Markos, who may have been infected with something during a visit to the offices of The New Republic, has, in a six word post, revealed the real agenda behind the Mo’ Betta Democrats push of the netroots. The post is entitled War and reads:
Today, the war against birdofascism begins.
The comments are as bloodthirsty as one might expect, Democrats orange in tooth and claw. Obviously these are people for whom even being a hawk isn’t good enough — they want to conquer both the doves and the hawks, and the pelicans and whippoorwills to boot.
How long before Obama says that countries that have bird sanctuaries are equivalent to those that directly sponsor acts of birdiness?
Mammals of conscience should consider donating some fur to BOFFFo (Bring Out Fur For Fowl), who will be setting up centers to provide birds with alternate identities that may afford them the chance of being able to move about more easily in the months and years ahead. Bats who are willing to teach birds to hang upside-down and fly funny or who can help in the development of echolocation prostheses are also needed.
We have already received word that several groups of collaborationist flightless birds will be given roles as (ka)kapos by the incoming administration — the usual imperial strategy of giving power to a minority in an oppressed population to rule over the rest.
These are the last days before the machinery of oppression begins to close in. We must use our freedom while we still can. We hope those that stand with us against this existential threat will show their solidarity, joining together for mass acts of public birdiness in the days and weeks to come.
Poop on heads!!!!!!
I could get to like these Democrats!
I cannot eat the branes of someone with bird poop on their heads…
But birds are safe from the not-quite-dead menace; they have very small branes.
Alas, the Canadian Geesofasciterrorislamocommies have already one.
Why didn’t we stop this Geestapo menace before it was too late??1!!
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SQUAWK!
Were they… Canada Geese?
Never trust drier vertebrates.
Speciesist!
It sounds plover is not with us, and furthermore is against us and with the enemy. Obviously he/she/it/bird should be rendered to Abu Grebe.
Goose-steppers, the lot of you!
Plover is a stool pigeon, and it is time that he/she/it/bird faced an imperchment trial.
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I can’t help but notice that my cry for action has fallen upon deafearosaurus.
Right your congeesecritters, before it is too late!
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I’m heron ya.
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No surprise, there.
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Here is a thing.
And here is thing 2.
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Sweet humpbacked Jesus, she’s getting married.
To one of her commenters.
I was waiting for someone to get to it here.
Come on, surely even the Bullsies would not be so crass as to ridicule her on such a joyous occasion?
Cuz that would be serious pants-assery.
Certainly not! That sort of conduct would be unbecoming for a blog of this stature.
Obligatory threadjacking:
Ann Althouse’s wedding will be so non-partisan…
heh.
MenD said hump….
In fact, Ezra Klein’s tweet about me is an outrageous lie, and he owes me a correction and an apology. Immediately.
actually the bestest ever is the first comment to her post:
I couldn’t touch that because my empathy chip kicked in and said this is not for kicking.
What can I say? I suck. Although if we were to remove ourselves to the Tonga Room, I could be persuaded to have something to say.
But you shirley must approve of this, Mr. P. Punko:
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I don’t think so, thunder.
If the entire interwebs was to become Bullsy, it would easily exceed .5 ass.
Uh, like matter and anti-matter, ass and no ass inexorably lead to 0.5% ass.
IFTDGY- you know I forgot that I saw that many moons ago until it was pointed to me by Auguste of P-gon. I distinctly remember j’accusing Gregor Samsa and he swore to me that he was not responsible. I think this is a case of convergent simile evolution. It would be irresponsible to conclude otherwise [YOSEF???????].
I do wish those akin to emus a happy and hearty nuptivity.
If the entire interwebs was to become Bullsy, it would easily exceed .5 ass.
And the concern would be that then we could no longer fit into our serious pants?
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It is time… for SCIENCE!
A brief history of time-wasting is in order:
In the very earliest stages of the Blogosphere, when heads were just beginning to explode all over the internet, there was a highly uneven distribution of ass. Evidence of this is plainly observable today as a slight increase in background levels of ass, and has in fact been witnessed in the vicinity of this blog.
Back in the time of proto-blogs, there was a period of link recombination, during which time the cosmic background radiation levels of ass (commonly referred to as “butt-prints”) slowly spread out, allowing for the formation of comments and, later, trackbacks. This laid the foundation for the current iteration of the blogosphere.
By and large, however, the BP level of 0.5 has remained stable for quite some time. It has been theorized (Frankfurter et al) that given that we have been unable to detect any significant deviations above BP (although the total absence of BP has been noted around the Malkin Nebula) that BP’ may only exist at the very centre of the Blogosphere.
Bacon may also be involved, but the evidence is purely anecdotal. The Royal Society of Astronoblogistry and Really Neat Hats will be discussing this at their next Congress.
Obviously further funding and study is required. Does anyone have at two-for-one coupon for time at the Heh Telescope and Navel Observatory? I spent all mine at their last happy hour.
I thought butt-prints were a result of photocopiers.
In any case, do you really think they’ve accounted anusotropic effect of trying to measure BP from the vicinity of 3B?
It’s also necessary to remember that BP is a relative measure used due to the problems measuring absolute levels of tuckusons.
At one point, 3B did provide a diagram of how Serious Pants appears in these theories.
My esteemed colleague is correct in pointing out the necessity of objective measure, but as fig. 4 demonstrates, the pulling on of one leg necessitates, from time to time, the pulling on of the other. I theorize that this would account for the aforementioned variation.
Tuckuson interference is obviously a mitigating factor, as are a number of other nebulous sources. Observations indicate that these levels will decline over time, at least locally, providing us with more accurate measurements.
Unfortunately this will also mean we will be more exposed to some of the more toxic elements in the vicinity. While some have been neutralized through a combination of derision and mockery (see: Goldberg, J.) new methods and defences will have to be developed.
This is the way the world ends
this is the way the world ends
this is the way the world ends
not with a bang, but with a cobag.
I would like to point out that as you approach the speed of light, your butt gets significantly wider. Fortunately this is counterbalanced by the fact that its height gets much shorter. This is a well documented phenomenon outlined in the 4th law of thermodynamics, i.e. conservation of (m)ass. It does, however, have the disturbing effect of causing Sir Mixalot to make a pass at you.