COMMITTEE OF INQUIRY ESTABLISHED

The Central Ombudsman’s Board of Accession (COBA), announced that after having received a rasher of complaints from the community on matters pertaining to Ombudsmen at Three Bulls Blog, it would establish a full committee of inquiry into the matter. This committee will meat and discuss the issues involved and return a report to COBA’s network of executive committees for further action on the matter.

“Today, we take another step in making Ombudsman review processes more fair, transparent, and responsive to the needs of community steakholders,” said O. Glomboly, spokesbudsman for COBA. “No holds barred. This is, once again, the fire starter of a new day for Ombudsmanry. We’ll be looking at some of the issues that the community has been having with Three Bulls Blog and its ‘network’.”

COBA has been smoked with complaints pertaining to Ombudsman matters at Three Bulls Blog. This new committee will be comprised of balanced and neutral representation. Already, some members have been appointed and are arriving for planning meetings.

The first and principal matter that the community will look into is the issue of a Three Bulls Blog Ombudsman, “Mendacious D, Ombirdspersonpantsmoose”, and his recent reference to the collection of people who sometimes frequent its comments section as the “Exalted Commentariat.” Many community steakholders objected to the commentariat being referred to as “Exalted”, particularly by an Ombudsman whose purpose and mission is to be neutral as per the COBA statutes. The committee will grill some of the commenters to see if they are in fact exalted, and whether this exalted status, factual or not, is really within the ambit of an Ombudsman to decide.

Said one of the newly appointed steakholder representatives, “It’s really pretty presumtuous for him to have said that, especially since this commentariat has shown extreme bias against certain classes of organisms and repeated lies and slander about them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, but my hand is a little red and sticky and I need to clean it before I pick up my steak again.” The community steakholder squirted a little lemon juice on the steak and wandered off.

Spokesman Glomboly declined to answer questions about future mandates for this committee, saying that other complaints pertaining to currently living community groups would be reviewed in due course.

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