Author Archive for Ombudspersonpantaloons

Doo Dah Parade, July 4th 2014

Your Doo Dah Parade Starter gets high with a little help from his friends (and Jameson).

This police car followed our Kasich protester the length of the parade route (in other words, was part of the act).

Best In Showing, imho.

P.S. Where have I seen the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile** and a bunch of cop cars before?

** cocktail weenie version

Cross-posted at Whiskey Fire and my place. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.

Festivus Animals and Motivational Poster

Err, Day AFTER Festivus Animals:

I’ve prepared this pic instructional poster due to popular confusion regarding the Red-bellied Woodpecker’s nomenclature. Sure, its red head is quite noticeable…but is it more so than that of the Red-headed Woodpecker? I’d call it the “Fancy Zebra Jacketed Woodpecker”, but the Golden-fronted Woodpecker has one, too. So here we are:

(Imagine this youtuber is embedded.)

Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions. Cross-posted here. And here.

Do Fish Wear T-shirts?

I linked to Matt Taibbi’s mock JP Morgan haiku contest at Jennifer’s, and she noted

Matt Taibbi: The entry by “Fish” I liked because of the clever Twitter-age five-syllable ending – this is like one of those actual Japanese haikus where a single sound symbol may count as two on:

Alas, feesh did not win one of the two t-shirts. But keep living the dream, feesh!

Cross-posted here. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.


Add New Post (insert title here) Happy Memorial Day, PEOPLE! (and pets)

Perhaps it is Iris?

Meow!  Would you like to pet me?

Please clean up after Pugsly and friends


It has come to our attention that the ombudsing on this weblog has crawled/shambled/stumbled to a halt, perhaps even with its pants down around its ankles.

Therefore, it is time to address reader complaints and concerns.

Hello, Reader Complaints and Concerns!

On the chance that there are any from those who have not already shan’t be backed, please list them in the comments.

All the best,

Furthermore, WordPress 3.1 is available! Please notify the site administrator.

Furtherfuthermore, James Franco

We are concerned. Very. Concerned.

Pinko, we are your friends...we can help.

Pinko, we are your friends...we can help.

So, we are done with the Wiener now?

No need to panic, ZRM

teh wiener of our discontent

Teh Wiener of Our Discontent.

Megor Samsa Update (am I even allowed to do this?????)

The Headlines Just Write Themselves

Erring of Grievances

It has come to our attention that the void created by the semi-retirement of the ombudspersonmoose has yet not been filled, in spite of two valiant attempts.

It falls upon the shoulders of this ombudspersonpantaloons to take up the burden.

It must be noted that when Pinko Punko initially broadcast the need for an interim ombudspersonpantaloons, he specifically mentioned a complaint:

In other news, sucks it. Take it to the ombuds, lady, that’s what it’s for.

A reasonable person/moose/bird/fish/pants might argue Adorable Girlfriend‘s point…are there not thousands of 3Bulls! blogposts? Q.E.D., and such as.

Furthermore, it must be noted that we are taking a strict constructionalist view of the terms comment(s) and reader(s). Is AG actually a reader of this blog? Should comments mean comments on this post, this blog, or even perhaps something your mom said after her sister and brother-in-law left the house?

After all, the complaint in question comes from a comment over at the Fish Pond.

However, it is not our job to question user complaints. Our job is to render them senseless, or the other way.

Post all your complaints about this blog, your life, or your in-laws below, and we will promptly solve them via sternly worded emails to the proprietors.

And if none of this floats your boat…

UPDATE I: Hellooo, Fish’s comment!

UPDATE 3.c: A certain zombie has written that his/her/its/damned creature’s car needs washing. While this might be considered a comment on the state of affairs at the ZRM household/cemetery/catacombs, or perhaps a request, we are considering the source.

It’s probably a complaint. As such, we are suggesting that ZRM take it up with the Ombudsglooob, as this entity is best positioned to provide the appropriate remedy.

UPDATE 8): It appears our suggestion with regards to ZRM and the Ombudsglooob has gone awry. Far be it for us to suggest that threatening the common taters is different from addressing their concerns.

But we feel that an ombudsperson/moose/bird/fish/pants ethics panel must be convened at this point. For the sake of the children.