Superbowl Counter Programming

Since we can now confidently rule out an entire half-time show of “A Quick One…” we’re going to blow CBS out of the water with our awesome counter programming.

A quick peek at Superbowl 64 commercials, based on an assymptotic extrapolation of this year’s. I must assume you have noticed a growing trend.

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A giant vagina enters: “ROWRFFFFF GLRURPS!!!!”

Everyman: “My penis!!!!!!!!!!”

Vagina: “SPLARRTEGSRRRRRT!!!!”

Everyman: “BEERVALANCHE!!!!!!!”

[Beervalanche happens]

Vagina turns into docile sexbot.

“BEER. CONSUME FOR PENIS.”
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Narrator: “Bitches!”

Men: “Yeah.”

Narrator: “Dodge Charger Tells B*tches to Suck It!”

Man runs down female with Dodge Charger

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Judge: “Jeffrey Dahmer, why did you commit your crimes?’

Dahmer: “Bud Light”

Jury: “Innocent by reason of PARTY!!!!!!!!!!”

Dahmer: “Chicken wing?”

Judge: “No thanks.”

Everyone: “HAHHAHAHHHHHHAHAHAHAH”

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ad nauseum, infinitum

UPDATE

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