BUSHMASTER FOR XMAS

New York Ad Agency Internal Memo

RE: Bushmaster account

Looking for pull quotes for the new .223/AR-15 ad-

Reached out the John “DC Sniper” Muhammad’s people- they say he’s unavailable? Anyone have a cell number? Maybe we can cross market with Chevy on tricked out Caprices. What is Malvo doing?

Trying to track down Lanza- looks like he’s a no go either.

Can we get this NY guy? He’s a pretty hot commodity right now.

Just so much to work with on this account- just no idea which way to go.

Spitballs:

Dr. Pepper 10 style ironic- “Bushmaster- it’s just for hunting”- could get laughs.

Possible musical angles: Bodycount? “Cop killer”? (can we change this to “kid” or “fireman” for niche marketing???)

What about St. Peter/Pearly gates thing- can we have him complaining about being so busy “like “goldarn Bushmaster!!”- any issues with church groups? Could be a humorous take. Maybe get Wilford Brimley? Is he still working?

11 Responses to “BUSHMASTER FOR XMAS”


  • Hey hey, what’s this assault rifle?

    I remember asking Santa for pictures!
    ~

  • I wonder if New York Ad Agency has anything to do with New York Law Firm.

  • I think they might be related.

    “You’ll shoot the whole town’s eyes out!”

  • “What about St. Peter/Pearly gates thing- can we have him complaining about being so busy like ‘goldarn Bushmaster!!’”

    Or maybe the Newtown victims in heaven, lamenting the politicization of their deaths by liberals. (cf.)

  • I am afraid to click that, Roy.

    Here’s a nice story you would appreciate from the Big Texas Honeybin Benjamin Moore Paint Dealer (maybe middle name Roy from Alabama?):

    Sign above the register: “89,900,989 million firearm owners didn’t kill anyone yesterday”

    I think this is a new meme- maybe the nuclear power industry can get in on this?

    n nuclear reactors did not melt down in the last two years”

    n robotic killing drones did not blow up any weddings yesterday”

    “5 tons of lead paint chips were not eaten by toddlers yesterday”

    This is a good one.

  • Oh yeah- Wellstone- I wonder when the current Pope ascends to the Prada boutique in the sky if anyone says anything about a reactionary nutjob talking about his reactionary policies upon his inevitably reactionary death. Maybe it is different when you where the Pope hat.

  • I think that sign might have to be a countdown clock.

  • 15 billion cigarettes didn’t kill anyone today.

    I am a bit shocked. I looked up how many cigarettes are sold per day and it really is 15 billion…

  • Having worked in a bar in which I was the only non-smoker that number seems low, fish.

    Bushmaster – Settle that argument.

    Bushmaster – Dinner WILL be ready when you get home.

    Bushmaster – Better than a tricked out truck.

    Bushmaster – Who needs proof when you have troof?

  • Not to contradict the genius but if you were the only non-smoker, then you weren’t really a non-smoker.

  • aif, all of my coworkers smoked, but they were not permitted to smoke inside, thanks to the LIBRUL NANNY STATE WTF OMG.

    At house parties after work, you are right, I might as well have been smoking.

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