It recently bestruck myself that once elected, our public will not have previously known our platform for our future rule. Some aspects include:
1) We will have Dibs.
2) Since our administration will be traveling at light speed, Bacon of the Month will happen EVERY DAY, except we will not age.
3) In the spirit of bipartisanship, we will appoint in a Recess Appointment, Dick Cheney as ambossador to the Giant Space Void. Should Ambossador Cheney desire to foment a beer hall putsch amongst the nothingness and rule the endless vacuum with an iron fist, this is not our affair. He can take it up with the infrequently passing-through neutrino, should be able to interact with it. I wish him well. God bless!
This is funnier than you’ve pulled off in a while. You actually made me “LOL”. But you will NEVER have dibs!
I take it back. Your last post was WAY funnier.
The last post may have been funnier, but because this one traveled at light speed, it was actually posted before the prior one. So, this post was the last post.
Wow, Res, you’ve really aged, while I’m still fresh and young. And flush with bacon!
Res, are you referring to the previous post by Pinko or the previous post on 3B — which is, ahem, by someone else? I need to know whether you are ignoring me accidentally or on purpose, so I’ll know whether I should be draped over a chaise with my hand stapled to my forehead, sighing theatrically, or if I should be plotting to shave your cat.
Why does University Update ping every single one of our posts??? I do think it is important that our children read about Dick Cheney.
I’ve always assumed that University Update is trackback spam. I’ve been deleting the links.
They are post farmers, they desire to educate about the great void and Cheney’s brave leadership!
I personally will be campaigning on the Emu Platform(s), although I am a bit concerned that they will make me look fat.
Curses, a joke broken on the back of a failed html tag.
Try again:
Emu Platform(s).
Much better.
“Since our administration will be traveling at light speed, Bacon of the Month will happen EVERY DAY, except we will not age.”
But the bacon will still be aged, right?
You know, plover was almost sounding needy for a second. I didn’t know that was possible.
Will Dibs have a D&D sliding scale of currency values?
200 Vanilla Dibs=20 Chocolate Dibs=2 Nestle Crunch Dibs=1 Cookies and Cream Dib=1/5 Drumstick Dib.
Oh Jennifer. you read my mind. I think this party is the cure for the timeless questions of aging bacon.
“the cure for the timeless questions of aging bacon.”
the cure, indeed.
Hey mdhatter- I need male nude models. I don’t recall seeing your application…
Query 1: If bacon is fried and there is no one to hear it, does it still sizzle?
Query 2: Before bacon can be eaten, it must be crispy. It must therefore first be halfway cooked to crispiness. From that point, there is always a remaining halfway point before crispiness is achieved. Thus, can bacon ever be crispy?
Jennifer. That’s because it was very cold that day.
No bacon for Cheney though! He can rule the nothingness all he wants, but if he wants to eat he’ll have to gnaw on his own limbs.
“but if he wants to eat he’ll have to gnaw on his own limbs.”
I bet he wouldn’t even miss them, wouldn’t even feel it. He’ll end up being an evil head attached to wires.
That is Ambossador Cheney, to yous. We must respect.
I thought, correctly, that this post was stupid and unfunny.
Was I thinking that, or did I actually say it??I?
Those are the breaks, Jeffwagon!
I was kind of amused by the Giant Space Void. Imagine trying to overthrow that thing.
I too was amused by the giant space void, especially the description: “Space is an empty void. But one part is even emptier and more void-ish than the rest.”. That is the most accurate description for Cheney’s blood-transport system that I have ever heard.
As to “University Update,” I sent them an email threatening to report them to Google as a splog. They got all huffy, sent me back an email saying that they weren’t a splog but some other equally repulsive web-form, and promised, nay, threatened never to link to me again. I said that not linking to me would be great and, lo and behold, they stopped. I think calling them a splog did the trick.
My platform is almost always made of strenthened metal extruded waffle deck, so it is sturdy and unwavering, even when trod upon by Moose.
It is supported by the finest, Canadian made Molsen-free vertical reinforcing emu feathers, which will find even foot-webbing in the midst of an MT Void.
If your platform is not sturdy, you might as well be a circus clown. Sink Lettuce is PROUD of having a wilty platform. You couldn’t haave a Take5 candy bar without platform sturdiosity.
Extra Sturdy Platform Points if the are open toed, sandal type platforms. They’re a little femmy for me though.
curses.
That previous post was mine. Oh what a giveaway.
I’d bet it mskes even less sense in Tucker form. So maybe it’s More appropriate? ack. In either case, proper attribution is the hallmark of a website that refuses to fall to .49ass.
Although I will bet Tucker looks FABULOUS in strappy platform sandals.
He is my VP candidate in the Emu Unity ’08 party.
but you fail to answer a few burning(and not in the good way, either) questions:
what is your stand on baconated hot dogs? or bacon on bacon? what about your relationship with AIPAC? will you begin a BaconPAC? the nation needs to know about that very fattening pillar that your platform is on.
(and this from a vegetarian…)