Halloween is the birthday of two of Yosef’s children, Yobags 1 and 2 and Yobaggette and Yobagatina! Happy Halloween kiddos! All you cobags, too! If you have a good costume you get some of this:
If your costume sucks or isn’t scary enough, this cat will infiltrate your home and use your toothbrush. This pic is from a raid on The Editors. Eat it cobaggos! Dress up in comments! I wonder what kind of candy Freedom Camp, Republic of Dogs, Well Rounded Nerds, Pandagon, and Sadly, No! will be giving out?????
Yumth. Thith tathte Gaviny. Thpt!
UPDATE- lamo costumes get Banana Runts AND the cat-licked toothbrush (res publica and I agree on the Banana Runts- blech!)
You know, that MJ chick is pretty hot. In my dojo, if we ever had a non-voting sweet thing like that, I would shave my head and take my flaming sword to her turtleneck to expose her pristine white neck, and then I would use the Smiling Heron offense to take her down (with extreme force because she shouldn’t be there if she can’t handle it!) and then I might try some Martial Arts wrestling moves while she’s down, if you know what I mean.
Trick or Treat!
Oh, you just made me crap my pants. That is way scary! Here’s your king size Take 5 bar!
I’m funny! Trick or treat!
EAT LEAD, SUCKY DUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*BLAM* *BLAM*
That’s what we call a pre-emptive trick, cobaggos.
Me? I’ll be passing out Sully-brand SmegBalls (sweet *and* salty? No way!). Oh, and apples. Health, delicious Gala apples: No, dear little Yobagatina, those aren’t razor blades — they’re vitamins…
Who, me? I’m both a trick and a treat.
[Titter, giggle, titter].
Thatg might get the cat AND a Take5 teh l4m3.
Fawn Hall gets a bar only if she has the zebra print top and a shredder.
Happy birthdays to all Yobags 1 and 2 and Yobaggette and Yobagatina! And Happy Halloween to All!
Ha Ha Ha!!
How many pictures of cats and toothbrushes are there????
Take5 for Dick Durata!! Stealthy master of the interwebs!
I’m givin’ out syringes and apples with razor blades inim.
I pray for you paganous evil liberals who are kept far away from God whil you celebrate your evil holyday in you bog of contemtuous peril. It saddens me that people who are my opposites and I want to sleep with (although I have to be married first!) would stoop so low as to not appreciate the true reason for the season. You say you are not evil, yet you disgise yurselfs as demonspawn and smegballs and sweet young Jonah Goldberg as you posin the younger among you and myself with razors in candy corn and kittens. I do love kittebns but you are evil adn therefore I cry that you have destroyed the souls of kittens throughout this world and the next one as well too. If only my dear sweet Gavin would come and save me from the hordes of blasphemous evil liberals who think it is a hoot to dress up like evil incarnate as I used to in college too years ago but I saw the light and realized that one who serves two masters cannot have one of them being God and money or candy corn or the evil kittens who I do love and I cry and pray for you daily. I once had Dr. BLT write me a song but then I saw he was dressing up for halloween as a pimp-like Jeff Goldblum who I despise for his embracing of science over the true science which is intelligent desgin for “…On the 7th dya He rested…” and yesterday was the Sabbath but it is unholy toady for you evil liberals whom i love and pray for even though we are opposties are degrading the nature of this day when one could be at church hiding away from the pagans who are bent on giving poinus razors through canby bars to young children who’s parents should be removed form society for allowing them to behave in this manner even though they now that all TRUE Christians should follow the word and look at aborted fetuses in the holy hellhouses that my church will put on and as i sit here writing this in my 3B! thong that someon so gfraciously sent to me (Thank you! I’m praying for you!) I cry because the kittens are no longer innocent and sing my self to sleep with BLT songs because i have not yet seen the new MGT in which I thought i would be in to play ab ig part because I need to laugh at how you evil liberals distort and main my image althought be patient because God isn’t finished with me yet. You will all burn in hell but I pray for you to and not to beacuase the Lord says we should love even our enemies although it is hard but I love Gavin and Brad and Gorge and most of all BLT and Judson Cox.
Farewlel for mow ny evil liberals friends who I pray for and go forth and sin no more.
-MJ
People Political
BTW, love the Take 5 Ricky Rudd #21 car!
I thought of the vagina in many ways– physically, conceptually: as a sculptural form, an architectural referent, the sources of sacred knowledge, ecstasy, birth passage, transformation. I saw the vagina as a translucent chamber of which the serpent was an outward model: enlivened by it’s passage from the visible to the invisible, a spiraled coil ringed with the shape of desire and generative mysteries.
A spiraled coil I call Banana Runts.
If babana runts aren’t phallic then what is? Scalito needs to open his eyes. They are a tool of the patriarchy, repressing us all and keeping us from the round wholesome gooness of orange and lime.
Also, I gots my candy up and no takers. Even my virtual Halloween is feeling pretty lame.
Hi PP!
I always dress up — but just as a witch to scare the kids — I answer the door right after I hit the fog machine and the scary music plays on our stereo that we have positioned in the front window.
But, my son will definitely deserve a Take 5 bar….
He’s wearing one of his dad’s suits and a tie. He’ll be on crutches, too.
He’s going as Scooter Libby — and instead of saying “trick or treat,” he’s going to say — in a very evil voice — “Give me candy or the roots of your aspens will forever remain in clusters….”
The thing to remember about pork is not to overcook it, because it gets so dry. Keep it pretty pink in the middle so it stays nice and moist. In fact, the redder the better.
MMM, pork tartar.
Huh. Can we not picture Scalito anywhere near a vagina, pleeeeeease?
Man, I knew teh was a greedy bastard but I wouldn’t think his tastes ran that way.
To each his (or her) own, I guess.
Kids, you are awesome. I’m under the gun this week-more later- candy for everyone!!!!!!
So I see one of you scary lefties is trying to say you are the hottest young conservative writer on the internet. I found that out by googling myself. Well, let me tell you this story:
My wife dragged me to a dinner with some of her friends. Why do I italicize that? Because they were, get this, liberals!! But they’d have to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to the Sears, if you take my meaning. Oh they were nice enough people, but they kept trying to offer me some type of hippie-granola food. I said, in no uncertain terms, that with halloween coming up, all I wanted was candy, and not any of their neo-marxist tree-hugging food. Damn good thing I did too. Next thing you know they were tripping (probably from marijuana in the food) and then they tried to start talking politics to me, and started cursing at me and wishing me dead for supporting THE President. But stupid hippies started going into convulsions and the wife died from eating their marijuana-laced granola, commie-lovin’, Hitlery votin’-for food.
Stupid lefties.
My Friend Pinko,
I am so happy to hear the news that your principles have let you return to work. It is important to work. I’d like to let you know, you whom I love, that these will be the last verses I write to you. I have left my work, because it is that time of year when I take my holidays out west. The prison walls will be turning moldy. They are linked together by bricks, mortar, concrete and steel. Somewhere, a dog barks. Somewhere.
I knew a woman once, and how I loved her! And perhaps she loved me. She went to jail for me, and she should be saving me now, but loving is short and forgetting is so long.
Pinko, I am happy for you. Please let me come home to my family… and life.
Fulsome, you know what I meant, you filthy little Mission rat.
The most wonderful day of satan worshipping all year and I done been suffering. So, did this Alito guy completely ruin Halloween or what?
In a late, greedy grab for candy, I give you my Halloween card. Remember that every time a doorbell rings, a demon kitten gets its wings.
CANDY FOR ALL MY MINIONS!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry I had to ruin your revelry with Alito, that’s why I’m the devil. I’M SUCH A STINKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!