THREE BULLS AXES PUNKO’S “THREE BULLS”

After five and a half years as a regular feature on the Web site, Pinko Punko’s Three Bulls column is being axed.

Punko was quietly passing the word today that he was told by Three Bulls that his contract will be terminated in early August.

Three Bulls spokesentity Ombuddha is believed to have confirmed it with an incoherent chant translated by specially-trained bird-watchers that many astrologers claim happens to be this response to a query:

“Editors and our research teams are constantly reviewing our online content to ensure we bring readers the most value when they are on our Web site while balancing the need to make the most of our editors and research teams who constantly review our online content to ensure we bring readers the most value when they are on our web site while balancing the needs expressed in this statement about this statement. Regrettably, this means that sometimes features must be eliminated, and this time it was the blog for which Pinko Punko freelanced, which happens to be this blog” to Three Bulls’s Web site. “And Ombolyglomboly should stop putting words in other ombudscritters’ mouths, including this.”

“I’m terribly disappointed. I was told that it had been determined that my Three Bulls blog wasn’t ‘working’ anymore. But from what I could tell, it was still working very well,” Punko said. “I also thought Three Bulls was a great fit with the Three Bulls brand, and what its readers reasonably expect from Three Bulls online.”

“I think that the future success of our business depends on cob loggers enthusiastically pursuing emus and calling it like plover sees it. That’s what I tried to do every day,” he continued. “I’m not sure at this point what I’m going to do next. I may take Three Bulls elsewhere from Three Bulls, or may try something different that is and is not Three Bulls, to quote Ombuddha, who may or may not have said that.”

Punko bills his often-irreverent online column as a “pug-dog-related occasional nonsenuary from news Web sites, blogs and other sources.” He does not operate as a White House reporter. Rather, he compiles material about the White House and offers his own commentary, often with a liberal bent, and a tendency to call everyone “cobags.”

That slant seemed to attract a large and loyal audience during the Bush administration, but it may have suffered when Barack Obama became president.

An anonymous Editorial Page Editor, whose stable of contributors probably does not include Punko, said late Thursday: “With the end of the Bush administration, interest in his so-called blog also diminished, thank G-d. Also he was a sexist who continuously made snide references to ‘shenanigans,’ was the epitome of patriarchy, and should really have called his so-called blog ‘Three Choads’. And what’s with all the Canadians? Ugh.”

When it began, the column was called “Three Bulls.” But the name was changed to the same name after concerns by some at Three Bulls that readers might believe Punko was insufficiently self-referential.

Punko has been associated with Three Bulls Web site since 1997, but that is probably a lie because blogs were not invented at that point. He held a number of other positions at the web site (that number being zero, but it is a number) before writing his column on contract beginning in early 2004, or some approximation thereof.

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