Just checking. This appeared to leak last week to a secret server. It is just a mixtape demo. Thanks to producer Mendacious D for copping beats, fish for some couplets, and Capt. Trollypants for getting Matt Y guesting on the track. We didn’t even get to haircuts. Check the beat while my DJ revolves it, chumpwagons!
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Lyrics below the fold, but I think you should suffer through the scorched earth devastation.
timeframe forever/certified hatelist
I got my rap on-I got something to slay with
a word for a flightless bird
emu
don’t think you should be called that
we do
you’re the worst movie of all time
skidoo
kick you out of your house
kelo
play cat and mouse with me
no go
try to hide wait and see
we know
step up to my lyrical piper
just payin
push you in the snow, make you an angel
just sleighin
make it better with a smartass hashtag
just sayin
you wrote a book
I never read it
bust its spine
call it an edit
just in time
call me dr. who
step outta my booth
take a page from the future
I pun when I punish
your gonna need a suture
first name matthew
like one of the gospels
which one-don’t matter/
I put you in the hospital
its a story of pain and I’m able
to deliver a lethal dose
I put the motion on the table
better go to church
light some candles
time to get enrolled
in my personal death panel
Punch a nut/and they cheered
Damn right/I be feared
maybe shave your beard/
neck/
I put you in check/
step to me you get decked/
halls/
bells and holly/
ring-a-ding dolly/
your career is a folly/
paint you like salvador dali/
melt a clock on your head/
the persistence of dead/
now I start to shred/
you better get fed/
all you can eat bread/
sticks/
I lay it on thicks/
suck your blood like a ticks/
you gonna have a malady
now all you can eat is your salad-y
through a straw like your soup
minestrone
you’re nothing but a phony/
[Ygglesipants]
Oh Pinko Punko,
that’s so cute
who woulda thunko
that the internet
would give such
pap
smear
haven’t you hear
my lyrics gonna kill
you are hpv
i am gardasil
You say I that I’m contrarian
but I’m a cool libertarian
stop acting like Yossarian
raging at my catch-22′s
I got a job so why can’t you?
blow
you reap what you
sow
you make bad choices
you be on the street hearing voices
no need for me to reply to comments
I’m over at Megan’s
Wishing she weren’t dishing
Not very delishin
I’m fishing but she’s missing
to my hints she’s a harden’n
I want to eat at the Olive garden’n
Your marginal utility
you can’t recognize such futility
Stuff my face with those breadsticks
Enrage you with my mouse clicks
I’ll bust you like a fucking puppet
I’ll shit on your MFE
Don’t got a degree like me
‘Bag you with my neck beard
Its the end that you feared
Constant degradation is great
Now I’m writing at Slate
You think you’re so reasonable
Gots Opinions when its seasonable
Always wrong its not evenable
Belief that could be pleasonable
Ignore getting corrected by little peoponable
In your column issues so urban
here’s a real lefty
I’m John McEnroe/and I’m servin
a dose of You can’t be serious
of course You must be delirious
You’re David Cone
caught you spanking in the bullpen
I put you in a diagram like Venn
An empty set between you and expertise
Oh think I’m too mean oh Yggie please
explain something to me you just read
make sure to patronize instead
of empathize which you are unable
please tell me about basic cable
the moral of the story is this
you step to the bulls you get burned
our battle rap is so furious
your argument is so spurious
call me george and I’m curious
when you move into your new house
the eventual rebirth of Mickey Kaus
I can’t wait to hear this on youtube.
You will record it, right, P.P.?
~
CLick that play button and your wish is granted!
needs even more autotune.
I envision goobie playing cowbells to this rap.
~
Pitchfork said that the voice cracking was cute and signifying of a lot of deep, internal stuff. Certainly not anything banal like a cold.
When does Kathleen wake up????
I guess I don’t get rap.
Also, I think we need an Ombuds ruling on the foulmouth in those lyrics.
what kind of rap FADES OUT?
-1
Uh, you can’t control Yglesias, only hope to contain him to a guest verse.
This is a tough crowd. I condemn you to listen to PODCATS STUPID LOOSERS, then you will be begging to listen to this one. BEGGING.
Just wait until the Captain hears about those remarks, zrm.
~
I love this so much, but needs more autotune.
Then it would sound like Pumped Up Kicks.
Punched Up Nuts you mean.
plover should be happy to note that I am digitizing some of my old Anthony Phillips vinyl.
Pitchfork has no idea who Anthony Phillips is.
Hint: He’s not a rapper.
Is this the Venn diagram you mentioned? It is possibly the only Venn diagram ever to make 3B the center of the universe.
plover should be happy to note that I am digitizing some of my old Anthony Phillips vinyl
Well, as long as it’s not Invisible Men, I’m happy…
While Pinko may pooh-pooh the idea of a zombie as an IMS, I’m not sure he could challenge the notion of one as an OPSAS*.
Well, as long as it’s not Invisible Men, I’m happy…
Uh-oh…..
Ha! So good.
Feeling I should at least make an attempt, I found a couple of songs from Invisible Men on YooToob, and well, they’re not horrifying, I guess, which is what I thought on my first listen 20 years ago or whenever it was. Based on that first encounter, the album has always stood in my mind as an exceptional example of “What were they thinking??!!!?”
Now, my reaction is something like, “Hm, it’s Ant writing a pop song… um, maybe not exactly the best use of his talents…?” rather than “OMG! What ate Ant’s brain? We need to get it back right now!! And put a warning label on this album, like, say, ‘Abandon all hope’…”
Invisible Men was only the second or third album I bought of his, the others being Wise After The Event and maybe one of the Private Parts and Pieces discs. WATE was a great favorite of mine at one point (as was Trespass). And the time I first heard Invisible Men was probably the time in my life when I was least inclined to like something that sounded like that.
Hearing it now, what occurs to me is that if I had heard it when it first came out in 1983, which was a couple of years before my prog obsession started — at that point I was into, what, Men at Work and Howard Jones, I guess — I might actually have liked it a lot.
I should say, though, that it is a bit of a shock to be confronted with this when one really wants more of this.
Yes, it is quite diff from teh twelve string work and classically oriented guitar he had done prior. But at least it didn’t have Phil Collins singing!
WATE is awesome, and is also one I was digitizing. Incredible guitar work. There were times, however, where I wanted Tony Banks to be playing the keys….
I found a couple of songs from Invisible Men on YooToob, and well, they’re not horrifying,
Exocet and The Women Were Watching I found to be pretty good, actually.
Exocet and The Women Were Watching I found to be pretty good, actually.
Those were the two that sounded interesting on Wiki, but, alas, no tubers for those.
I’ve never had much objection to Phil Collins’s singing per se.
Phil Collin’s singing comes in a package with the rest, alas.
I love it!!
Actual conversation just now:
The Skimmer, “What’s he talking about?”
Me, “No one knows. No one ever knows.”
Was that RE: 3B or Genesis, or Yglesias battle rap?
Yes.
Also, I would like to disavow all involvement with this particular track.
I provided him with far superior beats. You might even say they were “bangin’.”
Just want you to know, The Skimmer’s question was not snarky at all. It was very sincere.
My answer was snarky though. Heh.
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!one111!!!
P.S. I have had two Bloody Caesars already.
~
You must have, thunder. It’s not the new year yet.
Is it for Gregor yet?
Yes, thank you for pointing that out, Pinko.
~
Happy New Year!!!!
Many New Beers!
~
i echo the thunder’s comment!
Dear PP – I LOVE YOU! Somebody has set us up the bomb!
Is “peoponable” a completely new word? Google says “no”:
1) A korean Facebook page called “Being-Peoponable”
2) A cached entry in a Hong Kong Artists Federation blog (maybe?) from June 1st last year. Maybe some kind of free-flow poem, a rap, perchance? A dream?
Dream this Gangsta! POP-POP-BANG!
I’m afraid to click over to Yglesias- I expect there is just a giant crater and maybe a drum circle.
with puppets
“Battle Rap Demo” appears nearly three years after the inauguration of Barack Obama, and the track’s acidic split personality perfectly personifies life in these United States, a time when the iconic image of Obama above the word “HOPE” seems more ironic and depressing than being served Hooters wings by a hot-pantsed waitress named Hope.
Indeed, the dual nature of the track, with the barbs of the anonymous protagonist sandwiching the nasty, self-serving rap of Yglesias, capture the Cheeks of Progessivism trying to hold back the Butthole of Professional Liberalism in the hopes that the latter’s rational discourse won’t go forth and smear the news narrative of what liberalism means. Years of clenching have made said cheeks weary, but also strong, strong enough to relax and let the B of PL show the world how full of poop it is before scooping up the remains and depositing it in the trash heap of political history.
Including “Demo” in the title captures the brutal, coarse, sugar-in-the raw feeling of a song more tract than track. It is a demo meaning unrefined, but more appropriately as in demolition, a house of cards blown apart by C4 placed on every Ace. That plastique is as explosive as the call of “C4″ landing one last red peg into a battle rap, sinking a fleet of professional liberal thought into the plastic seas of Meh-lton Bradley obsolescence. Pinko is the Death Star and Yglessias Alderaan, only in this scenario, Princess Leia is operating the battle station, Big Texas Cloverhill Honeybuns strapped to her head, taking aim at a world whose atmosphere is green with the pollution of money.
In the end, “Battle Rap Demo Test” serves as a call to arms. It is a Colbert Report On-Notice Board of rage, letting everyone know that pepper spray on the 99% will be met with a Blunderbuss packed with Chocolate Skittles fired point blank at the mouthpieces of the 1%, and that the taste of death will be flavor of found pudding and despair. Essential.
All Music Guide deserves a round of Golden Onion Wieners or fried appetizer of its heart’s desire. The ashes of my new year emerge as a phoenix of righteousness. WORDS OF WISDOM for AMG!
I bow to AMG
I’m surprised ZRM didn’t reject Paperchase for the image alone.
Happy New Year’s, 3B’s! May you continue to confound, entertain, disgust and enthrall us for years go come.
3B’s Radio will just continue to assault us.
Yes, it’s days later than the actual NY’s moment, but it’s still early.
All Music Guide leaves a crater in this thread. OF AWESOMENESSS
AMG thanks you and loves you all more than Lady Gaga loves saying how much she loves you all.
I gotta find me a stand-up shot of Matthew Yglesias.
Actually- I don’t know if I have EVER seen his legs.
I don’t know if this is too mean to look through, but it is Battle Rap.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/myglesias/
Hmm, I think I have hit upon a perfect solution in any case. Tick tock.
Yglesian battle-rap skillz illustrated.
How can I post that ON THE EARTH?
Where are the drag and drop Matt Hammers???
Obviously a topic 3B should have been covering
Next up: Age-appropriate Embryo Firearm Training
Hey kids, if you encounter one of these
[points at gun]
don’t touch it, just flood your mother’s bloodstream with hormones.
In a rights-respecting manner, of course.
Glock in a condiment aisle, Glock in a uterus…
Perhaps Smith and Wesson can take its classic Military and Police Revolver and morph it into a Maternity and Placenta variety.
Sounds Devo, Jennifer.
P.S. Warner Music Group can die in a fire.
~
“An EGG is an organic vessel in which an embryo first begins to develop.”
“A GUN is a muzzle or breech-loaded projectile-firing weapon.”
“An OGG is a free, open container format that it is unrestricted by software patents and is designed to provide for efficient streaming and manipulation of high quality digital multimedia (like this bad boy).”***
What happens if you take out the GU?
“EGGNOG is a sweetened dairy-based beverage traditionally made with milk and/or cream, sugar, beaten eggs (which gives it a frothy texture), and liquor.”
Sounds ’bout right.
***also like battle raps
I should mention that Matt Hammer – who has now taken all pundit titles – is yours for the taking.
Where is my missing G? Egg nogege! My G was probably stolen by the little Heisenberg pirates* siphoning off photons of light inside of the insides of the inter-web’s nets of fiber-optical illusion cable router switcher-maroo-thingys.
*you can never know where they are – sneaky-sneaks!
Next up: Age-appropriate Embryo Firearm Training
related
Matt Hammer is hypnotic. I love Matt Hammer so much.
We may have found a solution to the abortion debate. Abortions will be legal, but fetuses will have the right to return fire.
We may have found a solution to the abortion debate. Abortions will be legal, but fetuses will have the right to return fire.
What if they shoot themselves??
Also- Matt Hammer needs to be in a header… and when that one loads, the battle rap plays!
Damnit, J, I’m not even a doctor, and I’m also not a technological literate! /McCoy
But in your heart, you know she’s right.
Right, Pinko?
~
Jennifer, he can’t even get my comments to go through…
That is not fair!
It must be something you’ve done to bring my spam filter to your door.
A spam filter that can’t distinguish between zombies and spam: the possibility of such an object seems like it ought to reveal something about the structure of the universe. Somehow I suspect zombies are like spam in the same way a raven is like a writing desk.
The zombie should PICK A GODDAMNED DOMAIN AND STICK WITH IT. There’s a mind to change? PLEASE.
LOL
Plover writes for the NYT?
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/21/what-if-we-occupied-language/
MUST CREDiT 3BULLS!
Hm, I didn’t know that about me either…
H. Samy Alim directs the Center for Race, Ethnicity, and Language (CREAL) at Stanford University.
You know what goes in a creel? That’s right…
~
hee
i’m 14 i’m a Freestyle Rapper and Dj too, well i think i can go in the Hiphop industry, i can compose music, write songs and Dj too, i just want a chance, i live in Dharamshala, Himachal pardesh,(where Dalai lama lives) its a small town in North India, well i think i can’t be a hit here, i’ve got Rap abilities, i’m not a crazy kid, Justin Bieber started his career at 14, if he can do it in R&B, Why not me, i can rhyme realy Good, how can i start me Carrier, or hiphop is age bound,, my rhymes are realy good,, kindly tell me how can i go in hiphop industry,,i can battle with any Rapper, am not a crazy kid, if i would be in the USA, i would be on charts,, but am in india, there’s no Hiphop industry here, i just wanna know, that i want a Label. or do you think Eminem or any other person can help me,i just want a to give a Demo please ,,tell any label to contact me,, please i realy Rap good. i’m not a crazy kid. .if you wanna hear me call me at. 918894503131 .PS can Eminem help me,,, cause he’s realy a good person, he’ve helped many people like 50 Cent
ILF, I am sorry but with the current majority on the Supreme Court, international law holds no sway and I can’t allow Eminem to contribute to your rap skills. Maybe if you drop some rhymes here we can hook you up with Die Antward.
I think the next Terminator movie will be about spambots that become self aware and force us to click their links.
Antward ho!
clicking the links
~
Maybe if I have a couple dozen more drinks I will call that number.
Nice. My favorite production squad is The Beat Arkitekz. If you haven’t heard of them yet, you will, real soon.
I will allow the most noble of spam, that which relates to Battle Rapping.
Brando
January 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I think the next Terminator movie will be about spambots that become self aware and force us to click their links.
Charlie Stross did it