I didn’t play a fun joke on the delightful bloggers at the Consumerist to boost our traffic. What would that do, sell ads that we don’t have? Nah. The C’ist has some pretty funny commenters, and some of the trolliest as well on the internets. I thought we’d have some hijinks, etc. after I did a little teasing, and of course some good spider money humor could come of it. The C’s were good enough to present the joke as it was made to their audience, but in doing so broke the link back to our fine site. So after 3700 something hits to a post about The Tragically Hip from when we were 0 years old, not a single new comment at our fine site, nor did anyone actually see a spider in a party hat. Since I feel a little sad about this, I will not put forth any ass for the rest of today.
The Daily Howler
- The new network dramas must be very dumb! May 22, 2013
- THE REFUSAL TO FIGHT: Adopting Isikoff’s Fox-tinged line! May 22, 2013
Sadly, No! Batphone
- Gendermorphs, a new series from Scholastic May 19, 2013
- Benghazi Bites May 16, 2013
Befouled
- Enlightenment May 22, 2013
Oakland Dilettante
- ALL SHALL READ THIS AND DESPAIR May 21, 2013
Saying Yes
- Heed the Orb!!! May 13, 2013
Empire of the Senseless
- That’s AllDid I have a dream last night that woke me up in fear? Or was it a dream that I had a dream that woke me up in fear? Such is my life. Filed under: Fridge Note, Shovels, the Self-pity goes to 11 […]
Blue Girl in a Technicolor Dream State
- Empathy Sustains Us April 20, 2013
Really Small Fish
- Jack Crow January 8, 2013
The Hollow Man (teh l4m3)
- Hive Mind May 22, 2013
Wow there’s a Chester comment on that post!
Hmph and harrumph!
You’re not the one being portrayed in anthropomorphized, anatomically incorrect drawings.
Two eyes! Pshaw!
I note that the most prolific producer of these drawings is apparently a spokesperson for Big Zebrafish and also one of the contractors the government pays to run its Danio gulags.
Pish and tosh!
It’s a new day, Pinko! Haul out that ass cheek!
Please Jennifer. Pinko provided plenty of asscheek in that Oz viddy. Also, clearly outlined Aussie junk.
True, but junk is not ass. The values are nearly opposite, maybe orthogonal, and in some cases even perpendicular.
Also, C’ist commenters can sometimes make RedStaters seem like the love-child of Harper’s and James Wolcott. To stray in those waters is to risk death by emu trampling.
I should clarify, since I’m too lazy to log in and edit my own comments:
They are like the love-child of JA and himself.
Better?
Yes, better.
AHEM, that was not an OZ video! NEW ZEALAND!!!!111!!!234123
First, let me point out that we have no “spokesperson” as you might say “in the tank” for us. We are perfectly capable of speaking for ourselves. We simply choose not to.
Second, frankly it is an embarrassing display when a clearly inferior animal (skeletons on the outside, HAH!) gets all whiny. “Oooohh, poor me, he forgot six of my eyes” or “waaaahh waaaahh, he drew a leg coming out of my head.”
You are clearly jealous of our near mammalian status. Some of us have even developed rudimentary leg-like structures, making us true bipedals.
Third, just because he slays zebrafish by the tens of thousands per annum, keeps them trapped on overcrowded tanks, and has a forced breeding program, does not make him a bad “person.” I am pretty sure the fish like to die.
Perhaps spider in a huff needs another spokesperson.
OMG Zombia that was New Zealand!!! YOU are totally going down for that, like a cardinal sin right there.
Also, ZRM did not note that Gregor Samsa posted that New Zealand post.
Double ZRM hate toward poor ol’ Gregor.
OMG Zombia that was New Zealand!!! YOU are totally going down for that, like a cardinal sin right there.
Seems they have all kinds of things going on “down there”, um, like such as (/Miss Teen South Carolina), marmite vs. vegemite, which country is the world’s sheep shagging champion, etc.
~
I was going to say it was apparent that ZRM had not watched the entire video or he would have realized it was NZ and if it was NZ, it must be GS… but the fact that he was able to discuss wangage lets us know he saw it all. I think he was too busy comparing packages.
Zombia apologias.
Gregor, would you accept a drawing of a spider with seven legs as a peace offering?
The triple hate is that you lot are commenting on the NEW ZEALAND video in the wrong thread.
Given his fascination with junk, perhaps it should have 9 “legs”…
Oh ZRM apoligies not required but I would like a seven legged spider. Yes indeed. Perhaps it could be in mystery art bage!?
Whose fascination with junk? Chuckles’???
I was just sayin that PP did not need to bring the half-ass today as plenty of ass was provided in the NEW ZEALAND man-crack beer post.
Good zombie!
Gregor, would you accept a drawing of a spider with seven legs as a peace offering?
I think a spider wearing a pair of stubbies!
Gregor, could you serve as intermediary to obtains Stubbies for all 3B readership?
PP, of course, would need red stubbies.
We could pay you in spider drawings.
If Gregor obtains me red stubbies, I will wear them for HNT.
We prefer length challenged.
Also, they must be in SPACE.
Blue Snacktator Stubbies for Kathleen, please.
Stubbies in Space?
Pinko needs some replacement hijinks, people. Let’s all chip in!
Jinkies! He’s running low on hijinks!
How about a Snackie/HNT crossover?
Let’s all chip in!
It’s not like I can make money whenever I need it. Oh wait!!!
Pictures of spiders in stubbies is the best idea ever(and sure to answer the age-old question, do spiders have butt cracks?), but space-spiders should be more appropriately attired with spider-spacesuits over their stubbies.
I can’t believe how many awesome ideas are abounding here. I think we need a Cabinet-level department to work on these important economic stimuli.
How many cracks would a spider have? Four?
Spiders in your house may send you scurrying for a shoe but spiders in space are almost hypnotic, as they struggle to weave a symmetric web in zero gravity.
Experiments with insects are an easy way for teachers across the country to get students involved in hands-on science, which is the goal of sending these two spiders, and some butterflies, into orbit on the latest shuttle mission to the space station.
Butterflies are insects, sure. I think the spiders have an objection )not to the butterflies, to ABC Nooze).
~
Okay, I couldn’t resist.
A spider with thumbs? I’d have to say that it looks awesome, except I don’t think those are Stubbies. I think stubbies are not denim. I’ve come to expect more from fish internet links.
*clattering of coconuts*
Notice how Big Zebrafish has hired a big zebrafish as an apologist for their activities. It’s so like these government-backed cartels to turn fish within the same family against each other.
D. aequipinnatus probably lives in a tank on the other side of the room from the Danio ghettos with maybe an angelfish and a neon goby. It sounds like there might be a poster of a mudskipper or something nearby to give them a sense of their “place” as legless water dwellers and a focus for their aspirations. While it’s clear why this sort of propaganda would work well on a goby, you would think D. aequipinnatus might have some feeling for their relatives being literally ground up for government-backed experiments. Family values indeed!
But, of course, if D. aequipinnatus were to admit that “liking to die” might be a result of life in a forced breeding program under conditions of hopelessness and overpopulation, where experimental manipulations might be carried out at any moment, they might also have to admit to their own status as a pet. Their tank may be slightly more gilded, but they are still there at the whim of scale-less, warm-blooded, self-important bipeds who exploit their superficial commonalities as vertebrates to turn them against invertebrates who might more closely share their actual interests. And on a wall out of sight of the clean, well-lighted tank will be the inevitable poster reading “Two legs good, fins bad”.
*clattering of coconuts*
I am aware of all stubbie traditions.
A spider, in stubbies, using eight PC mice to clear the cluttered desktops of Kevin W. Baker’s co-workers…FROM SPACE!
I am aware of all stubbie traditions.
And stubby traditions as well, I hope.
MenD, that is funny, because when they first started talking about spiders with stubbies, that is what I thought they meant…
All this talk of spiders and Chuckles hasn’t shown up?
I hope he’s OK. Can someone run over and check? Maybe he forgot to feed his spider and she went all Donner Party on him.
And then drank his stubbies.
It ain’t the spider that’s a problem, it’s her hungry offspring and their ghoulish friends.