Author Archive for Capt. Trollypants

What next, iPad?

Apple reaches their endumbening to the UK for a Special Edition of Scrabble, with proper nouns allowed. I presume the rabble could go to TOWN with the Welsh language edition. I’d like to put an Easy button on Steve Jobs face so I could punch it, but he’d probably want that and charge me 99 cents, booking 33 cents profit. Sly bastard.


How does this have anything to do with Apple? How does it have anything NOT to do with Apple is the better question. Apple is also responsible for the unlimited steps allowed on a fast break rule, and Thierry Henry handballs. Sorry, Irish.

Fixing the Internets

Brando hath tasted that which he hath wrought, and it be a bitter pill.

St0crastic Modelling


Burnz0es Indeed.

Emusevier- at it again

Finding new and important markets to serve.

I note that they are merely dilettantes in the publishing game. Elsevier had a patriotic gun show biz, but I bet pros like Emusevier are running suitcase nukes.

Let’s look at some titles. Don’t read that too quickly, filthbots.
Continue reading ‘Emusevier- at it again’


The true face of the Chuck Todd-Blue Girl Axis of Evil.



Liberal Elitism of the Mandarin Brahmin New Media Exclusive Cabal-BREAKING

My esteemed colleague Mickey Kaus was the first to break onto the scene with a stunning debut of Basque-Whackery- detailing the intricate and internecine workings of JournoList. Dangeral Professor exposed another group here. I am now here to share with you something even more contemptible. And equally horrific. This shadowy alternate internet is called “Facebook.” This exclusive club mirrors our public internet while providing an exclusive, secretive evironment for Scrabble, poking (some teenage sex thing) and probably tickle fights. This incredibly exclusive and selective club has almost 200 million members, and contrary to slanderous rumors, distortions and lies, not myself.

A source has revealed to me some goings on about this list. This source has risked their professional reputation for the sake of embarrassing some Facebook users. This source is a total bastard. I cannot confirm or deny whether this source is Jonathan Chait. On the advice of counsel I will say that this source is not Jonathan Chait.

Allow me so backstory.

Earlier in the week there appeared to be a popular uprising against Chuck Todd of NBC News.

Some comments included:

Kevin Baker:

So what do I do, Chuck? When we’re living on the streets, will that be enough? Or should we set ourselves on fire, too? Should I kill my cat and eat her? I don’t think I can sell my blood, because I take a couple of prescription medications. Perhaps I should sacrifice my prescription drug plan in exchange for being allowed to participate in this economic recovery! Whatever that means!


Chuck Todd’s comment was so out of touch and self-serving I thought John Aravosis wrote it for him.

But there was some serious pushback, as if it had been orchestrated in a secret lair, with a hidden purpose:


You know, that was a *really* stupid question he asked. I mean, really stupid.

I wouldn’t say he’s a dick, though. I’d say he’s a simpleton. A dope.

To which the responses were entirely clear:


No, BG, Chuck Todd is a dick.


No, BG, Chuck Todd is a dick.

I agree. There didn’t even need to be a post, just the title.

Again with the full court press, as if it had been planned IN ADVANCE!@!


I so do not think Chuck Todd is a dick.

Finally, crazy man free spirit Pinko Pinko:

If Chuck Todd isn’t a dick, then Plato knows of now way to philosophize about the ideal dick.

Total dickbag on double coupon day for free dicks in a dick lottery where the is one number and one ticket, which he is holding in his prehensile dick-hand.

Where could BG have so carefully orchestrated her instant and well-planned defence of Chuck Todd?

I really started to wonder when I saw her blog. Screen shot below in case she inevitably decides to scrub the “evidence”-


This was indeed shocking. Not nearly as shocking as what my source claimed to reveal to me about the inner workings of “Facebook”- I haven’t verified the veracity of this document, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.


Absolutely chilling. HNT? Kajillion babies?


I find the rabble have tainted my life. When I sing about the Baby J and I sing the words “holy infant so tender and mild” I think about Snag….


Happy Halloweenies, Cobagz!

I’m rocking some snack size Kit Kats and battle rapping the neighbor knobs.

[PP adds, I can’t keep looking at this- below the fold with you!!!!] Continue reading ‘Happy Halloweenies, Cobagz!’

Al Trautiwig is a CObag

guess what chunderface, if Alicia Sacramone had scored TWO MORE POINTS America’s gymnasts would still have taken silver. we shall commence bombing al trautwig in 5 minutes


real americans love AS. just shut yer cobholes


The Captain is with you. The Captain is love.

El Capitan de Trollypyjama Llamas has been rolling with the political biz mastering internet traditions for the McCain camp.



BOY does this Obama cupconecake look delicious. Look at it delicious white frosting. But it’s really a chocolate cupcake. Why does it act vanilla when it is chocolate? It knows it looks so good. It’s flashy. Look at its gimmicky nature. It’s just a brown cupcake presuming to be a delicious vanilla ice cream cone. Also, those sprinkles seem a little flamboyant, don’t they? I wonder if this cupcakecone hangs out with cheesecake? Slutty cheesecake.