Our avian colleague admirably persists in provoking us to post, in this case on the tedious subject of grammar. Very well. The chimera that is the Ombirdspersonmoose presents the following for the Committee’s consideration:
In our inexpert opinion, 3Bulls! refers to this website (hereafter, the “blog”). Since authorship has changed somewhat since its inception, and in some cases continues to evolve, the argument could be made that no particular three bulls are wholly responsible for the content on the blog.
(We will also save our dear commenters the trouble of mentioning the possibility that no one wishes to be responsible for most of the content on the blog, and also that “content” may be a bit of a stretch in any case)
Since the current authorship/editorship comprises both discrete and overlapping characteristics, it could be argued that 3Bulls! is representative of a single gestalt entity, possibly for tax purposes, which may or may not divide into three recognizable parts. A Venn diagram might be useful, or a precise breakdown of percentages, but we suspect it would arouse the passions of certain non-partisan non-affiliates. Also, it is giving a portion of the (disputedly) human-ungulate-avian section of said entity a stinging headache that can only be remedied with gin, and possibly recusal.
We agree that any possessive form ought to include a suffixed apostrophe, despite aesthetic considerations, and that other punctuations such as commas should follow suit (see ass, half-). Consider the usage as applied to the band Against Me! or the British television series Chef! for further reference. English, in the words of the estimable Doghouse Riley, makes a poor cudgel. It is also, however, in our estimation, a reasonably functional colander, and this is how we shall employ it: straining meaning where possible, and finding new meanings where unintended.
We therefore leave this to the vivid imagination of the readers, and their aptly improvised grasp of theoretical grammar constructs. Other complaints, if any, may be sent to the usual address.
Serious, serious profession!
The disco remains in a state of Panic!. To the colander of meaning!!!
Oh, Cookie J, Gregor has been wearing it on his head.
Theoretical punctuation
Period table
Participle physics
What is the plural of bacon?
baci
Yum-meh. The anti-meh particle of flavor.
is it’s mirror particle is the meh-meh? or the bleh-meh?
its like the holy Trinity
Is the piscine version the mehi mehi?
You need to be careful to thoroughly cook mehi mehi in order to kill the salmonella.
or is that salmehnella?
The fact is, it would be “baca”, not “baci”.
As in, “I like to chew baca”?
Snag gets a double:
LOLLOL!!!
The fact is, the trinity that is 3Bulls! is one?
And I’m to understand that you do not use a wafer in your rituals, as you prefer bacon?
~
I think they sprinkle bacon bits on the holy cracker. Jennifer is a splitter and adds basil.
You betcha, baby! It’s holy hors d’oeuvres.
“To the colander of meaning!”
That felt a bit strained.
I thought it was grate.
Sorry, but I’m not one to mince words.
Things are getting dicey.
Choppy waters ahead of cabbage.
Your abruptness makes me blanch.
I will not stand for these cruditiés you utter.
The fact is, it’s back to the grind for me.
Crap, blown joke. That would be crudités
fish must be so steamed
Crap, blown joke. That would be crudités
I thought you meant crudeities.
Or perhaps he meant, P Cru Dittay.
It made my blood boil.
The fact is, making fun of fish’s error is not very braiseworthy.
Jennifer is seeding this thread with zingers!
it’s about time we roasted fish a little.
it’s about time we roasted fish a little.
because he is a little fish. He’s Fish Little. In an alternate universe, he’s doing impressions at Las Vegas for fish.
You’ve got me roiling.
This thread Santoku’d my breath away.
Pinko is pleased! Lettuce rejuice!
does everyone knead to be so snarky?
I doughn’t know.
Batter to let loose with a little snark than just sit there and stew.
You should take stock before you go after someone with zest. They might get steamed or they might be completely beaten, reduced to sitting there with a glazed look in their eyes.
I’d like to whisk myself away after that one.
I am consommed with jellysy after fish’s latest contribution.
I think this puts me in a jam. I’m toast! I butter get into gear, if I want to preserve any honor I need to have more than a margarine effort. I need a marmitey comeback, so I can muffaletta the peanut gallery. I need to tapenade into my inner strength. I need to spread out my resources, then I will cream the competition, they’ll be so cheesed off.
i’m just waiting for the whole thing to turn saucy
Memmi almostinfamous could remove his brazier.
An extract:
these last few entries have truly infused this thread with grateness.
Considering the lack of meatiness in the comments, the vegimite come back into flavor.
Since authorship has changed somewhat since its inception, and in some cases continues to evolve
I strenuously, vehemently, and double-dog object to this theory of authorship evolution being presented as a fact. This evolution has never been observed in a lab, and furthermore the fossilized comment record suggests strongly that content for this blog is spontaneously generated, most likely by someone sitting on a keyboard accidentally. Even more furthermore, such evolution would suggest a level of ass mathematically impossible for this blog to achieve, thus violating the Fifth Optional Guideline of Thermodynamics.
Thrice furthermore, this blog neglects to accept that each of the individual authors were likely created by a The Great Emu, as described in Genesis 3 Sides Live: Discs 1-2. “And lo did the Great Emu squat, and the blogosphere did fall out and begin to link, and the Great Emu looked and said, ‘SQUEEEE’”
In short, your theory of authorship evolution does not hold water in the colanderheotorical sense. I demand a retraction.
Prof. T. F. LeChapeau,
Thank you for your contribution. It is in the spirit of the blog to foster debate and welcome views from various viewpoints, that they may be roundly mocked by the Assembly.
However, we must cast some aspersions on your purported theory. A colleague has contacted us regarding a misspelling which has been cause for some skepticism. It is a well-known fact that the correct spelling is “SQUEEEEEEE” and not “SQUEEEE” as you have indicated. This appears to indicate that your source is the highly controversial translation of theologian and freelance gene-splicer T. Bone Pickens, whose work and credibility have been held in disrepute for quite some time.
His research methods, as every first-year student of colanderheotory has learned, were considered too unorthodox even for that time, and his conclusions even more so.
Also, that the Great Emu did squawk, not squat. This was resolved at the Nicoise Council after the word was proven to be a printer’s error involving a diacritical mark, a lightning rod, and a large quantity of retsina. I am sure you are familiar with the story, so I will not elaborate. In the translator’s defence, we are given to understand that it was one hell of a party.
In closing, we choose to stand by our sources and will not issue a retraction, least of all due to a long-debunked misconception to which you insist on adhering. You are of course welcome to continue commenting on this matter, but I must warn you that our local stable of commenters may be far less scholarly than this post.
Yours in colandry,
Mendacious D
Disjunct Professor (tenured)
PS. Quoting from the B-side is just asking for it. Primary sources, beeyatch!
Feh. These posts are too long. tl;dr. We need a reduction in length. Maybe halve them.
I have something to say in regards to MenD’s response to Prof. T. Foil Chapeau.
Bum.
Thank you very much.
Proffy was just hovering like a fly, waiting for the windshield on the freeway on that one.
Prof can’t dance.
However, we must cast some aspersions on your purported theory.
Cast asparagus, or cast nothing at all, my mom always said.
~
I’m foaming at the mouth. We need a reduction in tempers. Maybe less EMUlsion?
Sink Lettuce sez Pinko Punko is overstrained.
P.S. Just for the halibut
~
hot fish tempura
Has this thread served its porpoise?
~
I’m overboiling that Pinko is reusing my reduction joke.
Ahem.
Well, nobody used EMUlsion, so I think I get some slack.
EMUlsion was brilliant.
All right you hooligans better clam up before I get fried. Savor this thread, and move on.
‘CUZ THIS HONKY GRANDMA BE TRIPPIN’!
TEH L4M3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s right, word to teh m3.