Let’s Play Snag

As you know, Snag’s persona (the disgusting one, not the Knuteman Rocknefeller Curmudge-dad with a heart of Golden Grahams) pre-emptively takes all my ideas. He always adds his little fluorishes like weasel testicles and what not. Anyway, why don’t we play a little Snag’s Product Endorsements in commentos.

18 Responses to “Let’s Play Snag”


  • Oh crap. The only things I could come up with were:

    “Sparkling Milk- Naturally carbonated from Bessie™”

    and

    “Tasmanian Mink Fart, a scent for him!”

  • It looks like nobody is coming out to play. I guess you’ll just have to take your Snag and go home!

  • Hair Club for Møøse, he’s not just the president, he’s a client.

  • Smoked Human Leg. It’s What’s For Dinner.

    (from a Snagling)” My Dad. He’s always there for me, taking me to soccer practice, buying me second-rate shoes, whatever.

    “And then drinking bourbon with the other parents, while telling them about eviscerating rodents until they won’t let me play with their kids anymore.

    “No kidding, he’s ALWAYS there. We can’t have a minute to ourselves. Doesn’t he have a job or something.

    “My Dad. I Think I’ll keep him. In a Home.”

  • Porcushmere!

    Is it a prickly, luxurious fabric or a meaty cracker spread from the forest? IT’S BOTH!

  • “Cadavers by Snag. Place your Thanksgiving order now.”

    “Snag’s Chili Dogs. Made with real dog!”

    “Are you ready for psychotropic drugs? Ask your physician about Snag’s Lithium Blend, now available in French vanilla and muskmelon flavors.”

    “Still Life With Roadkill, the new fine art collection by Snag, The Painter of Blight.”

  • “Snag. For all your forgetting to change the default name needs.”

  • Femur — Snag’s bone-marrow-flavored jerky. “Snap into a Femur!”

    Taxation With Liquidation: The Snag Guide to Drinking on the People’s Dime.

  • Snag’s County Cookbook: Pushing the Boundaries of Pickling

  • Jazz up your denim, cotton, or silk clothing with the Besnaggler. Imagine your favorite denim jacket decorated in elaborate patterns made from teeth, pieces of bone, and dried entrails. Just pop the animal parts into the Besnaggler and pop them into place. Wow your friends with that Elvis pattern on your quilt made entirely of possum liver. Imagine a deer eye belt. Real fishbone tweed.

    Call now, operators are standing by.

    Some dessication required.

  • Besnaggler!!!

    I can’t wait for the Snag-o-matic.

  • Snag-o-tron Mecha Toilet.

    I am afraid of the possibilities of this.

  • OH MY GOD I WANT THAT COOKBOOK!

  • “Snag’s Borscht Puffs- they beet your milk into a purple burst of flavor, now with sour cream marshmallows”

  • Yum, Borscht Puffs. The heavenly taste sensation of root vegetables, fish broth, and creme de menthe.

  • “Ayayayay! I’m Cossack for Borscht Puffs!”

  • Lact-o-Snag RoboMilker. Very versatile. It can sneak up on dangerous wolverines, roam the seas in search of a minke whale, or batch process six thousand shrews.

  • I think that I have one of those in my junk drawer. Must be the deluxe model as it has a calculator and corkscrew built in.

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