Author Archive for The Uncanny Canadian

Friday poop shoot

So this is what poop shoot has come down to for me, as of Dec. 29, 2011.  Our little guy is doing nicely and the transition to parenthood has been everything it was advertised and much much more.  Does this mean that 3Bulls! is one step closer to becoming one of those blogs™?  It remains to be seen, but it certainly is starting to smell that way a little.


Happy Birthday to Pinko Punko from Pitchfork

Dear Mr. Punko,

Despite the years of abuse we at Pitchfork have suffered at the hands of yourself and Monsieur Canadian, we still retain a fondness for your blog and the good work done over the years.  It takes a truly half-assed blog to make us look like we know what we’re doing.  Also, thanks for the traffic.  As a token of our appreciation and in celebration of your birthday, we at the P-fork team have been conducting our own research projects to give back to the greater bullsian community.  Attached please find our most recent manuscript, published in our flagship Pitchfork Press journal, Cobag Cell, which we think you will find tremendously interesting.  Although we still hate you very much, we want you to know how much better we are than you.

Sincerely yours,

The staff at Pitchfork


Modern Family Gay Icon Pet Contest

The show already got us started:

  • Shel Turtlestein
  • Fliesaminnelli
  • Zsa Zsa Gaboa

Here are my entries:

Barbarangutan Streisand
Gerbil Garland
Lance Bassett Hound
Tabby Fae Bakker
Kylie Minnow

The triumphant but still half-assed return of Friday Poop Shoot

As most of you don’t care, I used to write an almost weekly Poop Shoot around Friday. It was pretty meh, but could be fun at times, and I liked the buzz of self-righteousness I could get describing music that many of you haven’t heard. Then Brando would write his own Friday Random 11, and it would be better than my Poop Shoots in every respect. Brando is simply a better writer, funnier, and more interesting than I am. But with news that Brando is hanging up the Random 11 after his elegiac opus describing the 22 songs that are most significant to him, I feel that there is a place for the Poop Shoot once again. At minimum, I can keep Billy Pilgrim company and work towards fulfilling my MBO (minimal blogging obligation). If possible, I’ll try to link to sources for the songs, but am not counting on finding many:

1) The Walkmen – Lost in Boston: Well isn’t that title appropriate. I think it’s impossible to live in Boston without getting or feeling lost. This album is from A Hundred Miles Off, which was kind of a letdown for the most part. The song is all singing/strained screaming that is too high to feel comfortable and loud guitar. I guess it is just kind of inelegant. The lyrics make no sense to me, but that’s typical. 6/10

2) Supertramp – Rudy: I’m so glad this song is actually on my iPod. Although Blue Girl might be the only person honest enough to back me up on the awesomeness and non-lameness of Supertramp, I am not ashamed to expouse my love. Rudy is a musically complex song, developing in several movements (at least four). It has all the trademark piano chords, some wanky proggy exposition, and a very moving and relatable main character. We’ve all been on that train to nowhere. At over seven minutes, this song is perfection. 10/10

3) The Innocence Mission – Over The Rainbow: I can’t remember why I bought their CD of lullabie covers, but I’m glad I have it. It is impossible to listen to any version of this song without feeling a little misty and nostalgic. What strikes me most about this cover is how strong the Scottish accent is, and how the slow and stripped-down rendition beautifully captures all the spirit of the song. The singing is just exquisite and delicate. 8/10

Continue reading ‘The triumphant but still half-assed return of Friday Poop Shoot’

Dear siRNA-based drug companies ….. April Fool’s!!!!!!!

Perhaps you should do some controls before you start clinical trials next time, cobags!

Here’s the scoop. There’s a terrible ocular disease called blinding choroidal neovascularization (CNV), which occurs during age-related macular degeneration. What happens is new blood vessels infiltrate into the retina, causing degeneration and blindness. The blood vessel growth is thought to be from angiogenesis, and some bright people got the idea that if you could inactivate some of the important genes that cause angiogenesis, you might be able to reverse the disease.

What these bright people did was utilize small interfering RNA molecules (siRNA) against two different angiogenic factors, VEGFA or its receptor VEGFR1, to hopefully block angiogenesis and reverse the disease. They did pre-clincial experiments in mice, where they directly injected these small double-stranded RNAs right into the eye, and lo and behold, got fantastic results. They had no idea how cells were supposed to be taking up these siRNAs, they had no idea exactly how the siRNAs were exerting a physiological response, and they certainly had no idea how specific the response was. All they cared about was that it worked. After all, siRNA is magic and will cure all diseases. They also didn’t bother to do the right controls to see what happens if you put in an siRNA targeting a different molecule, or even nothing at all.

Continue reading ‘Dear siRNA-based drug companies ….. April Fool’s!!!!!!!’

Why my lab suxxez, told Bossy style

Part 1 of an occasional series, in three pictures:







Hungry for Chocolate Jesus


Chocolate Jesus is finally coming back and I couldn’t be hungrier!

As some of you may know, last March an exhibit titled “My Sweet Lord” in New York City, displaying an anatomically-conceivable sculpture of Jesus carved in chocolate, was cancelled due to a campaign of hate and indigestion from angry Catholics. OK, Easter might not have been the best time for the show, but c’mon cookie Jesus, how is this possibly offensive? Are we going to be bullied our whole lives by the anti-cacaoites, whose fascist vanilliophilic paradigms threaten all that is creamy and bittersweet?

Well, good news! As reported here, the exhibit is back on. It will be displayed in New York City in late October and will be joined by less edible and less nudie sculptures of other saints. I await the exhibit with great salivation anticipation. As a tribute to Chocolate Jesus, I offer the following video:

Happy Birthday to Adorable Girlfriend

We interrupt the usual chunderhoisery, to announce that today, September the 11th, is the birthday of long-time 3 Bulls! provocateur Adorable Girlfriend. She has a lovely alphabetic post at Republic of Puppies detailing many of the amusing travails we had in a wondrous and New Jerseylicious birthday weekend, so head over there and give her some birthday comment love. Happy birthday, sweetheart!!!

Oh Noes, we’ve been Simpsonized™!!!!

Three Bulls! ran into an unfortunate encounter with this website.
I don’t know how I ended up at the Kwik-e-mart, but that’s a good price on expired møø$e.

They got Pinko Punko at his workplace. I didn’t know they let døgs in the lab.


Who’s next to be Simpsonized? Gregor? Yosef? Plover? When will the madness stop?

PP UPDATE!!! The generator was very tetrapodistic, sadly. We have a slight change:


Gregor Adds!!! We also have a slight change:
Pinko PunkoTrackies!!!!

UC SUPER UPDATE:  Even AG can’t escape the Simpsonzer112!!!111


The First Rule of Harry Potter Club is There Are Ten Rules in Harry Potter Club

PP adds: this cover is the UK “adult” version cover. You have been warned not to “go there.” For your Harry Potter slashfic pervy desires, please go here. Looks kind of like a James Clavell novel. I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover, but the UK pubs think that tube riders will judge you by your book’s cover. Doesn’t it seem odd that the book they do this with is the most popular book of the last 10 years, the one book where everyone in the world knows the contents?

The second rule of Harry Potter Club is that there are only five rules in Harry Potter Club

The third rule of Harry Potter Club is that once the new book comes out, and everyone reads it at Ferrari speed, please don’t give anything away to those of us that will take several days weeks until we finish it. If you must, please tag it with spoiler warnings. Pinko Punko is already scared that the Brits will ruin everything for him before the witching hour even hits the West Coast. I am going to be severely limiting my internet reading to make sure the surprise of Harry and Ron the two characters that die isn’t ruined. [Dear readers, UC took a year to start the last one. He should also be worried about the 7th movie spoiling the 7th book-PP]. Maybe we will even have a thread for people that have finished reading the book, so they can hang with all the other cool kids that read quickly [this thread will exist simultaneously with our review of the “Bratz” movie, i.e. when UC gets around to either reading the book or seeing the movie “Bratz”-PP] .

The fourth rule rule of Harry Potter club is that Snape is, and at Hogwarts has always been, good. Dumbledore’s pleading with him was not to spare his life, but to fulfill what he had to do to win favour with the evil lord and allow Harry sufficient powers as to perform the unforgivable curses.
The fifth rule of Harry Potter club is that Snape is, and has always been evil and a Death Eater.

The sixth rule of Harry Potter club is that the number of rules of Harry Potter club is not a constant.

PP ADDS- beware of small, fast dudes who look shifty. These are the sh*theads who have it out for you. I was considering posting a similar post, but then I thought: “Wait, such a post would cause Three Bulls! to be targeted by griefer chunderwazzes who will spill the beans in our comments.” Let me just say that I’m not the one that cares. This kitten stolen from the Onion is the one that cares.


Also, this kitten’s life will be extinguished and my birfday ROOIND if anybody posts anything relating to anything to I don’t know what. Seriously, I have been turned into a nervous wreck. Also, I accidentally had some fart noodles for dinner and I think I might die before Friday anyway.

The seventh rule of Harry Potter club is that you don’t have to actually finish any of the