We have recently received complaints that there has been no ombudsmøøse posting in quite some time.
This has now been rectified, and my wages confiscated in punishment.
Otherwise, given the lack of complaints (or even unfunny remarks) regarding the site, we are left at something of a loss as to what to include in this column. Fortunately, your humble omubdsorganism has a few words to say of his own. To wit:
1) We have, in the past, noted the lack of discussion on Song of the Day, Delicious or Disgusting and Celebrity Dream Cameo. It occurred to this writer that perhaps adding comments from those posts to the comment sidebar on the main page might make people more aware and receptive to the discussions going on at those subsites. We submit this suggestion for debate and feasibility of implementation by the php gnomes.
Also, your new neolgism of the day is: disgustamaliciously grossomaddictive. Use it wisely.
2) Related to the above, it appears that the awesomeness of the DorD has produced some competition, which smacks of pandering and sensationalism. I hereby recommend that we inititiate COBAGITATION ACTION to deal with this threat to 3Bulls, Inc. hegemony. Please add your suggestions in comments. Their peanut-butter-and-mangosteen-soda milkshake must be drunk! And rated!
3) We would like to reassure the readership that the recent disagreements between certain proprietors of this site will in now way affect the rigorous editorial standards maintained here. In fact, we find it heartening that the Nü Left is willing to give a platform to the small but vocal minority of cyborg-Libertarian-Americans. However dimished they may be in mass, they have made up for it in gravitas and money saved on tuxedo rentals.
Also, despite known silicon (note spelling before joking, please) sympathies the commentariat provided ample encouragement, suggestions, and self-deprecating humour. The ombudsory antlers are positively glowing with pride.
Any other business? Comments below or emailed to mendaciousd at gmail dot com, especially about how I’m late with this post. Have at it!
SCANDAL!!!1111!!@!twentytwo!!!
3bulls found grazing at dawn when they should be blogging half-assedly!!!
I CAHLLENGE YOU TO TELL ME WHY YOU SHOUld EAT AT ALL!
Finally! Someone to hear my complaint.
A word problem:
If Pinko Punko makes a request
And I’m the only one who responds
And he ignores it
How many lashes should he get?
The mists! I am surrounded!
Oh, BG. When did PP make any request?
There have been suggestions mayhaps.
often emulated, never sequeled.
Often emu-lated, never sequined.
I have a serious complaint: no one is writing senseless haikus.
Ombirdspersonmoose
I gall the brad on a stick
Amity knows prawns.
DOOM OF MANDOS say:
judge not the pork, nor snorkel
lest the emus bite
I prefer limericks.
A poetic blogger dubbed Mandos
always wore Orange like Brand Kos.
He was a Canuck
the back bacon he took,
a tastier breakfast than bland O’s.
Some while ago, an ombudspersonmoose
was summoned to find out what cooked 3Bull’s goose.
Ideas were proposed,
DOOM OF MANDOS got hosed,
but at least common sense didn’t get loose.
Alternate Kathleen endings:
but at least Kathleen showed up, forsooth.
but at least Kathleen brought us Vermouth.
but at least Kathleen showed us some couth.
but at least Kathleen didn’t take the ‘juice’.
but at least Kathleen saw through our ruse.
Song of the day
still thinks my comments are spam
Am I full of meat?
Brando:
Fished your comment out.
I don’t know why Spam Karma
thinks you ill repute.
MenD was in a terrible spot
serious pants were all tied in a knot
ombirdspersonmoose
was in fear of the noose
for submitting a post he had not.
These haikus and limericks are not senseless!
Blue wrote oxen on the caboose
And then Johnny brought laughing spruce
The swimming rode bling
And you chose to sing
And swallows made hoola hoops deuce.
The Ombudspersonmoose does not submit! He has complete editorial control!
(Sort of like Christopher Hitchens, but with less scotch, chain-smoking, and waxing of nether regions)
I once read this blog on Nantucket
half-assed? there is no way to duck it
then yr ombudsman pants
does his so happy dance
the audience at large? we can suck it!
See, I just need to let the posts marinate a bit, and then we are in business.
Marinate in what, a pomegranate vinaigrette infused with hooker juice?
a pomegranate vinaigrette infused with hooker juice
sounds pricey