Archive for the '*BOOP*' Category

I heard Shoelimpy™ was voting Trump


Cashewy Nutlog

Pandora the radio played a song that was sort of up the ol’ alley. Nothing earth-shatteringly amazing, but you know, pleasant to listen to.

Then I go read the Nick Sylvester P-fork review from 2005 and I feel so embarrassed for him. Like someone just discovered the power of the internet to just poop on the world. Just incredibly mean-spirited, trying so hard, arbitrary, and sad.

UPDATE- I forgot how to link to the trying too hard. END UPDATE

Unrelated, Pandora also served up this sweet gem that I so needed. Nick Sly can eat some BAD TRISCUITS

Oh my glob

I need to leave this here so I can come back to it. If 3B were to hire an assistant this would be it. This is like Sunset Boulevard/Waiting for Guffman of Craigslist ads!!!!!!!


I am still really in shock. I want to STEAL this advertisement and PRODUCE it as a show on BROADWAY. I want to perform this as a one person cabaret show. I want to take this ad to THE INTERNET. And put it on YOUTUBE. I will make amazing artistic choices and I will bathe myself in your adulation!

Unreleased Battleraps

I just need some beats.

Can Has Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch?

I think the last time I even started it was 2012. Did I touch last years? I don’t know. I need UC for it to be fun. I have listened to almost no music this year, but I still have some good songs. Maybe this week POSTING WILL RESUME. I am happy that UC and I are on record in 2007 just completely crapping all over R. Kelly for being ultra disgusting.

Doo Dah Parade, July 4th 2014

Your Doo Dah Parade Starter gets high with a little help from his friends (and Jameson).

This police car followed our Kasich protester the length of the parade route (in other words, was part of the act).

Best In Showing, imho.

P.S. Where have I seen the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile** and a bunch of cop cars before?

** cocktail weenie version

Cross-posted at Whiskey Fire and my place. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.

A decade of performance art

Or as Edroso would say, performance faaaaaaaaart.

In another 10 years, when Loadberg Doughpants is writing Op-Eds for the LA Times Channel, which by that time might be restricted to San Fernando Valley gas pump monitors, will he even be able to enunciate single syllable words? I can’t even handle what it is now, let alone knowing that he’ll still be going then.

Anyhow, I’ve decided that Blue Girl’s ringtone should probably be Gerry Rafferty “Baker Street” because if it were Phil, it would just be TOO emotional. I have yet to decide fish’s punishment. I think “What a Fool Believes” by Michael McDonald should be sufficient.

I Lost This Blog In a Poker Game

The stakes were pretty low, but I got it back.

I think about everyone all the time and also sharing my important opinions with the world on various hot topics, but I am laid low so I slink off and do nothing. Sad example:

I hear a song on the radio and I think “HA! That is K-unit’s RINGTONE!” meaning the ring tone on my phone for when Kathleen calls, which she doesn’t and it wouldn’t matter because it isn’t even on the damn thing. But I still know what the ring tone would be for all of you former members of our happy club.

Brando and ZRM can fight over Rush, but obvs the former would get a Maiden or Priest song and the latter, well it depends. Actually I will take proposals from either and then veto and then accept the proposal pretending that I was the proposer.

Anywho, just a little taste:




plover would probably be some Yes whitelabel unreleased that I would have to transcribe from space rays.

Mandos- I was thinking something avant garde.

If MattY ever called his ring would be some battle rap demolishing him completely, and then the voicemail message would be “hey, I couldn’t pick up because ARGLE BARGLE”

thunderpants- maybe John Denver BUT JUST AS A PLACE HOLDER

Do Fish Wear T-shirts?

I linked to Matt Taibbi’s mock JP Morgan haiku contest at Jennifer’s, and she noted

Matt Taibbi: The entry by “Fish” I liked because of the clever Twitter-age five-syllable ending – this is like one of those actual Japanese haikus where a single sound symbol may count as two on:

Alas, feesh did not win one of the two t-shirts. But keep living the dream, feesh!

Cross-posted here. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.



Lo, did the Lord Cookie Jesus, filled with wrathful filling, look upon the Cloverhill Big Texas Honey Bun, and lo did the Lord thinketh that the pride of Cloverhill, the hubris of its bigness, the chemical nature of its Honey, the plastic of its Bun, and the Lord did smiteth out and smack the Cloverhill down. Lighting was hurled, and fires did it starteth, and rain did it pour, and trees did it toss about with willy nilly abandon.

25 minutes of insanity around 3 am Sunday morning took the form of sideways 3 inch and hour rainfall and 65 mph winds and some hail thrown in and then woke up to the emerging buzz of dozens of chainsaws removing limbs and entire trees from the sides of houses, and then read in the paper it was mostly just our neighborhood. Shape of the neighborhood or our house or happenstance saved us from the worst, but 70 foot oak just lying on a house like it was taking a nap, having uprooted and tipped over just down the block, was quite a sight. Fences halfway into the street. Large gravel rolled 50 yards down the street. Very impressive, Cookie Jesus!