It is too obvious, and needs only fictional support for the obviousness to be even more apparent than is already deeply obvious. I think we’re toast.
Observe the Conservapedia identifying the clotheslessness of the American Liberal, né Progressive.
Quoth Conservapedia: The style of a liberal often includes these characteristics:
1. Uses the term “controversial” to describe what he opposes (e.g., classroom prayer), but not to describe what he supports (e.g., theory of evolution)
C. I think Jesus Christ should be praised in our schools by all students, regardless of their personal beliefs.
L. That seems illegal, and controversial to boot.
C. [Does shocker gesture in mock surprise]
2. A lack of originality and a predominance of copying and imitating.
C. Hey check out this Malkin post with 500 trackbacks!
L. I agree with this digby post on a topic very important to me, the direction of our country.
3. Virtually never criticize hateful comments or behavior by a fellow liberal.
C. Why have you not commented about serious problems at Republic of Dogs?
L. I was unaware of such a post.
C. Your silence on this issue spe- er, is very telling.
4. Obsession with the media, and even the few conservatives in the media.
L. Why are David Brooks and Bill Kristol wrong all the time? Also, the entire network devoted to Conservatives, Fox News?
C. You want to have their babies. You sicken me.
5. Like to use the phrase “Silence Speaks Volumes”
L. Hey, are you going to respond to the contradictory nature of issues 5 and 7?
C. I’m not going to dignify that.
L. Whatever flo’s yer bo. Anyhoo, I’m going to this talk tonight, Joe Silence is going to do some readings from The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, entitled “Silence [muffled]…”
6. Call something disliked a “conspiracy theory,” but don’t use that term against wacky liberal theories like global warming.
C. So Sheman-dos and Gayvy Seals are infiltrating day cares making them gay cares and converting our children to Lt. Liberaces in their army of Sodom. Also are renaming the New England Patriots the New England Gaytriots.
L. Does that not seem far-fetched?
7. Respond with “sigh” when presented with repeated examples of harm caused by liberal culture, yet persist in denying the harm despite overwhelming evidence.
C. Rachel Carson killed more people than Pol Pot who was equally liberal. Also, Jimmy Carter stepped on a bug.
8. Thinking in terms of what someone likes or doesn’t like, or has or doesn’t have, or belongs or doesn’t belong.
L. Hey, I’m going to Dairy Queen for Blizzards, what does everyone want? Should I just get Reese’s for everyone? What? Pigpen is allergic? OK, I’ll get Heathbar for him.
9. Declaring that one is insulted as a response to an argument.
C. Liberalism is really just fascism. It also is Communism. Environmentalism is also Fascism. Isn’t it funny how all 20th century atrocities, including the Holocaust, are essentially due to civil rights and minimum wage legislation?
L. That’s kind of insulting.
C. Can there be no reasoned debate?
10. Unjustified claims of expertise, authority or knowledge.
L. Man did not ride on dinosaurs.
C. How do you know?
L. I KNOW.
11. Insistence on talking more and having the last word in a discussion or debate, or last wordism.
C. This argument is over.
L. You can’t just declare that unilaterally.
12. Attempting to portray conservatives as callous or uncaring; bait them into making insensitive remarks; falsely describing them as angry.
L. Look, here’s a bunch of stuff about how conservatives thought price gouging in the wake of Katrina was good a good way to distribute essential items to the trapped population. Also, here are a bunch of untrue things about murders and rapes and shootings. Also, a lot of stuff about the genetic inferiority of minorities and how immigrants are lepers.
C. I don’t choose to discuss any of that, but let me defend all those things anyway. Also, f8CK you you f84king f*4k f2ce. I hope you die deservingly of AIDS. And your entire family. You should be in a concentration camp.
L. Wow. Angrytime McGoo.
13. Calling others “extremist” or “racist”.
C. I think black people are genetically inferior. I also think Muslims should be deported along with Gays and 11 million Illegals. And income taxes are illegal.
L. That seems Rextremacist™.
14. An obsession with and exaggeration of artificial scarcity, such as wealth, rather than focusing on creating more.
L. Soon there will be no more Rhinoceroses and food for people without food.
C. Think about it, Liberal.
L. This is a hard one. Conservation, third world development, less waste?
C. Stone cold.
L. This is hard. Is it right in front of my face? Feed the starving people to the rhinoceroses, also bionic limbs and flying cars?
15. Ignoring or failing to recognize abstract concepts and denying obvious correlations between liberal beliefs and destructive behavior.
L. Wait, so G*d is all powerful, but only has power if I choose to believe in such, but if I don’t believe in such, then SATAN has power over me, but also I have free will, but how does that relate to Satan? Also, JC is a God and a Man and the same material as God, but God is totally without sin but man has sin and there’s also the Holy Spirit and they are three different exactly the same and indivisible things and this cracker turns a chunk of human flesh in my mouth. Maybe that could work for me, but I’m just going to go about my own stuff and you can do your stuff and we’ll just call it even.
C. If you don’t have God in your life you have no morals. Also, the world is exactly as it is described in the Bible, 6000 years old and the sun revolves around it. Also I heard about this woman that kept getting pregnant just to have abortions.
L. Uh, no, and that story sounds made up.
C. Last wordism at its finest.
16. Deny the obvious and embrace the implausible; see examples of liberal denial.
L. I don’t deny that a list of 12 things is not a list of 10 things.
C. So you deny to deny that you deny the rest of the list. Crickets are chirping, and their chirps belie an explanatory silence.
17. Attempting to appear smarter than others, when often the opposite is true.
L. I just don’t think people rode on dinosaurs. The fossil record is pretty clear on this.
C. Welcome to the land of the opposite is true.
L. You seem like a giant brainiac.
18. Attempting to appear more reasonable than others, when often the opposite is true.
L. I think it makes sense that people should have space for their own beliefs and to worship as they would like, while trying not to infringe on each other’s space or beliefs.
C. I’m not going to be tricked by your secret unreasonableness. I vote no. Need I remind you we reside in the land of opposite truth?
L. Capt. Brainwagon on the Braniac Patrol with Rocketpants! I am chastened.
C. Thank you.
OK, here are the rest, please handle as you might in comments in the above or your own preferred style. The best ones are the ones that are the most recursive, as usual.
Please do better than me in comments. The field is fertile and needs to be plowed. Give me your best comments. Only you know the depths of the liberal hive mind!