept getting in and out of the car is because she couldn’t figure out why the extendo mechanism on the van de Graaff generator wasn’t working.
What else is a sunroof for?
Man after looking at the dudes hair at this site: http://amasci.com/emotor/vdg.html
I’m definitely adding this to the list of machines I’m going to make one day (along with a Theremin and a Jacob’s Ladder).
while practicing her imitation of Gene Simmons for her KISS cover band.