Before Saying Yes was even Thinking Maybe.
Before Circle Jerk at the Square Dance was even 1 Degree of Arc of Impure Thought of Hokey Pokey
Before Blue Girl Red State was even Off White Eye Twinkle
Before Oakland Dilettante was even something even more less than even more
Before Befouled was even Besmirched
Before Empire of the Senseless was even A Hovel of the Mildly Perturbed
Before annieangel even met Shoelimpy™
Before Freelance Genius was even a Contract Worker of Average Intelligence
Before doop HQ was even an oop and a Q? (come on)
Before Chrome Beach was even a Foilwad Sandbox
Before Really Small Fish was even Tiny Fry
Before the universe gave birth to the earth in a horrendous, silent and improbable labor. Back in time, where poop shooters were musical, and the Canadian Curling Association was denounced in hilarious and appropriate moderation, where Ketchup chips were dared and dreamed. While antimatter was still selfishly engaging in an unforgivable and obtuse quest to annihilate all matter, there were Three Bulls! and The Republic of Dogs. Even though the former could be described as a delightful and exuberant collection of je ne sais quoi, and the latter encased in a design style that could only be described in polite circles as “Mount Trashmore on a Trashy Triscuit.” Not content to simply exist, these early formed particles of matter set out on a parallel path of constant degradation and ritual denunciation of creamy lovers, overheard buffoons, and various flim-flam artists. They grew up into the greener pastures that you now know. Holiday baking was in fact dared. Controversy during such was courted, and even bed down in ways unseemly to prevailing mores. Blue girl was declared an unlikely winner. All was not right in the universe, yet it strangely was. Times have since changed. We are no longer safely ensconced in our onesy jammies with the sleeper footies. We recognize change, and while it chafes, burns, itches, etc. we are unable to reject it.
It has been requested that Mr. Pinko Q. Punko and possibly but no way proven related Capt. Trolly Q. Pants, Esq. no longer comment at or even about Republic of Dogs. Instead of being anathema to our very souls, we instead sadly recognize that an era has come to a close. No more comments at or about Republic of Dogs. We note for the record and for posterity that battle raps do not fall under the provenance of the current decree and shall proceed accordingly.
May you all eat it in peace.
First let me say that *I* was there at the beginning too. Please read those comment threads at those links for proof. (Which were so unbelievably hysterical I was crying and really, really sad at the same time.)
Also. This is the first time I’ve connected the “ice cream cone” thing. LOL!
Doesn’t matter too much, I guess. Since you’ve taken my RSS Feed thingy down. Cobag.
And also…I’m not sure how to put this…this post breaks my heart if it’s true.
Well, at least I have material for a post now…
“Foilwad sandbox.” Heh.
I have never composed a battle rap before, having a rare genetic variant of Spasmodic Dysphonia, which prevents me from rhyming anything, even something as simple as obsequious with conspecious. It is tragic.
Nevertheless, this cannot stand. I join my cob-logger in horrified pathos and as such will fight back the only way my tendon-less musculature will allow. This is not over. This is not even under.
BG, you know that is because your RSS feed is screwed up, don’t you?
COME ON.
Jesus fucking Christ. Do I have to mediate this shit or what? Can I get a Geenie Cola permission slip to visit the Punko residence and layeth the smacketh down uponeth the heathens?
Time for an intervention, chunderhumps. Let’s put two heads together like a pair of coconuts.
Sigh.
some things will never change.
Time to get the magic mushroom and power ME UP.
Chuck, that depends, are you gonna roll over like plover in clover in Dover, or are you just drop a super poorito on our porcelain? Because GC ain’t having that. Also, you will have to vacuum your own wang this time.
Can’t wait for the Battle Rap of the Republic of 3B’s. It will layeth the smackdown.
PP, I’ve been reading those old posts and comments over at the old RoD. What a treasure trove! Internets gold!
Wonder where Jedmunds went?!
BG, you know that is because your RSS feed is screwed up, don’t you?
COME ON.
Uh huh…
I feel another video coming on.
wait, you forgot entirely about fuzzy words? i had my own website and everything? you really really forgot about that?
HOW COULD YOU, PUNKO!!!! I TRUSTED YOU!@!
This goes back ever farther than Pinko described:
Before Song of the Day was even Tune of the Moment
Before Delicious or Disgusting was even Moderately Tasting Morsels
Before Celebrity Dream Cameo was even Dick and Jane Daydreams
Before Words of Wisdom was even Punctuations of Ennui
Before Last Jexter Sighting was even Recent Fafblog Post
Before WordPress was even Periodtouch
Before Plover was even a hatchling
Before Gregor Samsa was even Greg H.
Before Yosef even had children
Before Professor Booty was even Postdoctoral Booty
Before Captain Trollypants was even First Lieutenant Trollyslacks
Before Geenie Cola was even Geenie Cacao Bean …
Before Randroid dreamed of elector libertarians?
Before yourpirateoverlord was even our moderately rebellious comrade.
Before Outside the Tent was even a Inside the World.
Before the Nutter was even a tiny bit of a dittohead. No, it has ever been thus.
Yeah, but was it before the Great Orange Satan was just the kinda good tangerine balrog?
Nah, GOS, was the Ok kumquat moderate. Cob logging with Althouse.
Before Fuzzy Words were even Declarative Thoughts
And FYI, I cannot believe you linked to Shoe/angel, and not to me. You really are a giant glass of OJ. I’ll be off crying in my corner.
Before mdhatter press was even Bald Spot Cave Scrawl.
Before Pinko Punko was even a Moderately Leftish Malcontent?
Truly, it is to weep.
Y’all are welcome at my meager joint, of course. Nobody ever gets banned there. except me, and that was just that one time. I swear I thought it was legal, Officer.
tyvm, I was just boosting your Bulls.
Before Pinko Punko was even Separate Red and White Kinks Fan.
Before this post was a post.
Before this comment was even a comment.
Before the internet had toobz.
Bef
Before bytes had bits.
Before meta was a Greek preposition.
Before that “Bef” post was a brilliant idea to demonstrate the “before” concept recursively.
Glad to see the Serious pants have completely come of the wheels of this Purple Spotted Snorklewagon.
Well serious pants have the sad and serious problem of being half-assless.
I think this has come up before, but aren’t half-assless pant just chaps? Are you wearing chaps, Pinko?
Red Chaps, certainly….
That really chaps my ass.
fish have asses?
Haven’t you ever seen one trailing a string of poop? Where else would it come from? fish ass, obviously, or pisces pooperius
It’s a delicacy in Japan.
true. But he’s so cheeky, I just can’t imagine it.
I’ll bet the under that this isn’t over.
Three B continues to roll. Battle rap style and otherwise.
3 Rolling Bulls.
A three-wheeled bull?
I have no idea what this thread was ever about, including the OP, since I never saw anything untoward going on a RoD.
But, of course, I did have to find photo of red worms protruding from a fish anus.
Can Mandos mention RoD in the comments or is it just Pinko that can’t mention RoD ANYWHERE!!??!
Of course, photos of red worms, etc, is just fine…
THAT IS NOT ME!!!!!
THAT IS NOT ME!!!!!
Don’t be embarrassed, fish. They make stuff for that now.
Half-chapped ass salve?
Easy now, chaps. Get a hold of yourselves.
Am I still allowed to mention spelling?
Can I use the word ‘winkle’? What about ‘strumpet’?
But fish-ass is ok. well, half-fish-ass, I guess.
I’m confused by the new rules.
We all are.
I would appreciate it is Mandos would not speculate where I am a character to such speculation. It might break the treaty obligations.
This place needs an ombudsfish.
Treaty shmeaty. I ain’t signed nuttin’.
Meaty treaty. Yum.
Of course fish have butts. Now you can eat that, too.
???
One of those fingers should be cloaked in righteousness, Monkey Dude!
Before 2?r = c
Everybody’s got something to hide
What is that? The pull my finger equilibrium? Mutual ass ured destruction?
half assured destruction
The weaponization of asstrophysics.
Semi-weaponized half-asstrophysics.
I’m in a correcting mood. Report me to the ombudspersonpants, see if I care.
Noted. Something should be up tomorrow.
Before grapefruit was an excuse for Pinko Punko to invent the chupacabra libel.
Wouldn’t that be the blood orange libel?
I miss Jexter.
Jexter really did have a thing for aa, didn’t he?
Jexter was fun. We were friends.
Before Frsit was First?
Before THYCWOTI was TLICWOTI?