We’ll accept M&Ms, comments, candy, insults, whatever you have that can make this blog go. We won’t ask for moolah, because that would require a contractual obligation for full ass, that we contractually cannot allow.
For a pledge of 3 comments: We will link to Matthew Yglesias wholesale.
For a pledge of 5 comments and an unfullfilled pledge of peanut M&Ms, we will complain about the fact that someone is obviously pushing us to talk about biofuels. We will pointedly repeat the passive-aggressive post- BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!
For a pledge of 7 comments, we will scour the internets day and night to point out instances of people complaining about how we run our own damn blog and bring you this deeply interesting commentary.
For a pledge of 9 comments, we will delete you or anyone else from our blogrool. Also, we will add your blogrool to our blogrool.
For a pledge of 5 insults, we will cherish your words and accept admonishment.
For one comment deleted, we will disrespect you forever until the time comes for us to forget about you possibly being a hypocrite of the highest order, and we will forgive you.
For several comments deleted and a multiple banning, we will wage an eternal war against your 2.0 Blog empire.
For forcing us to register to comment on your stupid blog, we will never comment there and will will nurse a strong dislike, inside club first name basis, of course.
For a pledge of 11 comments or services rendered, we will allow you to cob log, unfortunately that makes you a cob logger!
For a pledge of 17 comments and a pledge to not render services, we will post the giant Take 5.
What else should we have on our pledge board? We’re here to serve you, just as we serve Man.
What do I get for a pledge of no comments?
uhhh….oops.
Can I pledge 18 half-assed comments, be added to the blogrool, then removed from the bloogroll?
No?
what if I’m just looking for melon sex?
What do I have to do for a Klondike Bar?
you need a sponsor to match pledges.
Oh my gawd! The possibilities are endless! What do I get if I pledge comments, candy, and bad illustrations?
Name Your Own Price- You’re the Negotiator!
I just called you a Shatner.
I thought you did! I’m a Bullshatner.
What do I get for a pledge of allegiance to our robot overlords?
For a pledge of 6.3 comments and waving the cursor over the paypal button, you will get to guest post Open Threads and Youtube videos and sign them “not-Pinko.”
For clicking on a Bullseton BlogAd(d), we will make a “joke” about receiving email offering US$12,000,000 from Kenya. Oh, have you heard that one already?
For pledging a half eaten Take 5 bar (Take 2.5), we will let you imagine what it is like to barbeque on our roof.
For a pledge of 5 comments, you can take the over on how many jobs were added this month.
For pledging 50,000 comments you can polish MenD’s curling stone. At least that is what I think he meant.
This is all so complicated. Can I just send money instead?
UC will do anything not to post and/or not comment.
How many comments for a photo of UC’s frolicsome eyebrows?
I pledge allegiance to 3Bulls!, and to the comments for which it stands, one emu under God, half-assed, with liberty and bacon for all.”
And that is why we love Snag.
snag.. your comment is lacking in whiskey and rum.
I PLEDGE 10 insults, 45 .25ass comments and refuge in the warmth and generosity of the indian republic should the Feds come for you bad boys.
For a pledge of a pledge, can I get no comment?
For a pledge of 3-5 half-assed posts unfairly disparaging other commenters, MD gets trampled by a herd of moose drunk on power and fermented apples, while Dick Cheney reads excerpts of “Liberal Fascism, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Weighted Companion Cube.”
Daily. Until the fundraiser ends.
Any takers?
Oh, and note to fish: it’s eight stones per team. Try not to think about that.
I think this is where I say BUBBLE TEA.
How many pledges does it take to get a free can of Pledge?
I pledge one guest post Delish or Disgusting. check your e pinko.
How much for thirty-seven posts per week about how horribly the economy is about to crash, joyously and cacklingly written?
I pledge a lifetime supply of captain crunch and pineapple.
I pledge a lifetime of half-assed 3B’s bric-a-brac if you show up for Project Runway live-blogging. I know it won’t be “live” on your coast, but you could still comment…
I pledge that I will make pledge about pledging in exchange for a pledge from a person willing to pledge an interesting pledge that I pledge that I might be able to pledge that I like.
I PLEDGE TO CONTAMINATE ALL WASHROOMS
O NOES! The leafy menace returns!
What, are you Canadian, sink lettuce??? Washrooms???
We can clearly rule out Boston lettuce at this point.
Whilom, as olde lettuce tellen us
Heere pledgenneth thee menaces
British iceberg lettuce, my old nemesis. I should have known …..
For the record, that lettuce does not speak with a Canadian accent.
At least, not a Western Canadian accent.
In the watercloset dead Sink Lettuce lies dreaming.
Omnia Res Blogica in tres chundromuffnes divisa est
lettuce sink into pipe dreams