Three Bulls! Gone Wild!

We’ve all heard the news – The Grown Ups are out of town for a week and Pinko Punko didn’t say nothing about not having no PARTY!

Joan Cusack Party0.jpg

And now we have our assignment from Adorable Girlfriend:

“So long as what we do is legendary, involves waking up in another country, Pinko’s head nearly explodes and most importantly: we don’t get caught with our mitts in the cookie jar… I promise, you will wake up with someone else’s clothes on, little memory of what happened and a pink flamingo flapping in the wind will be the only noise you understand in the morning.”

And the best news yet: GIRLS ARE ALLOWED!

116 Responses to “Three Bulls! Gone Wild!”

  • Overheard at the party:

    Teh l4m3: Hey Gregor, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

    Gregor: Ok.

    Res: Hellz Yeah!

  • Well at least you didn’t degrade us by posting an image from Risky Business!

  • Hey we should totally throw a party. I mean Mom and Dad are gone and? it?s Halloween Carnival. We could totally get away with it.

  • Okay, but it has to be small, all right?

  • I am thinking Revenge of the Nerds meets Animal Party.

    I can supply the gaggle of non practicing lesbians.

    The Punkos are going to be pissed…

  • PupH: You can piss anywhere you want this weekend! Dad will never know.

    Bonus points for hitting the wall and Pinko’s prized collection of soft boy-on-boy porn.

  • Great, Gavin already has his shirt off and the party has even started yet.

    Hey, can we make one room of this a foam party?

  • Watch it, Solar Babe, I got eyes in the back of my head.

  • LET”S TRASH THIS MOFO!!@!!!!!!!!!!11!!

  • C’mon Teh, let’s get some vodka on the way to the mall…that way we can get tore up AND dressed for the party at the same time. It’s gonna be a gayz gone wild spring break 3-pack up in that joint. Pass me the zanex, por favor.

  • Bonus points for hitting the wall and Pinko’s prized collection of soft boy-on-boy porn.


  • Umm…and make that XANAX. Damned internets.

  • “Watch it, Solar Babe, I got eyes in the back of my head.”

    Pinko must be talking to the voices in his head because there is no one here named ‘Solar Babe’.

    Boys, who is calling in the 28 pizzas to be delivered to the neighbors? When they arrive someone keeps the guy busy next door while homie-g gets them out of his car.

    My mom is springing for the four kegs and six pack of Zima for the nerds.

    Whose mom is springing for the birth control?

    Pup H: Pee away!

    Res: Bring lots of pretty boys with you. Me likes pretty boys!

    Gavin: Show me your boobs!

  • Can I poo in the house? I love pooing…oh I’m PP and GC’s dog. My brother Pugman will be there too. Make sure you bring PupH

  • Whoa, all of the sudden this place seems pretty cool! I guess it was PP bringing y’all down here.

    Hey, anyone know why PP keeps all this saran wrap lying around?

  • Shorts: You rock! Which one of my lipstick girls do you want? If you are good, perhaps a little rainbow party in the closet when we play ‘seven minutes in heaven’ can be arranged for you?

  • It’s gonna be awesome….AG is bringing the slutty girls, Teh and I are (and are bringing) the slutty boys, and unlike Helen Lawson’s Broadway, this party definitely goes for booze and dope!

  • Dope? Oh no he didn’t …

    Hee hee.

    I got in trouble with Uncanny already. So, keep the AG representing at the party, underwraps. (I know you boys will). Don’t worry though, I will sneak out of my bedroom window and be mad loving at the party.

  • I gave a flyer to the guys at S,N! so hopefully they’ll show up.

    Who’s bringing the whip-its?

  • Whippits are too hard. Too much work when you’re already in a k-hole.

  • Whip-its? That is high school stuff. I heart you Yosef, but it ranks up there with fake tattoos. Let Yo #24.5 do that while you are at the party.

    How about some X and a ‘little jungle juice’. We will be wicked silly by dawn.

    I feel like Res is the only one with me on the naughty behavior. (And I already got in trouble from Pinko and UC and you don’t see me backing down). It should involve some bomb ass chronic and the possibility that a young girl has become a mother before Pinko is back.

    I am thinking clown suits, Bacardi 151, arrests, illegal activities six ways from Sunday, pin the tail on Scalito and a midget would be nice too.

    The rentals are out of town for the love of pork, peeps!


  • AG, if the party gets lame, we’ll take it back to my place. In the Republic, our National Motto is “Whatevah! We do what we want!” It’s all about booze and pills and lots of firm-yet-trampy college boys.

  • AG, I’m right there for teh naughty, but it sounds like you’re already bringing everything we need, I was just trying to throw in a few other ideas.

  • Sorry Yo, my bad! You get an extra seven minutes with one of the crack whores or a midget. Your choice.

    I am always willing to hook up a fella here at the “Running of the Bulls 2005”!

  • Yosef: whip it out, we’re comparing.

  • Crack whore OR a midget….you mean there’s no midget crack-whore? What kind of sunday-school tea-party is this??

  • Can we invite MJ and Jonah? Pretty please. I’ll never ask for another thing again if you let me.

    You know Pinko would have my arse in a sling for that. I say they join us in the naked pool party events.

    Maybe Jonah will finally get a woody when he sees Scalito and Cheney making out on the patio. I know I am getting one just thinking about it.

    At the very least I say we let Jonah take one of Pinko’s puppies home as a party favor.

    OK, I am going to get in so much trouble for the party favors. UC told me to behave while he is at his meeting and we all know that I haven’t even tried doing that. I am guessing he and Pinko are going to try to put me in the doghouse for at least two years.

    Whatever, as long as you guys visit me and someone sneaks me a bootleg copy of the Beastie Boys, it won’t be so bad.

  • You can come comment and/or guest-blog at the Republic, dear. I wouldn’t hold out too much hope for Jonah getting a stiffie, though. Or at least one that you could actually see.

  • I think his parts are…you know…inside.

  • I would heart blogging and commenting over at the Republic. And if I can drop the f-bomb, bonus!

    Where do I sign-up?

  • HA! I routinely carpet-f-bomb my domestic enemies! I am a ruthless, iron-fisted dictator of FUN!!!!

    Send me an email at republicofdogs at gmail dot com and I’ll hook you up.

  • i’m bringing the turntables and bean dip.

    no requests, please.

  • OK, Pop! Do be sure to bring some Michael Jackson, Gloria Gaynor and Dolly Parton. The Zima drinkers are going to need something … And just for UC, do be sure to bring ‘chick'(whatever-ah) singer music because he wants to hear a lot of it. Points for Canadians like Alanis and Sarah Mc. He especially goes crazy for Madonna.

    The music should be flowing like the drinks, though. Please ensure the sound quality is good because we won’t be happy until at least three middle aged couples and one elderly couple in the cul-de-sac complain and the pigs come by for their donuts and slap and tickle from the pretty girls.

    The golden rule will be if anyone complains about the music, have them seem me at the door. I am homie-g at this function and I got your back. I have an Uncle Tiny who neither my uncle nor tiny, who can make sure they are never heard from again.

    For the non bulls, how much should we charge at the door? I think we should make a little profit on this. Then we can donate it to the ‘Jonah can shampoo my crotch fund’.

  • Damn! You said “Zima-drinkers” and called the cops “pigs” in a single post. I…I think I love you!

  • Be sure to let everyone know that donations to the “Jonah Can Shampoo My Crotch Fund” can be made payable to either Res Publica or Adorable Girlfriend. It’s a joint account. Bwahahahahahaha!

  • Believe you me, if you lived with and loved the worlds biggest f-bomb dropper you to would have a limit to your intake on bad words. RP, you get a spanking because I know your THINKING about the f word.

  • Yay for spankings! Don’t worry, we’ll be doing that at the party too 😉

  • by the way, everyone be sure to come by the Republic tomorrow. I’m going to find the cheeziest, skankiest gay personals I can, and post them on my blog, complete with pictures! Everyone will hate me, it’s gonna be great!

  • Oh my goodness Res, someone FINALLY hearts me! I have hearted like everyone on this blog once, but did anyone show me the love? Oh no… Even after I agreed to bring all the nipple queens to the party. Yet, Res it’s your heart and my ‘secret blogger’crush(don’t tell UC, he doesn’t know about my extra curricular man crush) that I want.

    I will so be at the Republic tomorrow. My blog is all about Craig’s List guys who write ads and how pathetic they are. And let me tell you, they make the Zima drinkers look like beach ball cuties in skimpies. How about I get a corner of the Republic to educate single women out there? Straight, lonely and lame,single men today are just so easy. And sadly, I never bore of it.

    What is Mom doing here? Shite, I hope she didn’t see us. Did you guys hide the whoopie cushions and party hats. I don’t want it to be all, “wait until your father gets home.”

    Who is writing the bizarro poop shoot tomorrow? And Delicious or Disgusting regarding edible S and M stuff? Come on boys, there is a few of you out there, and by that I mean those who have the passwords to the blog, who have the power to totally turn this blog upside down over the next week.

  • Check this out, did you know that in cuba, they call their brand of socialism “Fidelismo” after Fidel Castro? That’s totally awesome. I henceforth declare that the system of political economy in the Republic of Dogs is to be called Cobagismo.

  • I totally don’t have a password to this blog, and I’m pretty sure Geenie likes it that way. But they let that miscreant Yosef post here. I bet if you show him your rack, he’ll do whatever you want. I think delicious or disgusting needs to be about flavored condoms (hint: the answer is “disgusting”).

    And I super-heart you, AG!

  • No, GC hearts you Res. She also wants to be part of the Republic. . I think all you have to do is ask PP for the passcodes.He’s a sucker for a great blogger for the site. Then he would have like 8 bulls.

    I will totally show any of the S/N guys (and my man crush) the headlights if they bring the “Running of the Bulls 2005” to a new level.

    Where’s Fulsome, Professor Booty, Teh, Seitz, etc.? Are they not men enough to run with the bulls this week or are they totally working on their inappropriate posts that will make PP’s head spin counter clockwise before it pops off? I totally think Teh is.

  • I believe fulsome is off with his two jobs and one woman. Me, I prefer it the other way round.

    A.G.: the Well-Rounded Nerds drink only the finest Belivdere vodka and Hamm’s beer.

    Even if I am the only member of the WRN posse to hit this rat packing of PP pad, I will f**king represent. You think, I post a blog in this hood and I don’t know what’s sh*t!?! I f**king represent!

    I am pissing all over the ceiling just like I did the bathroom of the Blue Lamp in SF. Of course, there I pissed on the TP, door, sink, mirror, walls, spare TP and paper towels.

    Don’t piss me off like they did. I am so street. Yo.

  • Chuckles, how uncouth!

  • Word on the street is that the sober Teh is all bark and no bite. But get half a Tequiza in the dood and he’s all in his tutu sashaying around causing trouble.

  • Heh, I love it when PupH calls Teh on the carpet!

  • Suprised nobody mentioned the Joan Cusack pic or Sixteen Candles.

  • Mooooooooom, what are you doing here? You promised!!

  • Chuckles, you rock and you totally represent! Forge about those other geeks. You were never one of the Zima nerds. WRN are too kewl for the sterotypical nerds.

    Fulsome is with a woman? Is she inflatable?

    And I would be impressed if you pissed in the sink and in the ashtray on the bar. Oh wait, it’s SF — you cannot smoke in a bar, but you can butt slam your buddy before the bus arrives. .

  • Wait just a second hear! Adorable Girlfriend, you’d flash Brad/Gavin/Seb and Jeff but not us?

  • PupH: get your mom out of here. I don’t want her telling my mom that Mrs. Punko’s not going to be home this weekend. We’ll be totally busted.

    Though, your mom is totally hot! How does she feel about being called “Ms. Robinson”?

  • Ass: you never asked! All you gotta do is ask a drunk girl and well, half the time said girl doesn’t even need to be wasted.

    Plus, I heart Brad R. His birthday is one day before mine. He’s a virgo brother, which means he totally rocks my world.

    Didn’t you hear that the party is going topless after 10 PM? Panties-less after 1 AM.

  • AG, I haven’t been wearing panties or a top all day!

  • Hey AG, that’s my Mom (PupH’s grandma) that you’re talking about!

  • Mr. Belvedere vodka?

    Chopin is my breakfast of champions when it comes to drinking vodka.

  • Gregor, there is no shame in having a hot mom.

  • I’m partial to Chopin as well, although I first drank Absolut and I still think it’s a perfectly good vodka. Absolut Citron in a vodka tonic…crisp and refreshing! I also enjoy Ketel One. Has anyone ever had Ciroc? It’s vodka made from grapes, and it’s delish.

    However, once we’re tore up and drinking shots out of Teh’s belly button, we probably won’t be all that picky.

  • ooh, AG’s a virgo. They’re fun to party with, because they’ll get tore up and act all crazy, and then mastermind our criminal defense the next day. I’m a pisces, so I’ll just get drunk and…stay drunk for the next week or so. On the other hand, I’m a pisces, so I’m…you know…easy.

  • I’m a Leo, so all the bitches are in my pride. Back my wimmins!!

  • Watch me do shots of Belvidere off of your Mom!

    Get over here, Mrs. Robinson!

  • If I ever go back into the Blue Lamp, I’ll walk up to the bar, order a beer, unzip my fly and piss on that place while the bar ho pours me a cold one. I’ll say thanks, pay and leave a pool of yerine.

    Whadya say, AG? Up for a night on the town with Chuckles? Gauranteed to be a night you’ll tell your grandkids about.

  • God, somebody stick a fork in Mr. Man over here. He’s trying to take your mom’s shirt off.

  • Chuck: I once read on this blog something I should ask you first–
    if afforded, would the late Nell Carter have been too much woman for you?

    If yes, tell me your most bizarre night, remembered the next day?

    If not, I am quite sure that a sorority girl like me could not handle a night with you.

  • OK, who ordered the hot combo greek platter?

  • Overheard at the party:

    F.M. Asshat: Hey guys! That chick AG said she would flash us if we ask her! So Shortsniffer go ask her!

    Maj. Shortsniffer: No way Asshat get Trollypants to do it.

    Capt. Trollypants: Well she is adorable but she looks sort of tough. Plus I don’t want no trouble from the UC!1!!

    Sgt Drollpanties: God you guys are such panty-waisted cobbags!!1! Have actually ever even spoke to a girl before? Lozerz!!!1! Hey AG….

  • I look tough? J’accuse. I guess it’s better than looking rough.

    And UC is not the boss of me. My old man won’t say a thing. 🙂

    You know who I really miss, I mean I miss him terribly. Whatever happened to beloved Chester?

    I miss Chester. Chet? Schmoopies? I want to flash you wherever you are.

  • Stupid boy trolls! I so would have flashed you until you referenced AG as a barnyard animal by deeming her a ‘chick’. All the girls at the party are so over you. When the phones not ringing, that’s the pretty girls not calling!

    AG will however flash Res and the other good little boys. AG plans to play Santa with good boys as she sits on their laps and tells them why she was naughty.

  • Whew…Just got done with dinner…’K…Bottle of Stoli…Check…Jug of grapefruit juice…Check…Fistful of candy corn…Check — all right, all set!


  • Aw, LAWD, child — teh l4m3 just had comment 69!

  • Scientists Find Fossils in Sexual Union

    (Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell after a night at 3bulls)

  • AG, how come you only be wanting those that ain’t here?

  • Teh, from this thread alone we have enough material to do yet another “This is your life Teh l4m3”

  • I’m a Taurus. The bull don’t you know?

  • Teh, baby, what’s your sign?

  • That’s not Andrea Mitchell…That’s Charlie Watts, baby, yeah!

  • I, too, am a Taurus.

    Who wants to know????

  • “Non practicing lesbians.” This my friends is the mystery of my faith!

  • Gregor, I’m tipsy. Let’s get gay-married and gay-have babies together, okay?

  • Who wants to know???? I think that PupH asked the question… By the way I wouldn’t let him get to familiar with your leg right about now.

  • I think I may REALLY regret this in the morning. Due…Due?

  • I’m sorry to harsh your good times, but I’ve been forced to inform my good friend teh that he shouldn’t fraternize with cockroaches, even those who’ve been human.

  • Marlys, get your freaky little butt back inside!!! THAT’S A GROWN UP PARTY!!!!!!!

  • OK, so you LOVE Lynda Barry too? 100 demons is one of my absoulute favorites. I actually own a couple of pieces of art by Ms. Barry. One day I’ll trot them out for the Mystery Art Bage.

  • Don’t listen to that little skank-freak. Let’s do the nasty!!!

  • I liked Cruddy too. Depressing but good. Lynda’s good people.

  • Gregor….Gregor….where are you?

  • Lynda Barry is the goddess of us all.

  • My absolute favorite cartoon of hers was about the Giant Clam. It had the refrain “Down with the Man. Save the Giant Clam.” I don’t know why it tickles me so.

  • Teh, you are so deeply number 1.

  • Dang that’s some strong moonshine. Say, Gregor, why dontcha spread me up another one of them “baloney sandwiches”?

  • With or without the Vegemite, Mate?

  • Must go to bed. Oh so tired. Buenos Noches.

  • Damn. PP is back…I guess I better go hit the porn galleries…Res, you with me?

  • “AG, how come you only be wanting those that ain’t here?”

    AH,it’s just more fun when it’s 12 on 1. It’s a basic math equation, silly. BTW, one of the perky twins wanted to show you her rack before, but she said you’re a whiner. PP specifically said no crying. Now suck it up fella and I will send an XX your way.

    Has anyone found Chet yet?Chester…Chester? Where is ‘dat boy?

  • Alright, time to wake up and start doin’ it again! Anyone see my pants?

  • Insider dirt: Dad might be able to check on us between now and 4 PM. Get the puke off the lawn and everyone hush.

  • I am busy pinching another loaf on the porch, do you think Daddy dearest will mind?

    His wicker furniture sucks, too.

    AG: I had to look up Nell Carter and the ver-dick is thus: If she didn’t tell no one and you didn’t take any pictures, you, me, her and the pups makes several hours of shame and guilt that hail mary’s can’t wash out.

    Now, if I could just find a bottle of robitussin and some cheap vodka, I’ll get the taste MomH out of my mouth.

    I’ll post about the best night out I have had that people have proof of on Sattiday.

  • Chuck: I been reading this blog, well for longer than I care to admit, and I got to tell you — you got me to laugh out loud. UC can attest to the fact that I am a comedy snob. I won’t giggle for amateurs. You my friend are pure goodness and stellar!

    I will totally let you slap and tickle my bottom, provided you bring a big rubber ball for Nell, because she is TOO much woman for me and I don’t want her working me like a cheap Ms. Pac Man game and getting crumbs all over the bed.

    Where the f#$k is Fulsome with the messed up MGT? I won’t be satisfied until there are stretch marks on the inflatable doll and Pinko bans someone else besides me when he and the Mrs. get back.

  • More than the lame Arrrested Development post?

    I think we showed those Punkos (and I think I showed a few of you others last night, but none of you commented on how magnificent and REAL they are).

  • AG: They’re real and they’re SPECTACULAR!

    Frankly, sometimes I wonder late at night while I am applying ice to my an*s and ben gay to my pelvis. I wonder if, perhaps, Nell Carter is too much woman for me, too.

  • Oh, and AG? Thanks for the complement, I apprecite it more than you can imagine. That is going in the shrine to my humor.

  • You should feel good, Chuck. And Pop just got me going to.

    I haven’t laughed this hard since the night SCL pushed that little dweeb JL into three burly biker guys at a bar in Wilkes Barre, PA. Though, I peed my pants when that happened. I hate to admit it, but I totally did!

  • inflat@ble manuf@cture

    Nice post! Inflatable ball is very nice too.

  • Nice post! Inflatables is very nice too.

  • Man sometimes sp*m is just the most brilliant thing ever.

  • Wow just found this page really by mistake looking for something else. You have a nice blog and some interesting information, will check back soon.

  • Sometimes I think the only way to find 3Bulls is by mistake.

    There’s a bar in Milwaukee like that.

  • Wow just found this page really by mistake looking for spiritual enlightenment and a purpose for being. You have a nice blog and some interesting information, Ceiling Cat iz watching u so be gud.

  • floorpromotion is dead to me.

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