[PP adds: You may have read about the values Voter Debate elsewhere, but 3B actually had a correspondent in the room- the Random Randroid!!!!]
Dear internets, a great thing is that P. Punko probably would have spontaneously combusted at the Values Voter debate. He would have shouted things from the audience and tried to ruin it for everyone. Yet unbeknownst to him, he did play a part in ruining it. I called him while they were singing “Why Should God Bless America?” so he could hear the words.
He couldn’t hear, but he did call back, and also sent me a couple of text messages. I had my phone set to VERY LOUD, and each time he called, it happened to be when the audience was quiet and some religious nut onstage (pre-debate) was talking. Everyone – EVERYONE – heard my cell phone each time it rang. Awesome. Nice job, P. Punko!
[PP adds: I seriously couldn't tell what the eff was going on, I felt like someone was either calling Cthulhu from the depths of unimaginable darkness, or maybe the Randroid was at some overly earnest elementary school program]
Anyway, we didn’t stick around till the end of the VV debate, but the straw poll results – as voted by the 340 hand-picked VV delegates (deleagtes picked by “social conservative leaders” who organized the debate) after the debate were as follows:
1. Huckabee 64%
2. Paul 12%
3. Keyes 5%
4. Brownback 5%
5. Hunter 4%
6. Thompson 4%
7. Tancredo 2%
8. Giuliani 1%
9. McCain 1%
10. Cox 1%
11. Romney 0%
Huckabee running away with it wasn’t surprising. He debated well and is a great candidate for this crowd. I don’t much like his views but his campaign has been impressive – he has the best shot of breaking into the top tier.
I didn’t think Paul had his A game at the debate, nor was on his “home field” with this social conservative base – I would have guessed he’d finish mid to low in this pack – his 2nd was surprising. I may have to re-evaluate my support for him.
As for Keyes and Brownback, how do you not kick Ron Paul’s ass in this venue? Granted Keyes just announced, but he is a brand name among the social conservatives, and he screamed really loudly about God the whole debate. I think Brownback should hang it up and Keyes should think about it.
One more comment is that Brownback and Keyes almost have to drop out now as a matter of principle. When Janet Folger (a debate organizer) was speaking pre-debate, she declared that tonight wouldn’t be just a regular debate and a regular straw poll – tonight God, via the delegates, would be revealing His choice.
And He did. As men of God, Brownback and Keyes should submit to His divine will and throw their support behind Huckabee.
Hunter didn’t do well but like Paul, he wasn’t on his home field, so if he’s stayed in so far, he may as well keep going. Tancredo and Cox weren’t on their home field either, and I must say I like the two of them better than Huckabee, Keyes, or Brownback – but they lost to Fred Thompson, who didn’t even show up. And that’s sad. They should probably call it a day too. But I will still go to a Tancredo event if Nutter invites me.
A couple more highlights from Values Voters:
The biggest applause lines of the night were interesting. Was it when Janet Folger said God would be revealing His choice tonight? How about one of the times Keyes thundered about doing God’s work? Or maybe it was when Tancredo said that Bill Clinton brought White House morality down to the level of an alleycat. All well-received, but none of these were top 5.
Actually, the biggest applause lines came from people merely introducing themselves. A questioner shows up, “Hi, I’m Bobby Schindler” (Terry Schiavo’s brother). Big applause.
“Hi, I’m Judge Roy Moore”. Very, very big applause. “Hi, I’m a formerly gay man who was saved by Jesus….” Massive applause.
But the surprise winner was before he debate even started, when a man walked on stage and said, “Hi, I’m Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle. THUNDEROUS spontaneous applause. And the man is a Democrat in a Democrat town. Say what you will about the VV audience, you can’t call them blindly partisan – they don’t care if there’s a D or an R after your name, if you stick a finger in the eye of the homosexual community, they love you.
[PP adds, isn't Naugle worried about robotic toilets defying their masters and turning us all into batteries or something??]
A very sad element was that it seemed a lot of audience folks didn’t show up. You had the VV delegate area in the mid-quality seats, you had the upper deck seats for the riff-raff, then you had the VIP seats (where of course, we sat, having the ——- campaign seats). The VIP seats were virtually empty, sort of an embarrassment for the organizers, so pre-debate they had the riff-raff filter down to the VIP area make the venue appear more full. Janet Folger gave some pathetic explanation on stage – “well, some of the VIP people, ah, couldn’t make it, so we have a chance for some of you to move down, and that’s the way it should be anyway, you folks are the ones who matter.” Man, she was dancing hard. The whole event had fallen apart, and she was trying to save it. Fun to watch.
When the debate organizers issued a press release the next day, it referred to the “sold-out” or “seated to capacity” Broward Center for the Performing Arts, whereas the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel more accurately described it as about 2/3 full. And this is not a big venue, a few thousand seats max.
By the way, that guy who was saved by Jesus and has been happily married for all these years and says he “used to be” gay – he’s still gay. I’m just not sure if he knows it.
A fellow thinks public restrooms are an inappropriate venue for sex acts, and he’s accused of sticking a finger in the eye of the homosexual community. Self-righteous attitudes like that are what make it difficult to keep public discourse civilized. The public health implications of homosexual promiscuity are bad enough, but degrading the society by allowing anonymous sex in public restrooms is unthinkable. The homosexual community used to say, “Just stay out of our bedrooms.” Now, apparently, it’s also required that we stay out of our public restrooms too.
Evangelical Christians want to affirm and welcome homosexuals as children of God who are — like the rest of us — broken and in need of God’s healing. Insisting that we agree homosexuality is normal and that we approve of whatever behavior homosexuals wish to indulge in publicly is a violation of our rights of conscience and freedom of speech. God is very plain about homosexuality being a sin — just like the sinful behaviors that can be found in any of our lives. But you don’t solve the problem of sin by pretending that brokenness is wholeness.
Hi Mark, we don’t favor public sex acts, but we are more concerned about giant bathroom robots rampaging through the streets and flinging us into the air. You gotta have priorities.
I think the implications of heterosexual promiscuity are a bigger priority.
After all, you have all the same dangers – disease,destroying marriages, people having unsanctioned fun, etc… but you also add in the very real danger of babbies.
As well footprints on the dashboard upside down.
On a less snarky note, It’s hard to take your hand wringing about civilized discourse when the only way you are willing to discuss homosexuality is by calling it ‘sinful’ and ‘brokenness’. After all, not everyone subscribes to the edicts of your favorite imaginary friend, and trying to shame people not of your faith through a bully pulpit or through legislation is nothing if not intolerant.
I think the problem with keeping public discourse civilized is that we don’t speak out against self-righteous mecha-toilets. Don’t let political correctness control you! Speak out I say, before society is degraded even further!
i dont want to indulge in blasphemy after such a great cricket match, but jesus christ on a take5 bar… Mark, how can you be so dense?
I wonder why the homosexual community has been so marginalized as to have developed a culture of anonymous sex in public places? I can’t imagine why that would be! Especially when they place themselves into the mechanized maws of a hyper intelligent and malevolent entity, the robot toilet, it must be really bad.
I think the GayKK planted a rainbow flag in Mark’s lawn and made his house fabulous. God hates fabulous.
What if the robot toilets develop feelings for each other and start having sex in public? What kind of message will that send to smaller, more programmable robots? Do we have a plan in place in case of rampant, runaway robot toilet sodomy?
For $250,000, how can Mayor Naugle assure the public that parts of recycled Xboxes won’t be used to create this robotic toilet?
The last thing we need is cross-over from Destroy All Humans infecting the robotic bathroom eye, a la Jurassic Park.
Nice sarcasm, PP.
To be even less civil, when it comes to the freedom of my fellow human beings, I see no reason NOT to object to bigots and moral scolds such as this Mark fellow whenever I can, in the loudest, most foul terms I can.
Theirs is the standpoint of hatred, regardless of theri professed ‘love for the sinner’. Theirs is the path of intolerance and exclusion. Mark is the one who is cherry picking and selectively interpreting lines from a book, one which has no legal standing in America and one which has no moral standing outside of their own limited and narrow god-bothering club.
It is no accident that all the same arguments were used to try and prevent freeing the slaves, and providing equal rights to african-Americans and women; The same urge to power over fellow humans and self-righteousness led to the Inquisition. The mindset that is willing to shove homosexuals back into the closet is based on fear; fear of inadequacy turned to fear of the Other; but underlying it all, fear that all humans meay REALLY be equal, rather than one’s chosen sect being God’s Most Special Friends.
And, to join in the spirit of the rest of the commenters, Mark Kelly is an emu; or rather would be one, if he had evolved enough to have feathers. Fortunately, an emu-proof bathroom stall is easy to make.
I will say that I am against public restroom sex regardless of the type of sexual act happening: male/female, male/male, Coulter/Hannity.
I feel sad for Mark. At some level, people really do desire some sort of harmony in the world, but what they really want is conformity because they can’t explain or except that our world is not perfect nor will it ever be. So they need to resort to our living in some sort of fallen circumstance because they are too depressed about our reality lacking some “deeper” meaning.
Brando and Kathleen seem to be the experts on cybernetic restroom sex—-
I find myself wondering: How, exactly does one sodomize a toilet?
Is it anything like sodomizing a piano?
Mecha-toilets would obviously cause national security problems, providing one more thing for invading alien robots to disguise themselves as. It’s bad enough that they can be disguised as the governor of California. The body politic needs to adopt a wide stance in opposition to mecha-toilets
a properly designed mecha-toilet could be a boon to mankind.
Think! It could pass the time with idle chit-chat while you do your business. It could analyze your effluent, inquire after your health, maybe suggest you lay off the bacon once in a while and eat some greens, although not sink lettuce. Maybe a Ghost Melon once in a while.
wide stance, narrow stance, even one footed: It could reach the areas you can’t ensuring that you are clean as a whistle and presentable.
And it could Service Republicans so they wouldn’t have to degrade themselves in public toilet rooms at airports anymore. Maybe a few words of encouragement and kindness to help the poor souls accept their true selves and eventually come out, making themselves and others happier and more comfortable.
It might even shine your shoes and clean the wax out of your ears.
Then, when you’re done, it can remove itself and go to the harvesting truck, where it’s contents are stored,segregated and shipped to the freeze-drying plant to be turned into Soylent Brown.
The Cycle of Life! It is a glorious future, truly!
also, is it just me, or is it hard to reconcile this statement: Self-righteous attitudes like that are what make it difficult to keep public discourse civilized.
with THE ENTIRE SECOND PARAGRAPH OF YOUR RESPONSE????
i mean that is the esact definition of self-righteous you will find outside the vatican.
and the concept of mechanized robotic sex toilets, while dystopian, may just earn some big bucks at your favourite
arms dealerdefense contractor. some more billions to piss away on caviar and champagne!!You’ve doing a great job of proving my point, billy. It’s shameful and intolerant for me to view homosexuality as sinful brokenness, but OK for you to refer to my deity as an “imaginary friend.” You probably have that double standard neatly rationalized too.
And, yes, the public health implications of heterosexual promiscuity are more serious, but that doesn’t mean homosexual promiscuity shouldn’t be taken seriously too.
You’ve done a great job of proving my point, billy. It’s shameful and intolerant for me to view homosexuality as sinful brokenness, but OK for you to refer to my deity as an “imaginary friend.” You probably have that double standard neatly rationalized too.
And, yes, the public health implications of heterosexual promiscuity are more serious, but that doesn’t mean homosexual promiscuity shouldn’t be taken seriously too.
Mark, does this mean we are equally hypocritical? We don’t currently advocate legislation based on your deity concerning the lifestyles of other humans, yet you most likely do. Therefore even though BP thinks you are full of delicious and savory gumbo, he’s not gonna eat you based on your great flavor. You are free to think whatever you would like about gays, based on whatever superstition you deem Holy, but if you advocate that religious-based intolerance be institutionalized, you are going to have a big problem.
You also appear to have extra special sin rankings where the eating of various scallopz and oysterz, and frankly most of Leviticus, takes a big old backseat to gay panic. We don’t understand the world the same way the Gospels do, we have a much greater understanding of what it means to be human and where sexual orientation comes from. Maybe you can drop the public health based BS bashing gays and decide to join the 21st century. I won’t mock your religion, except where you ask for it. Because the alternative is that I will just invent a Church of Gay, and you will be deemed disrespectful of its sacraments. You just aren’t traveling down a winning road here.
Do we have a plan in place in case of rampant, runaway robot toilet sodomy?
I don’t think they have the plumbing for that, if you know what I mean…
Mark, you can NOT has cheezburger.
They’re broken.
“I don’t think they have the plumbing for that, if you know what I mean…”
Does this mean we get to call the bidet the ‘freedom toilet”?
Oh, PP and Mark.
perhaps this clip can put an end to your food fight?
Season to taste, Mark.
Theists have a great way of interpreting other people’s disbelief in their chosen superstitions to be repression.
Mark, you believe what you want. My beliefs are also my own, Pinko’s are his, and my gay friend is entitled to his own also.
It just so happens in the case of the latter three, our beliefs do NOT involve demonizing and ostracizing others just because of what makes them satisfied and happy sexually. AND we don’t try to force our own versions of that on each other.
That’s called a puralistic society, and like it or not, that’s what we have for the most part in America. Except where you and your ilk are determined to enforce conformity with your narrow opinions.
Gay people do not want your approval or your ‘saving’. If they’re part of your religion, well that’s their decision and their problem; myself, i don’t understand why a person would want ot be part of a group that hates and wants to destroy them, like squirrels who want to be part of a dog pack. But there are African-American Republicans too. Go figure.
It’s been said that your freedom to swing your arms ends where my nose begins. Making you keep your religion to yourself does not constrain your ability to practice that religion.
Does this mean we get to call the bidet the ‘freedom toilet”?
genius.
Keep on flushing in the free world!
PP, can you please invent your Church of Gay and then appoint Res Publica an archbishop? He will not tolerate any insolence!
I think the Church of Gay is heading for a gigantic Schism. I can’t wait for Res and I to excommunicate each other over the Holiday Bake Off. Also, the Church of Gay is like reform Judaism, you don’t have to be Gay to be in charge, at least in my orthodox reform sect. I don’t know about those other branches.
Hey.
Right now, there’s a poll over at Instaputz on who should replace Norbizness as the Left….serv as Left Pro Tem, as it were.
http://instaputz.blogspot.com/2007/09/new-left.html
Right now, you guys are WAAYYY behind Ann Althouse.
Guess you’re too partisan.
“What if the robot toilets develop feelings for each other and start having sex in public?”
Ok- I realize this may have been brought up already, but I was laughing and growling too much while reading the above…
Is it ok if it’s a men’s room going after a women’s room? Brando, you’re not advocating men’s room on men’s room sex are you? No urinal on urinal, right?
No urinal on urinal, right?
Unless you are a Republican.
Is it ok if it’s a men’s room going after a women’s room?
Not unless you are a California Republican.
I really don’t approve of this kind of potty humor.
Excuse me UC, but AG is going to be Archibishop of said Church. A nice Jewish AB. Don’t you dare try to take that away from AG. I will so start a smear campaign.
As for Mark, AG doesn’t care where anyone sticks it or who you worship. Frankly, stick it in anywhere you want except in my boyfriend. Because he’s mine! Just live and let live. Let’s focus on the bigger issues like global warming and senseless killings in Africa, Iraq and other places around the world.
And Mark, as someone who has an actual degree in public health — you are totally wrong. I would request that you refrain from making a blanket statement about homosexuality and public health woes.
RR: I am disappointed you totally posted here. AG loves that you yank PP by not posting. You gotta stand tall, brother! Fight his whiney phone calls and pissy e-mails about blogging. Get up, Stand up, Fight for your right to not blog!
Snag: have a moose burger and calm down, baby face.
And finally Pinko, I resent your casual comments about Reform Judaism. I call kosher cobag on that one.
AG, I learned it from Mark- check out his bloggo. Actually I should have gone after conservative Judaism- according to UC, they are all atheists.
The only times the e-mails are pissy are when the subject line reads: “AG shenanigans”
BAN!-AN-ARAMA!
UC is full of crap. How does he explain Rabbi Barth? You should know by now you cannot listen to him when it comes to Jewish questions.
Pinko: you just cost yourself my truce.
I hope it was worth it!
You are now on your own.
BP told me to say that. Is he banned?
Is it ok if it’s a men’s room going after a women’s room? Brando, you’re not advocating men’s room on men’s room sex are you? No urinal on urinal, right?
Robot bathrooms are all male because they have flush handles. That is why they do not exist in organic form — they cannot reproduce.
I’m also going to start my own sect of Catholicism, Opus Lei. It will combine all the fun things about Catholicism — exorcisms, pipe organs, and transfiguration — with sex outside of marriage and/or the confessional.
3B is up to 2nd place in the poll for who should be The Left. Sadly, we still have only half as many votes as Althouse. This may have something to do with the usual 3B predilection for half measures…
If only we had started the Church of Gay a little earlier. Or our bishops had pointier hats. Which vibrate.
3B!: bringing new meaning to the term “bishoprick”.
“Robot bathrooms are all male because they have flush handles.”
Well, I find that incredibly discriminatory! I think I am going to sue and force my city to install bathrooms that have toilets that flush by insertion! Or, for that matter, we can just go back to standing over a hole.
Brando- would Opus Lei use a cockring as opposed to a cilice?
I have ceased to understand what you are talking about. I find it crude and tasteless. As The New Left, I must take a stand.
Actually, as the New Left, you must take a seat, preferably on one of those robot toilets.
Actually, Jennifer, we can go back to the old fashioned ladies urinals.
A robot toilet will be the throne of The New Left, and a cockring our crown.
Robot bathrooms are androgynous because they usually have infrared flush sensors these days.