Dearest commenters, the time of year is upon us when we look back at the year that was, and what a year it’s been. As resident ombirdspersonmoose, I have requested and been granted authority to host our inaugural (and probably final) Commenter’s Year-end spectacular!
There will be prizes, maybe, so pay attention.
Over the past year, and indeed beforehand, this blog has been blessed with a cornucopia of commenters, a hemisemidemijohn of half-assery, an abundance of acrimony, and other alliterations too assuredly agonizing to articulate. This has, naturally, given rise to some first-rate entertainment, and we feel this deserves recognition. Your editors and my humble self have scoured the archives to to pick out the finest of this past year’s comments. To wit:
The “Most Honoured Sir or Madam” award for name most likely to get caught in the spam filters: recent new meteorological commenting phenomenon ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©
Honourable mention: ??? [which I finally plugged into a translator after who knows how long-MenD]
Most entertaining non-troll trolling for purely humorous effect: Citrus Lover
Honourable mention: this entire thread
Dirtiest mind: Filthbot (determined after a three-way runoff. Ew) [heh-you said "three-way"-Filthbot]
Most likely to have their offspring be aware of all internet traditions: Kathleen
Most likely to finagle a club soda while carrying another man’s baby: ibid
Most deserving of more bourbon: Snag [hee, i was going to add this, but it is the same as that-PP]
Best bailout offer: Pinko Punko
Most serious pants: plover
Most welcome return: teh l4m3
Honourable mention: Gregor Samsa/PupH
Conspicuously absent: Jexter
Unhonourable mention: Canadian Curling Association
Best use of Chuck Norris outside of a wood chipper: this thread (and not because I sort of had the idea-MenD)
(Inside of a wood chipper it’s too dark to see… wait, what were we talking about?)
Most divisive/expansive: Random Randroid
Most unnutricious, and delicious: Snackie, care of Jennifer
Best cooperative storytelling/troubleshooting effort: courtesy of Shai
Best use of ALL CAPS: annie angel
Most conspicuous trolling of the ombirdspersonmoose: Mandos
Most goatsesque posting: Captain Trollypants
Best invocation of pie: mdh
Least convincing plug: Chuckles
Honourable mention: Plaxico Burress
Best story about racist assheads: Swoof
Best music-related pun thread: here
Best food related concern op-ed-ing: here
Saddest rhyming punnery: here
More awesome puns: here, also here.
Most effective summoning of Professor of Dangeral Studies: here
Most productive antagonization of plover: fish
Best?? battle rapping on 3B: Emuvosis!
Honorable mentions: (tie) Jonah getting it, and comment thread here.
Dishonourable mention: CAPTAIN TROLLYPANTS DEFECNDS JONAG GOLDBERG FROM STUPID THREE BULLS AND THERE STuPID BATTLE RAPS WITh AN AWESOME BATTLE RAP
Also: PODCATS STUPID LOOSERS.
Best battle rapping attacking 3B: annieangel here at RoD.
Emu of the Year: John Aravosis, exhibits a, b, c.
Honorable mention: entire primary weblogoverse, tangentially seriouspantsed here.
Unexpected Dune nerd smackdown, in character, in syntax: annieangel comment responding to Kathleen’s comment in this thread.
No one ever expects the spontaneous Yelp! off: Mandos.
Honorable mention: 3B vs. Kathleen.
Evidence of full ass, and/or IC3W3DG3: The Unannotated Liberal Style.
Best and Most Forgotten Secret Thread Still Active: Eschaton, bitches!
Best April Fools Day Joke: Gregor Samsa getting it from Three B!
The Giant Cosmic Letdown of the Eventually Pimped Take 5 (we miss Yosef).
Most Divisive Topic Amongst the 3B Family: Bob Somerby
Best Removal of Seriouspants on a Dime: 3B Commentariat (thread from above, exactly here.)
[Added by the editorial staff]
Most biologically indeterminate vertebrate: Mendacious D (Ombirdspersonmoose)
[Really, it was the editorial staff. Also all inconsistent formatting is completely my fault. Half-assing would demand no more/less-MenD]
—
I think you’ll agree: it was a particularly fine year. Here’s looking forward to the next year being even more full of meta-recursion, cobagitation, and awful, awful puns. We only have one wish for the new year that you keep sending us your Celeb Dream Cameos even if we are slow (half-assed) to post (sorry Chuckles, ZRM, Pinko). Also, an occasional Song of the Day, maybe? Even a Delish or Disgust?
You really do make it worthwhile. Keep up the good work, munchloaves!
Love,
3Bulls! LLC, vowing never to go F-book velvet rope on you, even if we secretly wonder what a fish v. plover Scrabble would be like.
So many comments, I can’t moderate them fast enough!
Oh, how you tease me.
I think, however, I have found this year’s must-have gift for everyone.
We could have posted a one line pun based on household spices and had 50 comments by now.
Like, “hey, do you happen to have the thyme?”
or: “that was some sage advice”
or: “cumin out of the cold before you catch pneumonia”
Pathetic.
The lack of chive talk is really getting me down.
Comment, dammit! I demand validation!
Get it from eBayleaf.
It took me this long to read the whole post!!
My review is that the Year in Review post wins the Best Post of the Year.
Seemed to be a bit more than .5 ass.
“It’s just your chive talkin’
You’re pungent and ripe, yeah,
Chive talkin’
you’re tasty all right
Chive talkin’,
you grow in the mud, yeah,
Chive talkin’,
you’re best on a spud.”
Thank you to Kathleen for being so nice.
The rest of you deserve some permarjoramative words to decribe your lack of commenting!
Don’t strain yourself Pinko.
I found the perfect holiday gift for Three Bulls this year.
and Snag
Catmint got their tongues, though it’s possible this is just a result of breaking the half-asafoetida rule.
I was slaving away at work!
I am so happy to have won an award.
Wait until I tell my family!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
~
SOMEONE OWES ME A YOUTUBE! I’M LOOKING AT YOU, PUNKO!!!
Someone needs to turmeric this thread around. Some oreganal jokes for once.
I think we’re getting Caradaway with this spice pun thing.
You are receiving a chili reception MenD because you failed to mention important scholarly works like the LOLCat bible translations…
I vote for Kathleen!
You know Pinko, now that El Snacktator is thriving on Facebook, and even has a stalker or two, he’s like The Ropers to Three Bulls Company! Not that I’m trying to curry favor…
fish,
I think that was last year. Not this year. Last year.
Do you suppose MenD feels the lovage yet?
Or has he written us off as just more borage?
2 points to #11
I am not a number.
I am a free man!
It’s all about Eve.
I mean, me!
~
I think that was last year. Not this year. Last year.
Thyme flies! Stupid thyme.
You set me up! I should brine you.
Fruit flies like a banana. Thyme flies like an arrowroot.
I decided to combine the best of the Year in Review with this thread’s Spice Theme. Four Stars:
fulsome and I can attest to the above review. The music videos are entrancing in a horrifying way.
Ten points to Kathleen.
ITTDGY: are you telling anise or a nephew?
You set me up!
I hate to broast, but yeah.
Where’s that completely nonsensical and awesome post that Thers linked to from Eschaton just to confuse everyone?
I can’t parsley your question.
I can’t parsley your question.
I am being peppered by spice puns.
I am also awed by the awesomeness of this post.
The language is getting a little salty around here, as Basil Fawlty would say. Thyme for me to get on my horseradish and ride out of here, try to find some more savory characters to run with.
I comment here very gingerly. You never know what will cause someone to bust a nutmeg. [request to ed/ombuds.: can I have a ruling on whether that is a sexist remark?]
Seeing as no one has objected thus far, we’ll let it slide for the time being.
In all fairness, it could have been worse.
There are only a handful of days left in 2008, the year in which Pinko has promised to deliver my prize. Only a handful!
It’s ok, everyone always forgets about poor little Annie, they make her promises of Shoelimpy bashing youtubes, and they don’t follow through.
I’m sad. I’m lonely. No one loves me. And it’s Christmas.
Oddly enough, AA’s shoutout was courtesy of one Pinko Punko.
See? We do care!
Anyone not participating in the group hug will be flogged.
That doesn’t sound like anise thing to do.
If you are under 21 in the group hug you will be cardomomed.
Group hug? No patty-fingers, if you please.
Hey, where’d the comment feed go? A day without comment feed is like a day without trying to decipher how exactly the bailout is like is like unto a black hole, like maybe the spiders on the money must be those tunnel-building trapdoor-type spiders only invisible and dense and with event horizons.
Awwwwwwwww, you love me! You really kinda do!
((((hugs)))) all around!
ZOMG SCANDAL!!!1!! MUST CREDIT!!!
“I’ll take missing bloggers for $200, Alex.”
“This blogger at 3bulls! failed to get a shoutout in this post through a grievous oversight, and probably bourbon.”
Anyone? Geez I feel bad now.
Least convincing plug: Honourable mention: Plaxico Burress
I think you deserve both a Hug and a Beavis Dance for that one, Mendacious D.
tigger-
Feed is here?
“I’ll take “Infamous Canadians” for 200, Alex, no offense, you bastard!”
we still love you annie
What. Ev. Ah. @ U.
http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/2008/12/thats-right-even-more-bacon-cupcake.html
Off topic, but it’s bacon on a cupcake! And it looks good!
Pinko, that’s the url I have, but I see nothing when I open the feed source page and nothing appears in my viewer. When I live-bookmark it in FF it tells me the feed failed to load, and when I try to get there via the bookmark link it says the url is invalid.
I looked at it in Safari and it took awhile to load, but eventually did. Let me look under the hoodie.
try this:
feed://blog.3bulls.net/wp-commentsrss2.php
although sometimes you need to change “feed” to “http”
I just added that to g-reader no problem. Dont try to get out of commenting here. We are desperate. We will shower you with spider money.
We will shower you with spider money.
Now there’s a good question: what currency could be offered for 3B?
OT, but VITALLY IMPORTANT:
LUCIFER THE ORANGE, LEAKY ASS-DOG HAS ATTAINED FULL FRITO. NOW I’M HUNGRY.
DEVELOPING…..
Still doesn’t work for me on either FF or Trillian, but I can see stale, day-old comments on Yahoo. I’m confuzzled.
We will shower you with spider money.
Balloon spiders!
~
tigroni, looks like you’ll just have to camp out in comments awaiting nuggets of amusement, or perhaps puppy frito action!
Nuggets of bemusement, perhaps.
Also, based on rigorous scientific observation (a friend told me) I have determined that the large amounts of salt on the roads and sidewalks can cause full frito.
Full Frida would, of course, be preferable, but the odds of this occurring are both staggering and comforting at the same time.
I can’t even imagine the value of balloon spiders. You could buy DailyKos with that.
I predict the spider balloon will soon pop.
Time to put your spider dollars into pork.
Spider balloon valuation is not a balloon. It will expand forever. I plan to take out SBDS (spider balloon default swaps) and leverage them into more spider balloon investments.