Concern/Troll Olympics

Everything is on the table here. I knew it would happen organically due to the exclusive nature of Trader Joes Marcona almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt, but I think we should have a contest. Troll or Concern Troll comments on these classes of generic blog post:

A) This non-uniformly distributed thing/resource is awesome! [Spectrum= private yacht with helicopter sub > iPhone > Chick-Fil-A > Trader Joes Marcona Almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt > Fresh air > Shelter > Loving parents etc.]

B) Criticism of other person/blogger [Spectrum= god, non-existence of god, patriarchy, John Aravosis, Matthew Yglesias, Republic of Dogs, Uncanny Canadian]

C) A joke about something possibly “serious” or even serious.

D) A discussion of ism being relative to one’s point of view.

I thought of this last night, but KWB set the table this morning.

Bonus points for “this is no laughing matter, but” and “Perhaps you are not aware, but”

This does not mean that all such comments are invalid or trolly, I’m just saying do your best to find the concerniest comment you can for any generic situation.

211 Responses to “Concern/Troll Olympics”

  • Thank you for the description of the Holiday Bake Off. I’m so happy you feel free and clear to describe in gruesome detail the various cookies and baked goods. It must be liberating to actually have teeth and a tongue and a throat and a stomach with which to feel, taste and digest cookies. I mean what a drag to go through life essentially living a lie with an incessant charade perpetrated for the delight and mockery of squealing children. /sarcasm

    F*ck you.

  • I’m not sure you are aware that some individuals don’t have fathers. I would appreciate if you could be more sensitive the next time you post about going fishing with your dad.

  • For the purposes of this contest, I recommend that one C. T. McTrollypants be recused.

  • Mendacious D.,

    I’m sorry to say that I find your naked attempts to stifle debate and silence other voices disturbing. I certainly would not want to be part of such a community. I don’t read here much, but I can see myself avoiding it in the future. I’ll also make a note to tell my friends to steer clear. I hope the proprietors of this blog don’t support such strong arming, although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Enjoy your echo chamber!

  • Hon. Capt. C. Trollypants,

    You only serve to reinforce my point. Such multipartisanship is to be applauded.

  • Apparently several comments I’ve made have been deleted by the moderator. I bid you all good day.

  • Another sexist post — well good thing I looked before I linked.

  • For once you seem to feel fit to make your point about almonds that some people cant get, and worse, some people that are deadly allergic, without a YouTube video that some people can’t watch about an HBO show that most people don’t get on a blog that won’t load during some people’s only free 20 minutes of computer time at the public library before they close before some people have to actually work at a job and not banter about inside jokes all the live long day. Recognize the privilege first next time and then own it before the collateral damage among supposed allies calls your blatant hypocrisy. Jeebus.

  • You somehow managed to come off as both racist and homophobic in this post while also calling for the de-magic-pantsing of all Mormons. Well-played. As long as I’m here, I’d like to call your attention to the plight of the hill tribes of Laos who would love to have their gay marriages banned.

  • Dear Swoof,

    I am sure you are aware that what you characterize as “Hill Tribes” are in fact ethinically distinct groups, the Akha, Lahu, Karen, Hmong, Mien and Lisu, but then I guess they all look the same to you.

  • if you have a cat or cats, you could do a “Friday Cat Blog” like Washington Monthly. It would have cat lovers tuning in like clockwork.

  • If you cared, Kathleen would immediately win. She is pregnant you know.

  • well fish some of us can’t conceive, so your insensitivity is noted. worse, society doesn’t allow our gay brothers and sisters to adopt in certain states. finally, those with children are insufferable to those without as the world no revolves around their little hyperactive and overmedicated angels while other children starve in Africa.

  • Interesting that you haven’t mentioned the gang violence in Oklahoma City. Hmmmmm…….

  • Dear Pedant,

    I have a good friend who’s made up of all those SE Asian tribes you mentioned. What do I do when se says she wants to marry my little sister?

  • The silence is deafening. I think it is clear where the priorities of this blog lay. You know where to find me. Under the bus and certainly not reading this blog.

  • I see that you’ve resorted to ad hominem in the absence of an argument. Where can one find reasoned debate?

  • I’ve been reading this blog for at least three years and I still can’t figure out the anti-Whatchamacallit bias.

  • swoof is apparently suffering from last wordism.

  • Attacking swoof simply because (gender-neutral pronoun) has a need to have the last word shows your insensitivity to those suffering from last wordism. How would you like it if you always needed to have the last word?

  • if you have a cat or cats, you could do a “Friday Cat Blog” like Washington Monthly. It would have cat lovers tuning in like clockwork.

    Oh, it’s okay to have a picture of a kitty on its back, legs spread, with a caption that says “I haz prezent 4 u.” Yet if you take that exact same pose and caption, but simply replace the kitty with a naked woman, that’s sexist. That’s what feminism has done to this country.

  • Actually, in the case of the former it would likely be captioned “My yarbles. Let me show you them” or some similar travesty of grammar and good taste.

    I imagine that BO’RF thinks the latter to be the least he deserves.

  • Kath, attacking me for my regional American English dialect (in which last words are typically dropped in polite conversation only to be added in telegrams later on the same day) and not my ideas shows your narrow-mindedness.

  • This blog’s narrow focus on the hill tribes of Laos shows a clear, blatant disregard for the plight of The Hills tribes of greater Los Angeles.

  • All this discussion of Hill People, and no mention of me? It’s just a slap in the face.

    so much for your “tolerance” and “diversity”.

  • Bill O’Reilly’s Falafel, what’s wrong with being sexy?

  • While many of the criticisms being made of this blog are just, I would like to point out that, it seems to deal tactfully with those not “”-abled. Many don’t, and cows have have been madded for less.

    Those especially ssitive to the malformation of modern neologisms in dead languages may disagree, and, in addition, this does not resolve any slights resulting from the neglect of issues of apaternality.

  • Chilling, to say the least.

  • You are all stupid because your opinions are small increments different than mine. If everyone was more like me, then the world would be more tolerant to differences of opinion.

  • Perhaps you are unaware that some bloggers are too poor to actually pay for blogging and rubbing our collective noses in gaudy features like amusing headers, “spam catchers”, and rotating pithy words of wisdom, makes us feel like second class bloggers. While second class might be an improvement for some (i.e. gender-insulting undead), it is downright rude to others who already have an inferiority complex regarding their lack of pedalism.

  • this entire post serves merely to mock blogs that lack comment threads.

  • Plover likes spiders!

  • While I may have competing interests, I believe that this site should be more centrist in its approach to the various grievances of spiders, fish, shorebirds, and those trolls with editorial control over the blog.

    To do otherwise would make Glenn Reynolds cry, and those sorts of baseless attacks have no place in the Big Tent that is our party.

  • The proprietors of this blog, seemingly unaware that their implied stance on several issues renders them beneath contempt, have much to answer for, including the crickets now chirping in my ears.

  • Actually, I posted a comment that pointed out once again he was making a straw man argument, that I used to support him, but that he lost me through his behavior. I also called him out on his hypocrisy. Let’s see if he’ll let my comment through.

  • This thread, this blog, and indeed most of the Liberal blogosphere have developed an undeserved bias against Straw Men. Thank goodness we still have allies in the media.

  • This is just the kind of thing I mean when I say “Another sexist Post”.

    It used to be that you could come around here and see posts about emus and sink lettuce. It was the kind of place that seemed friendly, but was also incomprehensible. We all looked for it.

    You know, the kind of hatred crept in; first against grapefruit, but the anti-zombism was always present. It’s not a welcoming place anymore, and you don’t even hear that much about about beavers anymore.

    I didn’t leave 3Bulls, they left me. I don’t think I’ll be back.

  • You know, this is what I’ve been meaning to post for some time. Clearly, my work is done here.

  • Why have you deleted the comment I didn’t post? ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE TROOTH?!!1//?

  • I know exactly what you mean. There are some people out there that feel the need to pin their issues on others as a vain attempt for them to hold onto their false sense of self esteem. Of course if they were to read this — they will think its about them because no matter what you say, in their heads they are convinced you care that much to actually make blog posts or comments about such insignif people.

    As I tell my friends, don’t be afraid to hit the delete button on that friendship/relationship because sometimes walking away is not only the best thing — it is the right thing.

  • I didn’t leave Three Bulls, Three Bulls left me.

  • ack. bestest by a zombie….

    I didn’t have a contingency plan for that.

  • Isn’t it the height of anti-zombieism to pilfer their comments and present them as your own? I wish people on the internet, certainly the anonymous ones, were more thoughtful.

  • Isn’t pilfering zombie comments and republishing them a little like eating their brains? Maybe it’s actually solidarity.

    Although it could also just be appropriation of distinctly zombie traditions.

  • dude, where's my cortex?

    I didn’t leave my brain. My brain left me.

    When a zombie stole it!

  • popular zombie front

    Decolonize the zombies!

    (And no, this does not mean taking their moldering colons.)

  • 3Bulls is NOT aware of All Zombie Traditions. Splitters.

    There is no place for this kind of pro-living bigotry in a modern blog. I knew that I would see this kind of thing in this thread before too long. Your biases are being telegraphed like a neon sign here.

    If you would only see things my way, open up the door and let us in, we could munch on your brains and have a civilized talk. We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s gonna eat your eyes.

    It’s impossible to discuss this kind of hatred of the undead calmly around here. Trollypantses is right. Aravosis (a small but tasty brain) is right. Chief Korir is right.

    I won’t be back.

  • I’m heartbroken ever since Deena left.

  • Sure, go ahead and put up a post like this before Thanksgiving.

    And then take the next five days off, no doubt stuffing your face with turkey and pie.

    Some people in the world have run out of turkey and pie. What about them, Mister P. Punko?

    What about them?

  • Deena saw the sexism inherent in this post.

    I don’t think she’ll be back.

    P Punko is anti-zombie, anti-Thunder, and anti-Free distribution of Turkey…

    You won’t see me around here any more.

  • What if there was a free market in concern trollery, ZRM?

    Blogs that lacked concern, like the shrieking harpy‘s, could purchase concern offsets supplied by the likes of ThreeBulls!.

    Then we could invest the proceeds in spider money.

  • Concern Trollery will soon supplant Spider Money as the whimsical imaginary currency of choice.

    But the denominational aspect will be more difficult. For instance, where there were Spider Monies with seven or eight legs, or even Party Hats, what is the base Concern Troll unit? One K-Drum? will we stick with a decimal system, or going with something more appropriate, like binary or sexadecimal?

    Another Sixist Post, certainly.

    Unless I am immediately paid in spider money, I won’t be back.

  • I can’t believe zombies and zombie supporters are allowed to post here! This website is dedicated to trolling zombies. Anyone else should just get the F out! I can’t take anymore zombie bullshit. This is my last comment.





  • popular zombie front

    Sorry zrm, but Pinko’s connected to those deliquescents, the Zombie Popular Front.

    We realize that you may not yet have come to completely accept what’s demanded by the struggle for zombie liberation. But you are free to join us if you are ready to commit to the revolution.

    That is… if you even are a real zombie, which frankly some of your comments leave us questioning. Sitting down for “civilized talk”? What kind of appeasement rhetoric is that? And what if it were necessary to eat someone’s eyeballs for the cause? What then? Too squeamish maybe? There are putative zombies wandering around who talk a good line, they’ll even whip a brain or two out of their pocket for show, but they’re really pre-dead poseurs slumming it for zombie cred. Real zombies would spit a perfectly good maggoty larynx on their graves rather than eat their brains. Even worse are the undead who secretly wish they were still pre-dead. They’ve bought into the rules of the pre-dead world and are almost embarrassed to be found eating brains — some of them even cook them first! The worst thing is they convince other zombies that maybe the pre-dead can be accommodated, that maybe they’ll recognize undead concerns one day. These reanimatronic dolts don’t realize that when the revolution comes, the shotguns and flamethrowers and tactical nukes will be aimed at them too.

    So what about you, are you putrescent for revolution? Or just pseudo-dead?

  • I think it raises questions about your commitment….


  • It is ridiculous to suggest Three Bulls requires a litmus test or some sort of doctrinal purity, but you might be surprised to note that functionally Three Bulls employs exactly those sort of machinery under the pathetic rubric of logic and reason. Additionally, the cultural insensitivity they show concerning the rejection of brain based food sources is astoundingly disenfranchising.

  • I think Invisible Zombie Hand should simmer down. There’s a benefit to labeling things hot. It tells you to move on to something else, something newer and hipper or — if you hate hipness even more than hotness — to whatever it is you actually like as a matter of personal taste — if you still have any. If you don’t. Get some. It’s hot.

  • Sir, I am
    Spiritually, physically
    Positively, absolutely
    Undeniably and reliably dead

    Zombie I, committed fully
    though my rejoinder may strike dully,
    But I am not only merely dead
    I am really most sincerely dead

    purity test, foul bigotry
    representing 3Bulls zealotry
    all your brains shall soon be a snack.
    But just remember; I won’t be back.

  • No offense pzf, but the point is that ideological purity is no substitute for undead cannibalism. So you eat eyes? Well, good. The sloppy gorgings of an ivory tower zombie, debating how many shotgun blasts it takes to separate a lurching corpse from his viscera are not representative of what the undead on the streets have available for common repast, though.

    Which is not to say that you’re not right. Who knows, you might be, and I’m certainly not the one prove it. But I’ll continue to be skeptical until someone shows me a picture of a seven-month-dead resuscitant (who doesn’t look like Mike Rowe in latex appliances and Karo Syrup) with a mouthful of peepers.

  • You fags won’t love Muslims as much as you do now after they take over our government and crush you all under a stone wall. You need to understand that the War on Terror is, in fact, central to the struggle for gay rights.

  • You emus won’t love zombies as much as you do now after they take over our malls and crush you under a sea of rotten corpses. You need to understand that the War on Zombies, is in fact central to the struggle for avian rights.

    Also zombies need to get a life.

  • I have never visited this site before but inexplicably was sent here by someone who obviously thought I would find it amusing. I can assure you, and I will assuredly assure him, or her, that I do not. I have no idea why any of you are insulting me, nor exactly how, although I am sure that you are. For one thing, You think joking about zombies is funny? What if you had ever known someone who died — wouldn’t be so fucking funny THEN, would it? And that’s just for one thing. I’m sure I could come up with more, but that would require my revisiting here, which as I stated previously I can assure you I certainly will not ever do again. I weep for the future.

  • ideological purity is no substitute for undead cannibalism

    But substituting ideological purity for brains is a tradition going back millennia…

  • where is the photoshop of a zombie eating a giant sandwich?

  • I find Kathleen’s mocking reference to a hurtful incident beneath contempt. The sandwich was not giant. It was suffering from a complex syndrome. Also, such “sandwiches” prefer to be spoken of in hushed, awed tones as “subs” or did you not get the memo at hurtful terrorist training camp?

  • I can no longer tolerate the intolerance I have seen here. Best of luck to you all in your intolerable lives; you’ll need it. I do not think I shall be back.

  • I find aggrieved whiner’s intolerance to intolerance intolerable.

  • May I just add that “fish” seems to suffer from fishbowl syndrome, wherein, one cannot conceive of life outside of a bowl of water because one does not one’s self live under such conditions. It’s the same hegemonic paradigm as for patriarchy, as everyone who has ever cared to bother with such things knows.

    That having been said, I leave you all to it. Happy swimming.

  • I do not think I shall be back

    People in this thread keep saying that. I do not think it means what they think it means.

  • Well Mr/Ms/Mrs/Itr/Is/Bird/Birds,

    Why not can the snark and the thinly veiled sarcasm, and the oblique yet obvious references to the subhuman intelligence of our readers and instead reach out to them in their not coming back state. Go to their blogs. Listen to their voices, do not comment or intrude on their spaces. Think about what they have said. Then, you can come back here in contemplative silence observing the universe. Let me be simple: like little children are asked to play the “statue” game, incredibly erudite and patronizing bloggers are asked to play the “Dark Matter” game. Give it a try, and I can be fairly certain that while these individuals will no be back you will also understand their will not be backness.

  • I was directed to this website via a pingback from Digg hot tags, and I’m disappointed to see that the discussion here offers nothing interesting about the undead. Perhaps if the webmaster would consider being more careful about the use of their tags, my time would not be so wasted. Furthermore, I’m concerned that very intolerant rhetoric is being used in this thread. I shall have the Digg moderators investigate more thoroughly.

  • Far be it for me to tell you how to run your blog, but it would certainly be more interesting if you added humor. Not necessarily bawdy jokes about pooping and peeing, or walking into a bar peeing and pooping, or a Pope a rabbi and Jerry Fallwel’s moldering corpse in an airplane at 30 thousand feet with only one parachute and a snack bucket of pee and poop- just some good-natured, perhaps self-effacing, humor. One tires of always reading about the gloomier aspects of the bloggers life.

  • Since you all seem a little down, perhaps this funny joke will brighten your day:

    A little boy met a man with a truck full of cow manure and the boy asked him what he was going to do with all of that cow poop.
    The man told the little boy, “I’m taking it home to put on my strawberries.”
    The little boy looked up at the man and said, “I don’t know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries.”
    Then the man ground little boy up into a tasty snack for his cat.

  • Who said that? You think it’s funny mocking the bodily challenged? I would like to see you type this without hands

  • I do not appreciate you making fun of my deformities.
    I will no longer read or participate in this unfriendly and humorless blog. Goodbye. And I mean it. I don’t care how badly you feel about it, I will not be back.

  • Oh. So now it’s poop jokes, is it? And in conjunction with speaking ill of the dead and other esteemed men of the cloth, no less. I would ask Mr. Williams and/or his frozen handless head if HE has ever been in an airplane at 30,000 feet with a moldering corpse. No, I thought not. It’s not that humorous, I can assure you.

    It is not up to me to moderate how and who may comment on this “blog” (thank heavens), but if it were, I would be a bit quicker with the delete function. And with the banning. There’s a reason the administrators gave you a ban capability.

    Perhaps you should review your responsibilities before presuming to allow scatalogical “humor” to be deposited all over the floor like this where someone could come along and slip and fall down. But you’d probably find THAT amusing as well.

    Therefore, I take my leave. Have loads of fun here in your filth-infested kiddy potty room.

  • While the Captain’s oblique reference to statues is an all-too-revealing window as to how his ilk regards avian contributions to civilized discussion, I would like to note, not in response — as that would accord rather more importance to his comment than it deserves — but rather as a general observation, that dark matter, by ignoring distracting shiny objects, is better able to understand the gravity of the situation.

    For those unable to conceal their rank mammalocentrism and possessing such an overt allegiance to ordinary matter, the only surprise ought be any register of surprise when their comments receive all the notice a neutrino would give to a few miles of fur covered lead.

    I will offer a simple observation in conclusion, and I trust that any discerning reader who might come along — though an unlikely occurrence in such precincts — will agree that no more need be said: merely note the complete lack of any mention of avian zombies in the current discussion, let alone anti-matter avian zombies.

  • I am not a bigot, but I often find the comments of toothless appalachian hillbillies unworthy of my attention. I cannot however, allow this blatant coprophobia to stand uncontested.
    If you had taken the time to read Freud’s seminal work “Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality” in which he describes the phases of libidinal development from birth onward, you would be aware that the retention of fecal matter initially corresponds with an intention to use it for masturbatory purposes. The whole meaning of the anal zone is thus reflected in the fact that “few neurotics are to be found without their special scatological practices, ceremonies, and so on, which they carefully keep secret”.
    Who amongst has not proudly admired a particularily noble bowlwinder steaming happily on the crisp clean porcelain, perhaps even called to friends and family to share? Have we really sunk so low as to criticize our most basic of bodily functions?

  • I had thought myself to be among friends here, like-minded people with whom I could share a chortle or two while discussing the great issues of the day. Instead, a post is put up in my absence, which contains neither in its main nor its comments a single reference to moose. Friends? Hardly.

    May God have mercy on you. I cannot.

  • Sir or Madam Snag,
    Your argument is predicated on your first sentence, which is easily refutable. Since your premise is false, everything that follows from it is also false. Furthermore, your snide asides about moose-hunting show a lack of empathy toward the trails and tribulations of hard-working God-fearing frontier women and the Founding Fathers. Your strawman attempts at justifying misguided laws targeting my 2nd amendment rights are deplorable. Have you no pride, no sense of patriotism? We Americans have an absolute right to protect ourselves from danger that no politician or liberal dreamer has the right to deny us.

  • Somebody here is not aware of all internet traditions, therefore to continue this discussion is to escort futility.

    Quid Ergo Duodenum!

  • Like Snag, I think we should not be so quick to defend the awful poop jokes.

    Pistol Ted’s amusing typos notwithstanding, The problem with Plaxico Burress is not the carrying of a weapon, but his handling of it. True gun enthusiasts will chuckle derisively at a person who not only sticks a gun in his pants, but also shoots himself; not to mention shooting himself in the money, so to speak. It seems to me that you are ignoring the fact that if Burress would have been packing a decent weapon, he would have made himself an ex-Burress, possibly becoming the first Pro Bowl Zombie in history.

    But then, I have come to expect this sort of hypocrisy from you non-moose-loving sort. Have you EVER really had Marcona Almonds, or is everything written here a sham?

  • Great comment from ZRM, but since it fits topically in more than one thread, I wonder why you chose to post it here- is it possible you have something against the author of the other post? Is it possible your natural affinity for the author of this thread leads you to not want to go outside your safety zone? There are other voices that are being silenced here, nay, shouted down. Look, there are people saying they won’t be back. We need to consider why they are being driven away.

  • Sir or Madam Snag,

    currently at 64% Madam, using the Gender Analyzer.

    Anyone ever notice that Johnny Lydon and Ronald McDonald both have red hair, while Michael McDonald has white hair?

    But acknowledging that would expose the hypocrisy of the owners of this blog, so I expect this comment won’t make it through.

  • ZRM’s comment makes it through while others haven’t/won’t? That speaks for itself now, doesn’t it?

    For shame.

  • so far no one has attempted to provide any kind of real answer to the real question: where are all the zombie bloggers?
    I suppose the obvious response is that it’s for the same reason that practically every other elite profession is dominated by the living: we still live in a life-dominated society and probably will for at least another century. But that’s a boring answer. Can we say more?
    Although the internets geeky Usenet roots were (and are) pulse-laden affairs, there are still no formal barriers to entry here, no old living human club in the usual meaning of the word. Yet if you take a look at the Three Bulls commentariot, which for all its faults is probably the closest thing we have to a consensus measure of popularity for political blogs, you will find exactly three Zombies in the top 30: Michelle Malkin, ZRM, and Ted Williams.

    So what’s up? There aren’t any institutional barriers in the traditional sense of the word, which means either (a) there are fewer zombie political bloggers and thus fewer in the top 30, or (b) there are plenty of zombies who blog about politics but they don’t get a lot of traffic or links from high-traffic living bloggers.

    My guess is that it’s a bit of both, and the proximate reason is that non-zombies are more comfortable with the food fight nature of opinion writing — both writing it and reading it. Since I don’t wish to suffer the fate of Larry Summers I’ll refrain from speculating on deep causes — it might be social, cultural, genetic, or Martian mind rays for all I know — but I imagine that the fundamental viciousness and self aggrandizement inherent in opinion writing turns off a lot of zombies.

    Which begs another question: does this mean that zombies need to change if they want to enter the fray, or does it mean that the fray needs to change in order to attract more zombies? As usual, probably some of both. Unfortunately, the blogosphere, which ought to be an ideal training ground for finding new voices in nontraditional places, is far more vitriolic than any op-ed page in the country, even the Wall Street Journal’s, and therefore probably turns off zombies far more than it attracts them.

    I wish I had some answers for this, but nothing springs immediately to mind. So even though comment threads make blogs look like models of warmth and acceptance, I guess that’s where the conversation will have to continue. Try to keep it civil, OK?

    Speaking only for myself.

  • While I admit Kathleen makes an effort to reach out to the non-living community, she does so in language that can only be viewed as hurtful.

    I wish I had some answers for this, but nothing springs immediately to mind.

    The casual use of the term “mind” speaks volumes about the anti-zombism rampant here, as in so many places. Is it a subconscious slap at our nontraditional brain-eating friends? Is it something more insidious, an intentional refusal to accept what is so clearly spelled out in that groundbreaking work, “Dead Like Me”? No matter. It is, in either case, a sad commentary that even here, in what should be a safe place for all us, these sorts of hateful words are so casually used. We have much work to do.

  • What a week of Concern Trollery we have had here! Unbelievable!

    Who could have predicted the level of competition we have seen here. First a nod to that plucky zombie, Mr. Mcdonald!! Ya Mo Be There, indeed. But for all the rapid-fire concernery from this undead athalete, even working in some verse, in the end he turned in, at best, a workmanlike performance. He truly left it all, or maybe just a few body parts, on the field of battle.

    Kathleen rebounded from an early zombie-pwnage to lead the field in well timed trolling. Snag showed what a level of commitment can do. Although we all wonder how he got out of his cell. Committed, indeed.

    Has the Ombudsperson/bird/moose done their job on this day? Truly a question that can’t be answered now. But who would have expected the level of competition on this thread! It will be hard to pick a winner, or a whiner, from this field!

    Of course, Ted williams needs to be mentioned. so there, I mentioned him. Of course, plover and The Captain contributed to this epic battle, raising the threshold for now and evermore.

    And finally, would this contest have even been possible without the esteemed P. Punko? His red trackies showed up at opportune times to wrench the concern back on track, or rather, into the weeds; or sometimes, to restrain an overly enthusiastic competitor (really, comparing zombies to Michelle Malkin was quite unfair).

  • but nothing springs immediately to mind.

    Why this sudden vicious hatred of springs?

  • Frankly I’m disappointed yet not that surprised that deeply thoughtful, independent non-Zombie Derangement Syndrome post like Kathleen’s would immediately be labeled “concern troll.” As much as I loathe the expression “echo chamber” does it not indeed seem an apt description when we look at the facts? Kathleen I seriously encourage you to nurture you independent voice in your own space. I know I’ll be reading you. {{hugs]}

  • I must bring attention to the moderators the uninvited and possible unintentional punctuational assault above. It is hardly a safe space grammatically for Kathleen is she is to be hugged by improper brackets.

  • While all of you are on your knees (I will address the the inherent bipedalist nature of that expression in the future) worshipping Kathleen’s post for its even-handedness (again with the oppressor language), I would like to point out that Ted Williams is not, in fact a zombie, and labeling him as such is an offensive insult to his frozen head. In her embarrassing attempt to lump together all things “dead”, she managed to call someone with an intact brain (albeit a frozen one) and not even in possession of a corporeal body to reanimate a ZOMBIE!!!
    Such abject ignorance clearly discredits her entire argument and I demand that she issue an apology to both Ted Williams’ head and to zombies everywhere. If this blog fails to force her to issue such an apology within a reasonable time, I fear the mores of the blog owners are not in line with my own and I am not sure I can continue to be a part of this so-called “community.”

  • As an apologetic member of the privileged lunged class, I echo fish’s concerns, in a non-Echo Chamber manner. I am further troubled by the focus commenters have placed on Ted William’s head.

    As we all know, or should if we have any sensitivity at all, baseball is “America’s Game.” A bit ethnocentric, don’t you think? Where, pray tell, is a comparable solicitousness shown for a rugby player’s liver or a buzkashi playing goat carcass?

  • I hope this thread is not going to degenerate into a shouting match between lunged and non-lunged advocates…

  • I don’t appreciate your sarcasm, ZRM.

  • Yes, I let my dad’s head out of storage just to troll this blog. Now I can’t seem to find mine, either.

  • There aren’t any institutional barriers in the traditional sense of the word

    That anti-matter bloggers still do not have computers they can use without blowing up their neighborhood, indeed that they don’t have neighborhoods they can use without blowing up their neighborhood, shows what a farce this type of rhetoric continues to be. For Anti-Matter Americans, to blog still involves extreme risks. In fact, I know of none that survived long enough for their voice to be heard at all.

  • Does anyone even care about the rights of zombie fish?

    I can hardly recall a group so marginalized…no one even acknowledges their existence.

    And yet

  • That’s a funny way to spell beguiled

  • I signed up to this chat board for considered adult discussion of the concerns and burdens of picadores and flamenco dancers with their unique interplay of native Arabic, Andalusian, Sephardic, and Gypsy cultures.
    Instead I have been mercilessly attacked and jeered and subjected to endless balderdash, blather, bunkum, claptrap, drivel, garbage, idiocy, piffle, poppycock, rigmarole, rubbish, tomfoolery, trash and twaddle.
    Harmful comments such as these (The canonical example of a harmful comment is, “Does anyone even care about the rights of … fish?”) can and do have real life repercussions and have no place in polite society.
    Unless proper restitution is immediately forthcoming I will be forced to tender my resignation from the board and you people can just try to find your fifth-grade doodie humor elsewhere.

  • ittdgy: speaking of zombie fish

  • …just try to find your fifth-grade doodie humor elsewhere.


  • Ted, I believe someone will be willing to compensate you with the coin of the Bulls:

    doodle humor indeed.

  • I promise I’ll get my old man’s melon back to the Alcor freezer as soon as I can find my own. Just humor him. He doesn’t know a picador from a humidor but so many years in the deepfreeze has caused him to miss the sound of foreign words.

  • I see people are discussing me in another post on this blog. That doesn’t concern me, but since I do have concerns I figured this was the thread for it.

    Has anyone stopped to consider what will happen when the hill tribes go zombie?

  • I see that the custodians of this chatroom have chosen to moderate my comments. While such behavior might be standard procedure in some less congenial circles I fail to see why my well-reasoned and thought-provoking opinions deserve such treatment. Do we really fear courteous criticism, unselfish observation and a frank discussion of the Forcaderos place in an everchanging world? I would hope not and cordially invite all members to join me in righteous condemnation of this reprehensible conduct.

  • F**cad**os

    please use asterisks when unloading words like this in mixed company. This is, nominally at least, a fish-friendly blog.

  • This is, nominally at least, a fish-friendly blog.

    Did I ever mention I used to be a Boy Scout?

    And when I was at summer camp, this was the bomb.

    (Also was the bombs were the firecrackers we threw at each other in our traditional celebration of the Fourth of July.)

  • As an aquaculturalist and Army Sgt currently serving my country in Iraq, I found this comment at once entertaining and disturbing. It is crucial to the future of America that problems with such material be spelled out – and avoided.
    Satire is a valuable tool in helping us step back and see things from a fresh perspective. McDonald’s comment would be a success, if, by reading it, people with differing outlooks were induced to do so. Instead, McDonald lampoons the use of asterisks to advance doctrinairism, further widening the gap between those who would accept his commentary literally and those who believe unwaveringly in the use of small starlike symbols to mark an utterance that might be considered unacceptable.
    What’s needed in this pond is more clarity, not perpetual cycles of bobbing and baiting. By reacting to traditional tauromachy with burlesque, all the while failing to mention my unasterisked usage of the word “unselfish”, McDonald remains dogmatic. The disturbing irony is that the author adheres to an ichthyological creed no less rigid or illogical than that which he parodies.

  • I will not stand by idly while Ted Williams blithely mocks another’s religion.

    Unless, of course, he is referring to a band fronted by a piscine Scott Stapp. In which case, mock away.

  • How dare you associate anything piscine with Scott Stapp?!?!? I will not sit here (more bipedal oriented oppressive language) and take being associated with terrorists.

  • So you are a child molester? How’s that working out for you?

  • It would be kind if those of you running this blog could at least take a moment to consider those of us who have given birth before and may or may not have optimum PC muscle control… a warning perhaps of the laughter to come?? Don’t read before evacuating??? Or maybe you could tell us it might be a good idea to be close to a wastebasket. You could use a little wastebasket symbol. One wastebasket and I can live on the edge, but a 3 wastebasket rating… I take care of business before reading… but noooooooo. Why should you take us into consideration?!!? You’re obviously MEN! MEN who will never have to deal with pushing a large baby out of your body!!!

    This blog is obviously sexist, anti-mother, anti-upholstery and anti-having children!!@! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!?!!@!

  • I have been quietly waiting in vain for someone to address the blatant regional stereotype promulgated by Ted Williams, or perhaps it was his or his father’s frozen head. Whatever. Apparently making fun of the South is the last remaining acceptable form of bigotry. I’ll have you know Tennessee has now moved right on up past South Carolina AND West Virginia to 48th in the nation in annual reported cases of rickets. Furthermore, not all Tennesseans are toothless. I myself, for example, still have several.

    I note that Mr. Williams didn’t bother to capitalize “Appalachian” in his gratuitously hateful, passive-aggressive insult; but then, I would have expected no better. Apparently he gets all he needs to know about the South from Snuffy Smith cartoons. It surprises me, although by now it should not, that such ugly regionalist stereotyping is permitted at a so-called “progressive” blog. I shall not be back.

  • I would like to add my disgust at North Continent’s blatantly anti-south moniker. What is so wrong with “S. Continent”, hmmmm? Aggrieved whiner will not be back.

  • I already said that, fish. How dare you put words in my mouth, although Ted Williams would have you believe there is plenty of room in there what with the absence of teeth and all. Scales aren’t everything, you know.

    I think I’ll leave now, for good. It’s getting a bit redundant in here.

  • May I just also add that Ted Williams’ silence speaks volumes. Now I shall go.

  • 3Bulls is a ‘progressive’ blog?


  • The pernicious bigotry and hypocrisy promulgated by this so called “blog” has motivated me to neither read it nor post any comments.

  • It’s fair to assume, then, the deafening silence we hear from the proprietors of this blog indicates their agreement with the hurtful and hateful nature of so many of these comments?

    Frankly, I had hoped for better.

  • There’s a certain level of hate that unfortunately comes when you let everyone have anonymous access to the town square, and it happens on all the blogs, on all bulletin boards online, in all chat rooms, but for some reason I thought our own readers would be different. I was apparently wrong. Just wait and see the comments that come next. They’ll speak for themselves.

  • Some comments don’t have the ability to speak for themselves, Kathleen.

    They lie there quietly, hoping some kind person will take the time to read them.

    But you didn’t think about them or their needs, did you?

    How typical.

  • Has anyone stopped to consider the elitist nature of contests generally? Compounding things, the Olympics? Really? That’s the sort of sexist/racist/speciesist baggage you want to unpack on your blog?

    That’s your choice. I am afraid I cannot be complicit in that.

  • To mention Snuffy Smith without mentioning cigar-smoking, sports-loving, poker-playing, girl-chasing ne’er-do-well Barney Google, the Founding Father of America’s longest running and most beloved syndicated cartoon, shows a dismaying lack of patriotism and historical perspective on AW’s part. Would AW relish a return to those pre ’96 days when AltaVista and Lycos were our only options and the computer literate could not virtually drive by my home and check out my wonderful flower garden on Google Maps Streetview? Perhaps AW has a problem with literacy?

    One issue I do find my self in agreeance with, however, is AW’s statement, “… making fun of the South is the last remaining acceptable form of bigotry”. Unfortunately, the Appalachians are not in the south, thus off limits to acceptable bigotry and requiring a more nuanced approach. Far from being the repository of Scotch-Irish culture, ignorance born of geographic isolation, backwardness nurtured by anti-modernism and toothlessness, contemporary Appalachia is a much more diverse and historically complex place with many interesting aspects; poverty, high school dropout rates of 39% , minimal health care, substance abuse, above-average unemployment, racism, snake-handling dirt-eaters, and environmental degradation to name but a few. Also, beautiful scenery and cheap oxycotin.
    Blanket statements about Tennessee, and Appalachians in general, are little more than bigotry. Perhaps people fly the rebel flag because they like the colors, did you ever consider that? Besides, where ever all the rest of you people live is probably a dump too. Plant some daisys or something fer christsakes.

    In conclusion, I would offer my wholehearted support of N.Continent’s enthusiastic furtherance of one of this country’s finest traditions; doodie humor. Her post was pregnant with meaning and should be a lesson to all.

  • Whoa. Whoa the EFF up. I am about to close comments here due to the insensitivity on display. I also need to point out that I am not able to moderate this blog 24-7- a blog mind you that I pay for with hard earned money- a blog where I try to nurture a community that can discuss different things in a civil and reasoned way. I am extremely disappointed to the point where I feel like maybe I should just give up this blog and take some time off. I have received several abusive and hurtful e-mails deriding the nature of the moderation of the blog and I’ll have you know that I had my leg stuck in an illegal bear trap all weekend. I literally had to saw my own foot off to get out of it, after which the only thing I did before coming here to read these posts, which took me about 5 hours mind you, is check my Tivo and find that it didn’t even record the things I wanted it to because that’s right I don’t even have a tivo because I pay for this blog for you to abuse me on. I’m sorry that I’m so upset and that things are coming out this way I really do love all of you and think you are the best. I have so much to learn and really want you to help me learn but not in a way where it seems I am expecting you to help me learn- that would be offensive to you. What I want is for you to teach me the hard way where i have to teach myself and i promis that I will come back with renewed energy and be up to the task to take this blog to new and better places.

  • PP, I feel your pain. Why just this morning I was remarking to the missus about the difficulty of finding a good au pair, what with the increasingly difficult visa requirements and she mentioned how the sandtraps on the 8th a 14th had not been raked since the weekend. Appalling. I really don’t know what is happening with this country. It used to be you could get a good martini and lobster brioche at the clubhouse and now all they serve is Gordons and a thoroughly disagreeable turkey club.
    I encourage you to stick with it, if we all pull together we can overcome. Please accept this virtual hankie.

  • And curly fries!

  • I thought this was supposed to be fun… it used to be fun. You’ve ruined it.

  • I am about to close comments here due to the insensitivity on display.

    Now we see the violence inherent in the system.

  • Well, it seems that SOMEONE lowered the banhammer on me.

    Look, I’m not saying it’s because I eat brains. Although I realize that SOME people hate me for eating brains. But is it my fault that the brains of the living are so delectable and juicy? They’re like Trader Joe’s Marcona Almonds if the almonds were AWESOME. And jellied. and carried within the skulls of the living. Mmmmmm.

    It seems that no one can hear the hatred and bigotry in Pinko Punko’s words here. Oh, no, not just the endless shilling for Trader Joe’s and Take Five; but you do realize that ‘pinko’ can be used in another context, don’t you? And that the root of ‘Punko’ is, of course, ‘punk’…. PP has telegraphed for everybody that he is a Communist anti-social, anti-American deviant, and when nobody calls him on this, he just laughs and laughs….

    All of this has been very very hurtful and has demeaned my undeaddity. You all put me in a very negative place, and apologies will no longer do.

    Line up on the left and I will eat your brains. Except Ted Williams, I think your brain has gone bad being sealed in that jar.

  • zombie rotten mcdonald said “PP.” I can no longer tolerate the blatant disregard shown by commenters here toward my aversion to hearing about, reading about, or participating in bodily functions. Good day to you all.

    I said good day.

  • Pinku, was discussing your financial problems with my assistant- brilliant young man, brain literally the size of a small German automobile, knows all about computers and internets, owns an Iphone and video goggles, absolutely genius young fellow- and he had some thoughts on how you could save some money on your blog. His suggestion, turn off the blue background.
    This would also have the added benefit of making the thing a lot easier on the eyes.


    what is this Atrios?

    O yes I went there!

  • This could be the best of all possible threads, and by that I mean I hate it and everyone who has posted a comment in it.

  • I believe this is the kind of thing Ted Williams Head (and for that matter, Plaxico’s Leg) mean when they talk of piscine rights:

    Of course, should anyone propose a similar scenario with Creed, sign me up!

  • So we’ve gotten some complaints about the blue background from certain dead, ornery, sportsmen, former big leaguers. I was under the impression that blue was the most soothing and inclusive color. I was wrong. I’ve been wrong about everything and because of that I might as well just delete this blog that has no use for anyone. I’m done. I’ve had it. I’m not joking this time. This is it. The end. Fini. Thanks for all the fish.

  • Blue is the color of my skin!

    well, blue-ish. Not smurf blue.

    I hope this thread isn’t going to degenerate into a shouting match between blue-ish skin vs. non-blue-ish skin enthusiasts.

  • While never a fan of Pokemon, I believe Pinku has a point here. Perhaps it would be best to just make the text blue.

  • Zombies will tell you that they’re not smurf blue — a prevarication in the service of hiding behind smurfs once people get tetchy about the brain eating and start fooling about with chainsaws. Some zombies anyway. Though not necessarily any that are known to this blog. Or perhaps otherwise.

  • Les Schtroumpfs are not happy with the way this blog (reportedly progressive) has chosen to smear their appearance.

    They won’t be back.

  • Pinko’s intolerance toward non-blue enthusiasts is an astonishing display of hatred and unkindness.

    Maybe he should be banned.

    And a chili dog.

  • Yesterday I met a wonderful woman, truly a delightful person, intelligent, bubbly personality, big jugs and not afraid to show them off if you know what I mean…
    Long story short, after an evening of passionate lovemaking I learned that her name was Marcena Almonds. Imagine my surprise. She was quite flattered that people were discussing her on their blogs and will be setting up a MySpace page soon.

    PS: Not sure if you remember, but you promised prize money? Japanese yen would be best for me.

  • “So we’ve gotten some complaints about the blue background from certain dead, ornery, sportsmen, former big leaguers…”
    “…Ted Williams, or perhaps it was his or his father’s frozen head…”
    “I want to have Ted Williams’ children. His words are like sex and make me wet even tho I have no idea what he is talking about…”

    Please. I implore you to put yourself in my position. It’s not easy carrying a thread and being the smartest person in the room, forced to “dumb it down” and use one syllable words when sixers or seveners would work best (“gooder” in your parlance) . Amusing as the, “Haha , you have same name as see-leb-ray-tee” jokes admittedly are, they do get tiresome. The readers of this blog, who surely have a more mature (“gooder”) sense of humor, deserve better.

    Here, let me start-
    Chuck Norris and a zombie pollack are walking down the street in San Francisco.

    Chuck steps in shit and says, shaking his cowboy boot angrily, “Darn dogs”.

    The pollack zombie, an avid viewer of CSI Miami and mistakenly considering himself erudite, cocks his head to one side and attempts to put the button on it, “My good man, if I am not mistaken that is human faeces, note the tapeworm , creamy color, well defined proglottids, 9 meters if an inch- Diphyllobothrium latum- only infest fish-eating humans and bears, and since the only “bears” around here are…”

    Pollack didn’t even have a chance to put on his sunglasses, damn if he didn’t shut right up when Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the throat and wrote an article for Daily decrying the Sodom on the Bay and offering a prayer to Huckabee (whose dad was a firefighter and always had a second job).

  • The readers of this blog, who surely have a more mature (”gooder”) sense of humor, deserve better.

    I question your assumptions, Ted.

  • I don’t want to impose my views as administrator here. I’d prefer if the commenters fought this out with the tenacity of delightful and friendly protagonists.

  • So you are a gerbil feltcher? How’s that working out for you?

  • According to this article, there actually exists a Chainsaw Smurf — not what I was expecting when I typed “chainsaw smurf” into google…

    However, I have found no independent corroboration of this.

  • Looks like we are sadly headed for another internet flame war. It has not escaped my attention that some people here think it appropriate to obtain popcorn. I shall however not partake in your tainted snackfoods. Good day.

  • Perhaps this question has been asked before. Indeed, if it hasn’t I suspect there is something wrong with the internet.

    Is it possible to get both a pony and a chili dog? Or perhaps: what happens if you combine a pony and a chili dog?

    Also, I hope TW’s “pollack” is a misspelling of “pollock” rather than “polack” as this might silence the people complaining about the lack of fish zombies long enough for the people complaining about the lack of avian zombies to be heard before I say something like “I won’t be back”, which, back in the 80s, was said in my hearing by a member of the most important band ever from Athens, Georgia (who no one has ever heard of as they died in a mysterious curling accident after their second gig, which was attended by only 3 people, but incidentally featured both a pony and a chili dog), and thus it would be unforgivably clichéd of me to say that myself in a way that recounting anecdotes about obscure 80s bands you don’t understand the importance of clearly is not.

  • Plover writes:
    “Also, I hope TW… might be[at]…my… member [like]…a pony and a chili dog.”

    Enough with the hero worship. I have enjoyed this thread immensely, and to those of you who have emailed me offering gratitude, bong hits and first-born children I can only say, “Thank You and stop stalking me already”.
    Now if only I could get my cash prize and a nice parting gift, I’ll be outta here. It’s not like I don’t have better things to do*.

    *Gadzooks watch thet girl play the tele! (click the nym link)
    Skinny flat-bottomed horse-faced white-women really do make the best country music.

  • Continuing to not be aware of all internet traditions can lead to mistaking 3B as a member’s only kind of place, but hey, if that’s what frozen heads are wearing these days, takes a little of the bite off the climate in the liquid nitro funny car.

    I leave you here at the end of things
    So to commune with your onion rings
    The best in the state they say

  • plover writes:

    Thanks, your stuff is okay too.

  • The amateur’s ellipses…so alluring!

  • While I admit that Ted Williams’ stunning basque-whackeresque professional debut has been astounding, I would suggest that Kathleen could take the prize for her tiny bursts of extreme quality. America decides tonight!

    At stake…

    the Golden Onion Wiener.

    Those are hushed, reverent tones you are detecting, and rightly so.

  • The amateur’s ellipses…so alluring!
    Indeed, and pantywaisting so construing!

  • I don’t think that kind of talk is very popular. Certainly you’d be handing the delicious fried onion mentioned above to the ravenous pregnant woman. So close.

  • While I admit that Ted Williams’ stunning basque-whackeresque professional debut has been astounding, I would suggest that Kathleen could take the prize for her tiny bursts of extreme quality.

    Meh. Okay give it to the fat chick, not like I really care.

  • I’d like to resurrect AG just for slappy here. Did he just set himself up for some personal filthbot? Yes, Ted, someone did “give” “it” to the the “fat” “chick.” It is perfectly natural, you wouldn’t understand with your decided, headless lack of human feeling.

    Oh slapper. Really.

  • OK, this has been a recreation of the descent into epic internet flame war. The recreation is over with CT and TW calling each other douches who write comments on the internet, mothers, basements, choadswagglers, etc.

    Thank everyone for a lovely time. Into obscurity we return.

  • OK, this has been a recreation of the descent into epic internet flame war. The recreation is over with CT and TW calling each other douches who write comments on the internet, mothers, basements, choadswagglers, etc.

    Thank everyone for a lovely time. Into obscurity we return.

    So I guess this means I win? Thanks. No need to send me the greasy pile of onions, the fear and awe of Trollypants and plover is satisfaction enough.

  • TW reminds me of Richard 23.

  • TW reminds me of Richard 23.
    You remind me of someone too, ever been on the usenets?
    Oh, and by the way, your blog blows, and all your friends blogs blow.
    But if you ever want another 150 post thread just call out for Ted Williams.

  • The flugle horn is much more subtle than a “blow.” We salute your friendly, childlike quality. The world is new once again!

  • Sorry, but your comment has been flagged by the spam filter running on this blog: this might be an error, in which case all apologies. Your comment will be presented to the blog admin who will be able to restore it immediately.
    You may want to contact the blog admin via e-mail to notify him.

    Oh flacidly fuck the blog admin. Let the gay flugle horn rule. cRush the oppostion videos, it is your pantywaisted blog.

  • I have no idea which Athens band you might be referring to, polover (if that is indeed your real name).

    However, I do recall a certain Party out of Bounds.

  • Would it be possible for the administrators of this blog to come out with a CliffsNotes version of this comment thread? While I would love to read it and enjoy it with the rest of you, my eyes can’t take it.

  • Zombies are not interested in fried onions.

    Dear HO, this is the Cliffs notes version of this thread.

  • I believe everyone should get an onion ring for participating.

    Also, no one should get more onion rings than anyone else.

  • That Golden Onion Wiener is totally hot.

  • That HO abbreviation in my prior comment should obviously have been a HC. or maybe HOC.

    I blame Plaxico’s Pistol. Or maybe Ted Williams’ neck.

  • I resent the implication that I am Pinko Punko’s friend.

    That is a most hurtful accusation and it infringes on my personhood. Zombiehood. Wev.

  • AG was e-mailed about PP asking for AG here. AG will not bother with some dude who refers to women as both “chicks” and “fat.” Largely because some dude who has never been ridden reverse cowgirl is not worthy of an AG smackdown. It’s simply too too easy.

    Much love to you, PP! I wish you and GC a happy holiday this year and a healthy new year. Long live your Kermie tree topper.

  • Happy holidays to you as well, AG. The boys say hi.

  • Well, that was sweet.

    Spirit of the Holidays, indeed!

  • Happy Holidays???

    I see the progressive blog-war on XXX-mass continues.


  • The Uncanny Canadian

    Yikes, the trolling just got really really intense. I’m concerned that the owners of this blog don’t seem to know when to stop and when something has gone on too long. Clearly, a refresher in Web-ettique 101 is called for here.

  • I’m afraid that having UC post the last word defeats the entire purpose of this thread.

  • ittdgy:

    For this thread though, doesn’t that mean UC should have the last word? However, now that I’ve said that, doesn’t it mean that UC shouldn’t? Does this mean that UC will now vanish in a puff of logic? That would be extra-supa uncanny, but not very half-assed. It would seem that the only solution is to lock UC in a box with a cat, a keyboard, and a radioactive trigger. Then he will be able to post a half-comment.

    I think 3 Bulls needs to consider more carefully before posting threads that require distortions of the space-time continuum to resolve. How will we ever get anyone to live in the reality-based community if bloggers keep going around changing reality?

  • Does this mean that UC will now vanish in a puff of logic?

    But that trick never works!

  • AG will not bother with some dude who refers to women as both “chicks” and “fat.”

    Seriously, who the fuck cares as long as I get the last word?

  • That sounds an awful lot like last-wordism.

    Sure, to someone of limited internet experience, it might indeed sound like what you quaintly call “last-wordism”, but it’s not. It is merely having the last word on a comment thread that should have died a peaceful death a month ago. Look if people don’t want to argue just because they have certain sexual preferences that clog their cognitive abilities, I’m cool with that, just say, “I refuse to argue because prefer sex with domesticated farm animals”. I figure, to each his/her own as long as i don’t have to watch it on YouTube while someone films my reaction.

  • as long as i don’t have to watch it on YouTube while someone films my reaction.

    That’s totally hot…

  • This isn’t the place where I start posting links to the guy with the glass jar, is it? I really hope it isn’t.

  • This isn’t the place where I start posting links to the guy with the glass jar, is it?

    I know you are trying, really I do. And I care. I’m a caring sort of person. Why just the other I helped an elderly gentleman down some stairs. Fragile pelvic bones on those old people. But enough about me, the problem I’m having is sustaining interest. Perhaps you chaps could up your game? Of course I’m not expecting much, maybe a picture of a Hostess cupcake in chaps? Or if you want to try something sexier, maybe a Suzy Q in a thong?

  • Am I the first to post at 3Bs! this year! Yeeehaaaah! Jinx! You owe me a Cherry Coke.

    Yehah? or Yehawh? Oh – damn you Onomatopoeia (????????????)!!!

    Oh? or Doh? Rats! Damn you need to always appear as if Simpsonized!!!

    Rats!? or Bsquawck!? Damn you 3Bulls! lingo!!!

    (Did I spell Bsquawck correctly? Oh – damn you Onomatopoeia (????????????)!!!)

    Great – here we go again – ??? finds him/her/it/birdself stuck in an INFINITE LOOP. (There went THAT resolution!)

  • Better stuck in an infinite loop of poop, ???.

  • At one point, my post read “Better than stuck…”

    But something happened.

  • Speaking of an infinite poop loop:

    “…during its life in the main sequence, the Sun is gradually becoming more luminous (about 10% every 1 billion years), and its surface temperature is slowly rising. The increase in solar temperatures is such that in about a billion years, the surface of the Earth will become too hot for liquid water to exist, ending all terrestrial life.”

    This is a bummer. We are about 1/2-way to the sun becoming a red giant – I thought that gave us another 4.5 billion years to evolve. Turns out we might only have 1 billion years left.

    Let’s see – human mutation rate is about 2.5×10^-8 per base per generation, with 6×10^9 bases and about 3.3×10^7 generations. 150 bases change over each generation, that gives us 5 billion bases changes, or potentially about 83% of the genome. This should represent a sufficient amount of genetic change for us to evolve into some sort of jello-like blob creature.

  • Well, you can just rock me to sleep tonight!

  • Like a hurricane?

    This blog used to be about something, man. Nowdays, there’s hardly any content, just a bunch of folks chatting and wasting bandwidth. You should be aware that Gaza is having the shit bombed out of it, no sleep for them!

    Also, Pinko renegs on prizes. Therefore, none of you are true liberals, and you likely eat cheetos. Also, the whole basement thing.

  • O I’ll eat your brainz Annie. Never said I wouldn’t.

  • You’d have to find them first, ZRM!

  • I fear this thread has descended into a maelstrom of mockery and mayhem.

    This is just the sort of thing that purveyors of responsible blogs (i.e. those that provide good taste, and also taste good) avoid.

    Return I shan’t.

  • All this typing is bullshit. You assholes forget that some us can’t read. Jerks.

  • now Ted Williams didn’t get the last word!!!! this whole blog is going to blow!!!!

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