After twenty-four centuries hours of providing spiritual sustenance and sanctuary for Inhabitants and Friends of Gay, the Second Antinomian Church of Gay (Western Testement) has fallen into chaos and disarray. Discord even.
Third Under-Deacon of the Bacon Vestry Pinko Punko, the Church’s highest ranking cleric, was heard saying: “I have ceased to understand what you are talking about.”
One witness thinks this was in reference to the rumored attempt to have Fred Phelps declared Ur-bishop of the Church. An attempt which supposedly fell through once someone realized that Phelps could not be verified as an Inhabitant or Friend of Gay.
Another witness claimed that Under-Deacon Pinko referred to a recent incident in which sentient mecha-toilets invaded the sanctum of the New Über-Temple of the SAC of Gay (WT) where they proceeded to cavort shamelessly and make off with the sacred vibrating pointy hats.
It was hoped that Res Publica, Pontifical Cookie Sexton of the Second Antinomial Church of Gay (Southern Testement, Undescended), might be persuaded to assume the Holy Cockring of Antioch and thus solve the crisis by reuniting the two Testements and restoring a unified SAC of Gay. However, he could not be found for comment though it was apparent that whatever he was doing, he was doing as hard as he could.
Apparently the only hope for the SAC of Gay (WT) is for Under-Deacon Pinko to defeat the evil axis of Alth0use to officially become The Left. In the words of one SAC of Gay acolyte: “Go! Vote Three Bulls! Fly, my pretties! Fly!”
Res Publica, Pontifical Cookie Sexton of the Second Antinomial Church of Gay (Southern Testement, Undescended)
I can’t wait for the tee shirt.
I think it’s because of the overlap with the Church of the Mouse and Disco Ball: http://pandagon.blogsome.com/2007/05/18/brimstone-and-cat-spit/
Which, while you splitters argue about who is repressing wh, has broken new ground in same-sex marriage, already has a martyr, and making the chocolate-covered bacon a sacrament.
No wonder you guys are losing to Ann Althouse.
Just two more tales in the long saga of half-assedness.
I for one find the new sacrements proposed by the mecha-lav contingent (urinal wafers and eau de toilette) to be most disagreeable, though not as disagreeable as egg salad.
the Holy Cockring of Antioch
Ah the Holy Cockring, first created by Peter the Eunich when he rescued Antioch from the Rashy-bum Caliphate (who conquered Antioch in the Battle of the Iron Wang). I thought that was lost during the epic cockfights of the first crusades, when BohEMUnd’s allies betrayed Antioch (sp: Anticock?).
Has the Church of Gay bottomed out? Interesting, if true.
I can’t figure out why we need a replacement Left. Norbizness isn’t dead, he’s just not blogging, which leaves him even more time than before for the abortionating etc duties of The Left
If the Left performs abortions in a forest and no one is around, does it even happen? I ASK YOU!
How like The Left to not only want to perform abortions, but to want to do so in unsanitary conditions out in the wild.