Archive for the 'Animal Crackers' Category

Sometimes it is time

Little guy had been in a slow, slow, slow decline, but he started to waste and we felt it was time. We didn’t want to see him go over the cliff. He spent a lot of time sleeping in the last year, and I had started to take some pics of him in his little doggie dreams. Even before he was showing his years, he liked to sleep with his head at some odd angles, but this seemed to increase. We’d see him and I’d go “Little guy, you missed your bed!” It is a little sad that the last year of this terrible blog has been losing Smokedog (1 year ago tomorrow), a few half-hearted Pitchfork posts, and the current hole in my heart, losing P-dog (three weeks ago tomorrow). I miss our “boys” and I miss our community. I feel like they were our mascots. I hope we all make it through our holidays and remember to share our jokes, happy events, and our proud moments along with our sad and difficult ones.

BEGIN UPDATE I had to add GC’s favorite pic of the little guy- taken at Half Moon Bay in CA.














When we were at the vet, they were so kind. There were some very nice, well-meant things said- especially thinking about P-man running free, and having all his legs back. That is not something I believe, but the thoughts were sweet and kind. I was reminded of this scene from the underrated and wonderful Babe: Pig in the City. I don’t want to spoil the film for anyone (it is quite dark for a children’s film), but it captures what we would like to imagine.

My Heart is Broken

I know it will get patched up, but I feel so sad. The thing about Facesmash is that it is such a channel changer. There will be one post on your wall that is SO SAD and then another post on your wall that is YAY COOKIES. These are easily coincident emotions because Facesmash is just sort of a psychological test of rapid reactions. I think it is hard on these things to just watch the world go by when I just want to sleep for a few days and not go through the motions of HI HOW ARE YOU- FINE BUT THAT IS LIE- NOT GOOD MY DOG DIED. And maybe I will be back to normal in a few days but that sucks too because how can my heart heal that quickly?


Watching it again almost made me smile, but no one should smile at copyright violation. Smokey Dog was a wonderful little guy.

Festivus Animals and Motivational Poster

Err, Day AFTER Festivus Animals:

I’ve prepared this pic instructional poster due to popular confusion regarding the Red-bellied Woodpecker’s nomenclature. Sure, its red head is quite noticeable…but is it more so than that of the Red-headed Woodpecker? I’d call it the “Fancy Zebra Jacketed Woodpecker”, but the Golden-fronted Woodpecker has one, too. So here we are:

(Imagine this youtuber is embedded.)

Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions. Cross-posted here. And here.

Bad Bad Bad

The Goob is in a picky phase. Does not try new things, except any flavor chip on the planet. [HEART]

GC just gave her some Pop Rocks. And she popped them right in.

They are coming to take her away from us as we speak, I surmise.

Then GC gave some to Skokedog and Pugsley. WHAT IN THE WORLD. Maybe CFS will crash into ASPCA during their race to our humble home.

Sometimes the Local Version of the National Show

is more depressing because of the utter banality. Big Texas Cloverhill Honeybun’s own Sarah Palin.

Deets if you don’t want to read in the weeds (although I think you should):

Exhibit A:

When asked by The Eagle about her husband’s role, **** ******** said she couldn’t comment because the reporter had discussed it with other members of the council. She said that speaking to the entire council separately about a single issue is illegal.

“Technically that is a walking quorum,” she said.

White, the First Amendment lawyer, said that a walking quorum is when council members speak separately about how they plan to vote on an issue so that they don’t have to discuss it publicly at an open meeting. He said that talking to a newspaper reporter is allowed and part of the “American system.”

“That is just crazy,” he said, of **** ********’s explanation.

Yes, I am afraid of the Google search by these chumps and the Cronon treatment.

Your antidote is below. While it may make you cry, it will be because you have a heart.

Tsunami Dog Rescued At Sea [BBC Video]

Hair Helmet Machinations

plus the Goob (no relation). Hi Pugsley!

The Lepidopterans of the Big Texas

They are only around when the camera is not. However, it is now the goal to document any and all if possible.

Not pictured but definitely about, the usual Monarch, the pleasant Gulf Frittilary, what I believe is either or both a crescentspot and/or a copper. We have this one particular thing they love (web suggests it could be a Bordered Patch based on the plant), but GC ripped it all out, but since it is pernicious, it came back, so in the Spring I shall be ready to document next years crop. I saw a Question Mark the other day, but if I pause to think about it, it could have been a Comma? It didn’t want to open its wings and I had no camera.

Click for a closer look!

I give you the Red Admiral (commie!)

So shy with the wings

The Pipevine Swallowtail (not to be confused with the Spicebush Swallowtail)

GC snagged this one, and planted the flowers to begin with

Finally, the “Common” Buckeye. Thunder has some beauts of this one, but I’d never seen one until Cloverhill.

This one wanted to pose all sorts of ways

This one wanted to pose all sorts of ways

Modern Family Gay Icon Pet Contest

The show already got us started:

  • Shel Turtlestein
  • Fliesaminnelli
  • Zsa Zsa Gaboa

Here are my entries:

Barbarangutan Streisand
Gerbil Garland
Lance Bassett Hound
Tabby Fae Bakker
Kylie Minnow


For our second installment of Ombudsman Heritage Week, we turn to nature, and the ombudsmanly patterns inscribed thereon. (For the remainder of this post, we will assume a position of Intelligent Design.  ID is the official position of COBA, as an impartial compromise between Young Earth Creationism and evolution.)

Many organisms in nature reflect common intentions of the (neutrally unspecified) Designer in wide-spread patterns with apparently random variations that clearly therefore display the direct hand of an intelligence at work.  An intelligence whose subtlety is an inspiration to ombudsmen everywhere.  One of the greatest places in the natural world to see ombudsmanly behaviour is in the insect world.  In fact, it’s even been said that ombudsmanry is a pattern that imitates various aquatic insects, except for those considered “Welsh”.  (“Welsh” insects are decidedly non-neutral—Designer humour?)

One trait that skilled ombudsmen are known for is that of patience.  And what greater representative in nature is that of the 17-year cicada? It lies deep underground, waiting its turn for a frenzy of activity, just as the ideal ombudsman waits until it is appropriate to act in defense of the impartiality of a publication!

And what of the honeybee and their waggle dances? It turns out that every bee has been designed with an ombudsmanly trait—to limit the communication of erroneous information.  Worker honeybees do this with wiggling of their behinds.  Ombudsmen do it with their pens and keyboards.  The similarities are striking!

Just as ombudsmanly traits have been inscribed in nature, surely they have been inscribed in the being of ombudsmen throughout history.  An accident?  Surely not.

TOMORROW: Ombudsmen in Renaissance art.

Junk food

There has been a recent plea shouted into the dark vacuum of the internet:

Also, what can the ombudscommittee do about this travesty appearing in my inbox

Junk Foods That Could Save Your Life
August 7, 2009

From Cheez Whiz to blue M&M’s, here are five dietary don’ts with surprising health virtues. More…

Fortunately for Kathleen, wagons of ombud (this is not what the MoH thinks it is) can hear just fine in a vacuum.

Kathleen is correct, immediate action is needed. I, Ombudwagon, will take this important responsibility onto myself. Much like the several months I spent deeply researching issues regarding esoteric pornography other stuff, I will now throw myself into dealing with the travesty that has assaulted Kathleen from this e-missive. I believe the action items for dealing with the aforementioned problem are:

1) Transfer the entire abomination to one Pinko Punko using a preferred method of e-transfer.

2) Someone temporarily un-fire one Pinko Punko until such time as he can post the e-transferred e-missive in its e-ntirety into Delish or Disgust. Re-termination (or even re-animation if the timing is good) can be immediately enacted upon completion of his duties.

3) Tapping into the power of the internets, we can then  “crowdsource” the validity of the purported health claims for the various “junk foods.” Volunteers will extreme test each foodstuff for its potential health benefits and report back results to the central junk food bureau of standards and measures.

N.B.  Experimentation is encouraged in maximizing potential benefits through food synergies. E.g. Would Cheez Whiz Blue M&M pie confer additive or synergistic benefits to the eater?

4) Once the data has been carefully vetted and all important conclusions have been made, we will then proceed to ignore the report because who actually reads D or D anyway? Well at least it isn’t Celebrity Dream Cameo…