A new era of bipartisanship

To begin, we present a brief excerpt from the proceedings of the Annual General Meeting of the Itty Bitty Kitty Kattwood Committee:

The Chair recognizes the ungulate in the grey fedora.

Thank you, Madam Ottoman. I would like to take a point of personal privilege to address a minor issue of disagreement amongst the delegates that has been brewing for some time. As we all know, a recent fracas, or rumpus, erupted amongst the membership regarding the tolerance, or lack thereof, of blue M&Ms. While this is in direct violation of the articles of the Wonka Charter, we do not wish for the situation to get out of hand.

Therefore, we have taken it upon ourselves to broker a potential solution to this conflict. I give you: personalized M&Ms. You may now consume each other in effigy and in whatever colour you wish. Thank you for your time.

Moving on, we find that our declared enemy, the Canadian Curling Association, is defaming the sport with its usual talent. Witness the following photograph attached to a press release on the Canadian Junior Curling Championship being held in sunny Salmon Arm, British Columbia:

I cannot even begin to contemplate a polite caption for this.

We are somewhat flummoxed to see this questionable improvement in the quality of the CCA’s coverage of the Junior tournament. It’s bad enough that Monsanto sponsors the Continental Cup. It’s bad enough that the CCA hires PR flacks that Glenn Reynolds would be ashamed to employ. But that photo takes the maple-glazed biscuit.

Really, CCA? You couldn’t hire a competent photographer? Really? The best you could do was a screen-grab off the TV? This is the support you give to the emerging generation? It makes me want to weep into my Tim Horton’s coffee.

(This concludes the Canadian Content portion of this post.)

Meanwhile, we came across this during our morning grazing. We are glad to find that the contributions of American-Canadian ungulates to Total Internet Tradition Awareness™ are finally being recognized.

Also regarding local traditions, it has been suggested that the ever-escalating bacon wars may perhaps require some kind of treaty or convention, to prevent the emergence of massive arsenals of snorkelage. Or snorklage. The first order of business shall be to determine the adjective form of the pork snorkel, with attendant regulations to follow.

Any other business?

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