Introducing the Ombud… Seal of Approval (OSA)!
Do you, gentle and not so gentle readers, often find yourself approaching new Three Bulls! posts with trepidation verging on fear?
Do you find yourself wondering:
Will there be an Ombud… available if I have any questions, concerns or complaints about this post?
Have the photographs in this post been analyzed by trained professionals for hidden meanings, nuance and most importantly matters related to the state of the union?
Will anything be harmed in anyway by the content of or omissions from this post?
Are the authors of this post sufficiently non partisan?
Does this post contain verified facts and/or science related to politics, life or other contentious issues without presenting the reader with opposing wackadoodle beliefs for balance?
Can the terms “teabag” and “teabagging,” as used in this post, be interpreted in an inappropriate manner?
Does this post contain opinion?
Have the authors considered every side of every coin?
Is this post civil or will it lead to incivility?
Will this post hurt my feelings or the feelings of others?
What’s the number of the complaint line and what happens if it is busy?
Were John McCain and Joe Lieberman briefed on the content of this post?
Will I get hungry part way through this post?
Will I get it?
Well fear no more! If the post that you are reading bears the official OSA (accept no substitutes – tilt your monitor to the side and verify the presence of the holographic image indicating authenticity) you have NO WORRIES AT ALL because this post has been previously Ombud…ed by our Ombud… professionals!
Three Bulls! maintains a growing staff of Ombud…s apparently numbering, at last count, over 300. And each post bearing the OSA has undergone a robust and verified Ombud…ing by each and every one of our staff Ombud…s.
Our rigorous Ombud…ing process is far too complex and detailed to describe herein but perhaps can best be represented metaphorically by the following video.
With this we hope that you realize, dear and not so dear readers, that we have your best interests in heart and in mind.
Cordially and not so cordially, Three Bulls!
What about the deer readers, G.S.?
Needs more auto-piscine.
I neither heartily nor not heartily neither endorse or not endorse this system which concurrently neither heartily nor not heartily neither endorses or not endorses me.
See, this is why I’m no longer needed. A machine has taken my job!
Pinko’s use of the term “hearty” in and of itself an endorsement of substance, which is hardly a neutral state.
I had some Ombud once. Shit got me so high I didn’t come down for a week. I think it was laced with something.
If Ombud is not properly marinated, it can do that to you.
LOL!!
Perhaps Willy got into the Ombsinthe by mistake.
This is quite common, actually.
I do not endorse Men D’s conflation of “hearty” and “heartily”.
What self-respecting pirate ever said:
“Arr, it’s time to batten down the nuthatches, me heartilies!”
I do not endorse plover’s conflation of “hatches” and “nuthatches.” It suggests thinly-veiled racist threats against defenseless nuthatches by the wings of small seabirds.
Arrrh, I not be endorsin fishie’s conflatin of me with a non-self-respectin pirate, me heartilies.
I find it heartily unfair that a machine so adept at its purpose is condemned as ‘useless’.
~
I want someone to start throwing around “brainily” because ZRM probably thinks heartily is close but no cigar.
Does the seal of approval signify a complete absence or the officially sanctioned presence of goatse references?
Yes it does signify a complete absence or the officially sanctioned presence of such goatse references (which I had to google – I thought that you were picking on goats).
Can the seal of approval balance a ball on its nose?
~
The seal of approval best watch out for the orca of opprobrium.
Such an event might lead me to start blubbering, while others might have a whale of a time. I think that might be Aukward. Like having an albatross around ones neck.
Snag, you didn’t comment on “The Night Before Crispmøøse”
If you believed that such an event had occurred, I think that you might be very gullible. Though orcas in general need no urchin to eat seals.
The penguin-na make my side hurt these puns are so bad.
Oh the humanatee!
Brando has been saving that one up. Well played, sir.
Tequila?
doll, fin’ a better pass time, eh?
SMcG informed us elsewhere that a trained seal of approval rises jubilantly to a delicate caress.
Really this was TMI.
If this were the duGong show Brando would get it.
Snag, you didn’t comment on “The Night Before Crispmøøse”
We can haz show trial?
~
Zombies burst in to interrupt the kangaroo court to announce crucial information:
EMUSIC IS GIVING 50 TRACK BOOSTER PACKS AT 20 BONES PER!!!
So now you can stock up on 80′s all the New Wave and heavy metal you’ve been missing. Plus, Hendrix.
Smalltime Beef made me miss an entire month I think. Oh Goobs!
SMcG informed us elsewhere that a trained seal of approval rises jubilantly to a delicate caress.
Here, I believe.
My blog is rated McG.
The seal of approval needs to be clubbed for growth.
Kids are so not rock and roll.
Have some corn likker, Brando.
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I would like to apply.
Please and thank you.