We’re back in the saddle. Just have an unoriginal post in the form of the passed-on conversation between two apparently close friends/partners. This trope has been a staple/stand-by of the entertainment media for eons. It will be followed by an audience query/poll. Noted practitioners of the “funny story” or “anecdotal conversation” include BG, Snag, and Jennifer and their straight men and women
GC and I were outing and abouting as can be our weekendly wont. Since it was sun and fun, I proposed we hit the [unpaid product placement] for a soft-serve cone. Fine, my economic blackmail of the redacted corporation must falter in the face of a true confession- it was McDonald’s and I love their soft serve. The boys were riding in the back soaking in the sights. We did drive-through, but the cone producer was not yet a master, nay he or she was but an apprentice and the cones were lopsided and misshapen.
I made a snap decision that we would just park and eat them in the car because this was a mess that was waiting to happen.
I might go to town on my creamy lover, but I’m not going cause a traffic problem. Anyhow, even with the misshapen mess, McDonald’s ice cream is dispensed with convenient ridges so that one’s tongue might find purchase, instead of the frictionless spheroids of Dairy Queen’s product. If DQ’s serve weren’t served just so, any imbalance might lead to your tongue flying off the mark willy nilly.
GC: “Whoa, how are you eating yours so fast?”
PP: “I don’t want it to melt all over.”
GC: “And get the cone soggy?” [totally implied BG slam, I KNOW IT PP adds parenthetically]
PP: “I don’t want it to come to that, no.”
I look over and witness just pitiful technique.
PP: “You’re going the wrong direction. It’s just all wrong.”
GC: “What do you mean?”
PP: “You are going up and down. Go this way” [I exhibit the correct left to right, with a flourish at the end so as not to BG it- anything else is totally BGing it]
GC: “Like this?” [exhibits a right to left, no fluorish]
PP: “No, the other direction.”
GC: “Hey, did I cut myself?” (points at red spot on ice cream).
PP: “Not necessarily. It could be someone else’s blood.”
GC: “Eww. Come on.”
PP: “You never know. Could be.”
PP: “Did you cut yourself on the cone?” [Ice cream cone tongue cut. It hurts to think about it]
GC: “Loo ah ma tonhh- Ah didh”
PP: “Ow. You did.”
—–some more patter—–
GC: “Do you remember when kids had birthdays at school you were allowed to bring in treats?”
GC: “Actual baked goods? You know, that someone actually made?”
GC: “And it could even have a peanut in it because this was before everyone was allergic.”
GC: “Remember those cupcakes that were baked in ice cream cones, and had frosting and sprinkles to make it look like they were ice cream cones?”
PP: “Uh, no.”
GC: “What? What do you mean?”
PP: “I have never had what you are talking about. We didn’t have those. Did you have those?”
GC: “It seemed like almost everytime! And the stupid cone wouldn’t be crunchy anymore and it’s not an ice cream cone so stop trying to make it look like an ice cream cone because it’s just stupid.”
PP: “No seriously, how often did someone bring something like that?”
GC: “It seemed like every week.”
PP: “Are you sure it wasn’t one mom who brought them one time?”
GC: “YES. They were so stupid.”
PP: “We didn’t have those.”
I was going to throw this out to the public, but I see that Betty Crocker feeds the conspiracy.
Maybe GC got there first, check out this suspicious review:
I tried the recipe and I hated it. The cone was very tuff and like rubber I would never make them again. Unless you glue them down they keep tipping over. NOT GOOD