Thank You Lord

I’m too much of a crotchety pants to care two bits about college basketball, or anything in the world for that matter, right now. But my inner, different, secret self thinks that this is the best news of the day. Kevin Drum doing color commentary would be more exciting and lively than Billy Packer, a truly horrible, horrible announcer. I expect Brando will be baking a cake.

12 Responses to “Thank You Lord”


  • A nice comment from an ESPN reader:

    Ding! Dong! The witch is dead! Good riddance you crotchety, has-been piece of ####. They could replace this guy with Fran Drescher, Gilbert Gottfried, or even George W. Bush and I’d be happy about it. Every Final Four I’ve ever watched has been called by this #### who seems to hate the NCAA tournament itself. I feel like if he had his way the tourney would only invite North Carolina, Indiana, Duke, and UCLA every year. Goodbye you miserable, mid – major, Texas Longhorn hating, cantankerous, old ####.

  • Thank [YOUR DEITY HERE] for this. Packer was so smug and conceited he actually made it hard to enjoy the best sporting event of the year. They’ve replaced him with Clark Kellog, who has about as much personality as a baked potato, but at least he’s not annoying.

    I have no idea why they don’t have Verne Lundquist and Bill “With a little kiss!” Raftery as the main guys. Lundquist is a perfect play-by-play man and Raftery brings just enough Will-Ferrell-as-Harry-Caray to be entertaining while still adding something to the game.

  • I guess some people hate Raftery. I like him. Perhaps people are annoyed. Packer was the most uptight and critical piece of crap ever to announce a sport, other than the woman that does diving on the Olympics, but I kind of like her. She’s ruthless, and she never shuts up. Packer seemed like he hated basketball and that it was always supposed to be a certain way. A true failure at his job.

  • Agreed, and on top of that, Packer constantly pooped on small schools when most people watch the NCAA to see small schools pull the upsets. It’s funny that the 2008 tourney was his last, because it played right into his mentality when all the 1-seeds made the final four.

    Some people will always hate someone, but most of the most critical fans I know love Raftery. I can’t stand most sports announcers because they are either cobags like Packer, more literate versions of irritated sports talk radio callers (Joe Buck), or blathering, schticky idiots (Dick Vitale). Raftery seems like the real deal, because I don’t think someone could fake the stuff that pops out of his mouth (Onions! Jumbalaya!).

  • John Miller calling Orioles games was always my favorite.

    “Give that fan a contract.”

  • Oh, and Johnny Most!

  • “Give that fan a contract” was my favorite too. I always say that now. Yo’d be surprised how many situations you can work it into.

  • OK, this thread is kind of empty and it wasn’t about anything important anyway.

    So I would like to air to you a pet peeve of mine, which is the American habit of calling things that are clearly not square “Squares”. For instance, Times Square is clearly not a square. It isn’t even a somewhat rectangular approximation of a square like you commonly see in Europe. Or Harvard Square—as far as I can tell, it’s a triangle.

    Doesn’t anyone else feel oppressed by this?

  • Proof that Harvard square is, in fact, a square.

  • They are all designed as squares.

    But through zoning variances, Code changes, and contractor modifications, the actual built result will vary somewhat…

    Plus, it will be the wrong color.

  • Once it ceased to even resemble a square, they should rename it. For instance, Times Square should be called…Times Electronic Wasteland or something like that.

    And Harvard Square does not involve a right angle at any point. It’s clearly Harvard Scalene Triangle.

    And Central Square (going on the Cambridge theme) is neither Central nor a Square.

    At least the National Mall has storefronts on it! (Smithsonian gift shops, to be exact.) None of this “nanana it’s an archaic word”.

  • Times Opposing Acute Triangles of Electronic Consumerist Nightmarish Indoctrination?

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