Battle Rap Demo Test

Just checking. This appeared to leak last week to a secret server. It is just a mixtape demo. Thanks to producer Mendacious D for copping beats, fish for some couplets, and Capt. Trollypants for getting Matt Y guesting on the track. We didn’t even get to haircuts. Check the beat while my DJ revolves it, chumpwagons!

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Lyrics below the fold, but I think you should suffer through the scorched earth devastation.

timeframe forever/certified hatelist
I got my rap on-I got something to slay with

a word for a flightless bird
emu

don’t think you should be called that
we do

you’re the worst movie of all time
skidoo

kick you out of your house
kelo

play cat and mouse with me
no go

try to hide wait and see
we know

step up to my lyrical piper
just payin

push you in the snow, make you an angel
just sleighin

make it better with a smartass hashtag
just sayin

you wrote a book
I never read it

bust its spine
call it an edit

just in time
call me dr. who

step outta my booth
take a page from the future

I pun when I punish
your gonna need a suture

first name matthew
like one of the gospels
which one-don’t matter/
I put you in the hospital
its a story of pain and I’m able
to deliver a lethal dose
I put the motion on the table
better go to church
light some candles
time to get enrolled
in my personal death panel

Punch a nut/and they cheered
Damn right/I be feared
maybe shave your beard/
neck/
I put you in check/
step to me you get decked/
halls/
bells and holly/
ring-a-ding dolly/
your career is a folly/
paint you like salvador dali/
melt a clock on your head/
the persistence of dead/
now I start to shred/
you better get fed/
all you can eat bread/
sticks/
I lay it on thicks/
suck your blood like a ticks/
you gonna have a malady
now all you can eat is your salad-y
through a straw like your soup
minestrone
you’re nothing but a phony/

[Ygglesipants]
Oh Pinko Punko,
that’s so cute
who woulda thunko
that the internet
would give such
pap
smear
haven’t you hear
my lyrics gonna kill
you are hpv
i am gardasil

You say I that I’m contrarian
but I’m a cool libertarian
stop acting like Yossarian
raging at my catch-22’s 
I got a job so why can’t you?
blow
you reap what you
sow
you make bad choices
you be on the street hearing voices
no need for me to reply to comments
I’m over at Megan’s
Wishing she weren’t dishing
Not very delishin 
I’m fishing but she’s missing
to my hints she’s a harden’n
I want to eat at the Olive garden’n
Your marginal utility
you can’t recognize such futility
Stuff my face with those breadsticks
Enrage you with my mouse clicks
I’ll bust you like a fucking puppet
I’ll shit on your MFE
Don’t got a degree like me
‘Bag you with my neck beard
Its the end that you feared
Constant degradation is great
Now I’m writing at Slate

You think you’re so reasonable
Gots Opinions when its seasonable
Always wrong its not evenable
Belief that could be pleasonable
Ignore getting corrected by little peoponable
In your column issues so urban
here’s a real lefty
I’m John McEnroe/and I’m servin
a dose of You can’t be serious
of course You must be delirious
You’re David Cone
caught you spanking in the bullpen
I put you in a diagram like Venn
An empty set between you and expertise
Oh think I’m too mean oh Yggie please
explain something to me you just read
make sure to patronize instead
of empathize which you are unable
please tell me about basic cable
the moral of the story is this
you step to the bulls you get burned
our battle rap is so furious
your argument is so spurious
call me george and I’m curious
when you move into your new house
the eventual rebirth of Mickey Kaus

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