Archive for the '_ _ Shenanigans' Category

Unrelated

Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch throws down- e me at 3bulls/gmail. If you have any takes on any of the songs, send them along and we will include- this will allow some picking and choosing while myself and maybe my cohorts slog through the entire thing.

Is UC in this year? Seitz is gonna join in. I work on a list and we pass it back and forth, or you can just e-mail me your feelings on this business and I will add.

Also, I project that battle rap gonna street this week. Devastating.

Big Taxonomy strikes again

In a move possibly revealing their secret relationship with the Canadian Curling Association, the American Ornithological Union — a front organization if I ever saw one — is autocratically reordering the furniture of the universe. Citing “genetic” “information” from “scientists”, they have decided that snowy plovers are a distinct species, not a sub-species of Kentish plovers as previously thought, and thus must be known as Charadrius nivosus rather than Charadrius alexandrinus nivosus. This, as you may guess, causes distress, hangnails, gastroenteritis, and bureaucracy.

I would no doubt regard being declared a separate “species” as some kind of blatant eugenics program if the other Kentish plovers didn’t horde all the scones for themselves. I would also no doubt inform the AOU that I shan’t be back, if I’d ever been there. But, of course, “there” is nothing but an empty lot with emus nesting in it, as is clearly seen in the satellite photo below. Don’t be surprised if the next time they rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic, it is to put you in one of them.

Eemuuus innn spaaaaaaace!!!

Hateroll Amnesty

Please, in comments discuss the people you see/hear on the internet that you now realize sometimes get your last nerve’s goat. I don’t want to call anyone anywhere out/about anything. I have the lowest of the least energy to concern myself with the wrongness of some certain people who seem to exist to Be Wrong on the Internet, and in fact opinioneering up Mt. Cobag is their actual form of support, again=FLAMES/FACE.

Get it off your chestesses, you know I love you all bestesses. Please feel free to comment anonymously so your deeply hurtful honesty is secluded into backstabville.

Please, feel free to poor your sweet vitriol upon us, we don’t mind, should you wish to spew so.

Bad Religion

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7Hb4bxF12E]

ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT

THREE BULLS HAS CLASSIFIED ZOMBIE COMMENTS AS SPAM.

….well, I guess that’s kind of hard to argue with.

BUT STILL.

AND HIM AN OFFICIAL ZOMBUDSPANTS. C.O.B.A. SHALL HEAR OF THIS. AND POSSIBLY THE C.C.A. CERTAINLY THE AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF LEFT-HANDED LUTE POLISHERS!

HEADS. SHALL. ROLL.

 

Really.  He’s quite upset.

Pretend

I’m Matthew Yglesias. I’ve said something terrible. Not difficult. BUT, since my MY commenting system is annoying, you can’t change your handle for hilarious ripostes. You can use this thread. I will start.

Unfortunately

I am going to have to Chunky Megan the Urban Dictionary.

Imagine if you will, I construct a persona based on emotionally stunted casual elitist clueless narcissism. I use this persona to submit regular writings on the internet. These writings are highly probably to enrage due to their tossed off and obtuse nature. Conveniently, I will allow you to comment on my being wrong or lacking in experience or understanding of what I discuss. These comments will have no bearing on whether I continue to say dipshit type things. In fact, I will increase the frequency of my emanations. It is something like that combined with this:

Chunky Megan
A sexual proclivity so disgusting, so degenerate, yet also so pedestrian and pathetically sad, that it requires a yet to be invented multidimensional sexual string theory to describe it in any detail. It is beyond actual description or comprehension. It is more easily understood using analogies.

The act of claiming to be a liberal blogger while actually being a privileged know-nothing elitist turd is to be a practitioner of the act of Chunky Megan on the internet.

Imagining them procreating is to begin to conceive of the act of a Chunky Megan.

Matthew Yglesias is such a Chunky Megan.

When I read Matthew Yglesias’ blog, I get the feeling I’m being subjected to a Chunky Megan.
by [redacted] on Sep 12, 2010

tags: neo-liberal cobagging, the sexual practice of a cobag, glibertarian, libertarian, wanker

Perhaps [redacted] wasn’t accurate enough for this essential truism to officially be entered into the greater lexicon. Sigh.

Announcepants

I know nobody would believe me today if I made the joke that we were getting picked up to occasionally write for Slate or perhaps bring the gang over to FDL and be hosted there (what a GREAT match that would be). So I am sorry to pick today as the day for announcepantsing something many of you will find hard to believe. If things go well in negotiations today, we will have a new cob logger here, one whose initials you are all familiar with. No, not Chuckles, he didn’t make the cut, although we appreciated his interest.

_ _.

All caps, people, all caps. I didn’t really believe it myself, but we looked at our diminished ability to provide content so it was an unforeseen match. Sure, we might come to internet blows once in awhile, but the readers like to see sparks, so that is what we will provide.

Enjoy the ride, chundermuffins~


UPDATE

I should have written “Enjoy the rain, chundermuffins.” Anyhow, everything fell through. A detente was not reached with the party of note. The troubled water was too big to bridge. We shall not be expanding our community. I’m so sorry to disappoint everyone.