Request for reader blurriness: Should Three Bulls! Incarnate (Inblogate?) Incoherence?

Rebuilt Cop Id = Public Editor

A word from Errata Brushbins, 3B’s I-blur-topic ed.

I’m looking for “reader” input on whether and when Three Bulls! keyboard monkeys/meese/birds/fungi/ombudsganisms should insist that “sense” is overrated and ought to be dispensed with in any “content” inflicted on hapless viewers of this website.

One example mentioned recently by a small, potted plant that has never actually read this site: As noted in the recent XLVIX-part series “Under the Bench: A Gum Wad’s View of the Supreme Court”, a court spokeswoman said Clarence Thomas had “misunderstood” the rules of curling when he used curling stones supplied by his wife which could be remotely steered from a bunker under the Heritage Foundation. The plant seemed perturbed by the plausibility of this scenario.

Another example: on the campaign trail, Mitt Romney often says President Obama has made speeches “apologizing for the lateness of Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch,” a phrase to which Uncanny Canadian responded in a December column by saying: “”.

As a denizen of the Three Bulls! mausoleum, Mr. [sic] Canadian clearly has the freedom to be non-responsive. My question for readers is: should actual non-silent posters do the same?

If so, then perhaps the next time Mr. Romney says the president has a habit of apologizing for Three Bulls!, there should be a post stating, more or less:

“Mitt Romney is just a theory. All hail IceWedge.” (IcePorkins getting no love per usual.)

That approach is what one reader was getting at in a recent message found in a bottle washed up on the Three Bulls! private beach. He/she/it/bird wrote:

“My question is what role battle raps play in inducing the heat death of the universe. The main problem with entropy is that it doesn’t work fast enough, especially when living organisms are around. I continually mourn the amount of order I add to the universe and rely on 3B as a synapse randomizer. If the site’s overarching goal is the dismasting of the ship of reason so that it is helpless before wind and water and soon devoured by lampreys and laser-urchins, oughtn’t its principal posts fire their cannons on all cylinders? In other words, if Matthew Yglesias stubs his toe in a forest and no one is there to hear, does he still sound like an emu? And shouldn’t the result be sampled?”

This message was typical, perhaps even archetypical, of “mail” from some readers who, fed up with the distortions and evasions that are common in public life, look to Three Bulls for variety in distortion and evasion. They worry that 3B might one day show something, that, without requiring the assumption that the phonemes mean something when strung together in one of chief languages of the planet I______ IV, could be called judgment.

Is that the prevailing view? And if so, do we care? We can point to actual sentences in the universe like, “Is it possible to be objective and fair when the reporter is choosing to correct one fact over another?” What more could you want?

Throughout the 2012 presidential campaign debates, 3B has employed a special invisible sidebar where we ignore them entirely. Do you like this feature, or would you rather our ignorance be incorporated into our regular posts?

Please feel free to leave a comment below or send an e-mail to public@nytimes.com with the subject line: Must Credit Three Bulls! Beware of comment moderation policy.

PS The collective noun for ombudsganisms is: an ombudsgasm of ombudsganisms. No one who has met one has lived long enough to devise a collective noun for laser-urchins.

26 Responses to “Request for reader blurriness: Should Three Bulls! Incarnate (Inblogate?) Incoherence?”


  • I have this strange feeling that I stole that “Under the Bench” title from somewhere, but not the first clue where it might have been.

  • IceWedge!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!! ICEWEDGE!!!

  • Is it that you get disintegrated multiply if you attempt to collectively consider the grouping of laser urchins? As it should be.

    I can’t remember, does C.O.B.A.G. consider the Public Editor to be anathema or apotheosis of the ombudspersonpants? Ombudsgasminical or Ombudsgasmininmical to the Ombudsverse? Would they not have no opinion on this topic, with extreme absence of prejudice?

  • CUE BIRD PILOT, indeed.

    Heh.

  • I posted on a weekend again, didn’t I? Curse you, internet traditions!

    Note that “Errata Brushbins” also turns into “narrates rubbish”…

  • Entirely OT: was anyone else here assigned to read anything by Ayn Rand when in high school? How common is this?

  • Do you like this feature, or would you rather our ignorance be incorporated into our regular posts?

    What’s wrong with a traditional partnership?
    ~

  • I think the Fountainhead might have been on the optional list (the you pick the book list). I think I picked “Bleak House”. Perhaps “Anthem” is on some Jr. High lists?

  • Didn’t anyone notice that I linked to that Paul Bibeau post in the previous comment thread…

    I had to read Anthem in 10th grade; it wasn’t optional. I don’t remember learning anything about Rand’s philosophy at the time, which might just be because my teacher that year was rather ineffectual. I do remember my reaction was part dislike and part confusion. There were many elements to the story that made me think I should like it, but they seemed to be being used wrong. I didn’t know what to make of a book that made a message about freedom seem distasteful.

    I wrote her off as uninteresting and didn’t really think about her much again until 15-odd years later when I tried to read The Fountainhead, and I couldn’t really get past the opening chapters where we’re being told to admire someone who is pretty much described as a textbook sociopath.

  • Didn’t anyone notice that I linked to that Paul Bibeau post in the previous comment thread…

    What am I, some kind of “noticer” who magically notices stuff?
    ~

  • I thought Thunder was linking a commento. Episode II is up!

  • Can we declare thunder 3B Noticer?

    Or would his first official act just be to put me on notice..?

    Hm…

  • A focus of laser-urchins.
    An ignorance of laser-urchins.
    A prickling of laser-urchins. Alternately, a pickling.

    Also, a dearth of Ombudsthings.

    (Fun fact: the collective noun for boar is apparently a singular. Who comes up with these things?)

    I would humbly submit, as habitual ignorer of the blog, that if the blog is not observed, its state cannot be accurately determined.

  • My first official act would probably be to post a picture in the comments.
    ~

  • I never even heard of Ayn Rand in HS

  • I found this post to be both delicious and disgusting, but thought it needed more celeb content.

  • Every architect reads teh Fountainhead in college.

    One learns to avoid the ones who do not laugh at it.

  • I recall reading The Fountainhead in my early 20′s… and wanting to throw it against the wall at least 80 times. I also thought of not finishing it about 80 times.

    What I remember about it??

    1) Architecture
    2) Rand’s pattern of saying “And he’d never want to do anything more… and yet he knew he never would!” Or… “And she wanted him more than anything… and yet knew she’d never have him!!!” Or… “And he wanted to go there more than life itself, but know he’d never do it!” Or… “And she wanted to THRow THis BOOK out Teh WINDOW!! But KNew SHE HAD TO FINISH!!!” Why?? I don’t know.

    Know one liked talking to me while reading this because this was how I talked.

    “Do you want to go out tonight?”

    “I think I want to more than anything, and yet I know I probably won’t!”

    GUH!!!

  • Know one liked talking to me while reading this because this was how I talked.

    No, I don’t know one.

  • Grrrrr.

    I am the typo queen these days. Between my dying keyboard and my dying fingers, not to mention my dying brain… I don’t stand a chance.

  • Yay! I see a new header!! Too bad it came in too late to win. :( In the meantime, I’ve been enjoying my 3B Victory Gift Basket! Thanks, Pinko!

  • 1) Architecture

    There was no architecture in that book.

  • And now Jennifer wants more than anything not to talk like that again… and yet knows that it will happen…

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