Hello

Oh workwagon, let me take a break from you. Let me explore the wonder of the world of web logging, and cob loggers. I admit to being driven to distraction by the constant psephology coming from all angles, and have no wish to perform an idiot coup d’état declaring myself idiot strongman in charge of the idiots, while oddly only having the rank of major. Question, does the Libyan army have any generals? That would be a weird situation.

A couple of things, I was trying to come up with a fake Bad Religion song, but everything I tried was actually too good to sound even close. They are that terrible. Another thing is that I have a peefessional. It isn’t that terrible, but Iron Bladder was defeated tonight. There are only two films in this world where my instinctually awesome bladder management has been defeated. What’s that you ask? Well, it is the fact that I don’t normally need to ever do bladder management, it’s just that good. For example, I’ve only had to whiz on a plane once since I was 7, and the denominator is a relatively high n for trips?several hours. It turns out 6 glasses of water during spicy thai food pre-movie followed by giant cherry coke are not well timed enough to be pre-emptively pre-empted by a pre-emptive strike. With commercials and previews, plus most of film, I likely made it 2.5 hours. Sigh. In a way, some would claim that stadium seating is a disadvantage over the sloped floors of older theaters, but my peefessional is not too bad, I just got up and used the washroom.

Oh, the first movie this was this. The second (tonight’s) film was the awesome this. The Nutter reviews it here, and I think I agree with most of the points. Shock of shocks, the comedic salad dressing of the kid and the ape, so atrocious and chundernuggety in the unwatchable cartoon completely came to life and was the MVP of the film.

18 Responses to “Hello”


  • Bad Religion’s “Here’s the Chorus”

  • The Uncanny Canadian

    I’ll share my Grade 1 peefessional. I have at least 12.5 other peefessionals out there, so I’m not even using up my best material: First week of class, I have to use the washroom. I boldly get permission and head to where I’ve followed others into the washroom. Problem: I don’t know how to read yet. Oh, and did I mention that the labels are in HEBREW???!!!!! I wait in the hall a few minutes hoping somebody else goes in first, but the halls are empty. Time is ticking; I know my absence will soon be conspicuous. I choose a washroom. Hmm, that’s odd that there are only stalls, but nobody is in there, and I don’t know better. I go. And then the girls arrive. Well, from there the story is pretty typical. Let’s just say that you probably only get a free pass when you’re five years old. The next time I did that, there was waaaay more yelling.

  • Brando, the B-side is “First Line (Title)”

  • From the album You Can Make a Difference Today if You Take Immediate Political Action.

    UC, that’s a good story.

    I don’t really have any amusing peefessionals. Most of my unusual bathroom anecdotes involve some sort of passing out from inebriation, and if you’ve read one of those, you’ve read them all.

  • You are drunk, and when you are drunk you forget that I am in charge!

  • The Uncanny Canadian

    Am I the only one that remembers being illiterate starting Grade 1? I feel like everyone else in the world knew how to read. If only my parents gave me some kind of pre-school education, who knows what I might have been able to achieve academically.

  • I know I’m going to get stoned with Chocolate Skittles for saying this, but I really don’t like that movie. The 14-year-old D&D player in me loathes cute fantasy.

  • I thought “Grade 1” was the grade you were giving your peefessional.

    It makes much more sense now.

  • UC, I would love to validate you, but by the time I was five, I decided I wanted to be a paleontologist, based on my reading of My First Trip to the Dinosaurs, a book about a boy who visits the dinosaur exhibit at the museum.

    Of course, now I don’t know enough about biology to think of any good placenta recipes. Shows how much early reading helped me.

  • brando, I don’t think there ARE any good placenta recipes.

  • As Alice Waters always said, a good placenta doesn’t need a recipe.

  • I hadn’t realized placenta was a vegetable.

  • how do you tell the difference between a good placenta and the rest?

  • Color, texture, and it should smell ripe.

  • Just another protein substitute…

  • Gracias for the link, loser.

    By the way, where is that nice Randroid fellow, anyway?

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