To begin, we present a brief excerpt from the proceedings of the Annual General Meeting of the Itty Bitty Kitty Kattwood Committee:
The Chair recognizes the ungulate in the grey fedora.
Thank you, Madam Ottoman. I would like to take a point of personal privilege to address a minor issue of disagreement amongst the delegates that has been brewing for some time. As we all know, a recent fracas, or rumpus, erupted amongst the membership regarding the tolerance, or lack thereof, of blue M&Ms. While this is in direct violation of the articles of the Wonka Charter, we do not wish for the situation to get out of hand.
Therefore, we have taken it upon ourselves to broker a potential solution to this conflict. I give you: personalized M&Ms. You may now consume each other in effigy and in whatever colour you wish. Thank you for your time.
Moving on, we find that our declared enemy, the Canadian Curling Association, is defaming the sport with its usual talent. Witness the following photograph attached to a press release on the Canadian Junior Curling Championship being held in sunny Salmon Arm, British Columbia:
We are somewhat flummoxed to see this questionable improvement in the quality of the CCA’s coverage of the Junior tournament. It’s bad enough that Monsanto sponsors the Continental Cup. It’s bad enough that the CCA hires PR flacks that Glenn Reynolds would be ashamed to employ. But that photo takes the maple-glazed biscuit.
Really, CCA? You couldn’t hire a competent photographer? Really? The best you could do was a screen-grab off the TV? This is the support you give to the emerging generation? It makes me want to weep into my Tim Horton’s coffee.
(This concludes the Canadian Content portion of this post.)
Meanwhile, we came across this during our morning grazing. We are glad to find that the contributions of American-Canadian ungulates to Total Internet Tradition Awareness™ are finally being recognized.
Also regarding local traditions, it has been suggested that the ever-escalating bacon wars may perhaps require some kind of treaty or convention, to prevent the emergence of massive arsenals of snorkelage. Or snorklage. The first order of business shall be to determine the adjective form of the pork snorkel, with attendant regulations to follow.
Any other business?
The potential for abuse of the m&m feature is appalling.
At least, if this bunch has anything to say about it.
I expect to see photos and/or lawsuits presently.
Now you can truly EAT IT.
Snorklistic?
Also, why is the MSM silent about the widespread doping in the CCA? Those two competitors are clearly high.
Snorkeltastic.
Tasty, and snorkelly.
~
Why is the CCA posting candid shots of teenagers taking a poop?
“Reading this beautifully written and extraordinarily diverse blog today is what it must have been like to know or read Jefferson then. The 3 Bulls have crafted an experience in understanding that allows us to glimpse the genius that Jefferson was, and to click away from the blog astonished by the talent this extraordinary bloggers are.”–Lawrence Lemur, Professor of Law, Suckford Law School, and author of Emus and Other Laws of Cyberspace and Remix
Kathleen wins, mainly because I’m not sure whether the errors were intentional or not.
Now that is military-grade meta-in-jokiness…
But if it had referenced Joey the Lemur, it would have broken the Bulls with win.
Snorkelpudlian?
Or Snorkleputian?
Also, it appears our modest efforts at improving the language are gaining ground. Ben Nelson on the stimulus:
“We’ve trimmed the fat, fried the bacon, and milked the sacred cows.”
Keep up the good work, people!
but what if I wanted to trim the cow, milk the bacon and fry the fat?
I believe procedural amendments can be submitted through the Ways and Means Committee. Or possibly the neighs and moos committee. One of those two.
Isn’t democracy delicious?
What if one wanted to chuck the chundermuffins, quarantine the cobags, and milk the emus?
What then?
~
Ben Nelson forgot the churning of the chunderbutter. Creamy, creamy chunderbutter. Now with Salmonella.
Re the kid on the right, is curling ice skittles? Looks like he misplaced the rainbow, at any rate.
How can they be playing winter sports in the middle of summer? I knew global warming was a hoax!
No chocolate skittles on the ice, people!
Blue skittles are ok though?
A question for the ombudspersonmoosefishmarsupial….why is it “once, twice, three times a lady”? Why not ‘thrice’ or ‘one’ and ‘two’? This has been bugging me for a while. Please respond.
Uh, it’s unce, tice, fee times.
fee times a mady.
Gregor Samsa: I believe it’s poetic licence strictly to keep time with the melody. And “thrice” is more of a foreign affectation, and therefore unlikely to have been welcomed in American audiences (see Tea Party, The and/or Boston)
But the Buckwheat cover is, I think, seminal.
that ties in so nicely with a recent conversation at our house:
“Pink Panther 2??! Really?”
“Once Steve Martin ruins a character, it’s eternally his.”
MD, you had to go there didn’t you?
I am merely pointing out the historical (but perhaps not contemporary) anti-colonial bias in the US.
Also, I am happy to have more nemeses. It validates my position.
Well, I have hated Men D for a long time.
Canuck branes disagree with my delicate constitution though.
And we don’t validate. Pay for your own damn parking.
“Who baptised you?”
“Uh, Father Per Diem.”
Nothing wrong with Per Diem.
It beats working for scale(s).
~
I knew fish would beat me to the poop joke.