Archive for the 'Doughpants' Category

For Crimes Against Humanity

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Material Left on the Table AGAIN

This time, Atrios slams the ball off the back of the rim.

Allow us to rephrase:


Get back, Jo-Jo!
It’s not Loretta.
Get hack to where you once belonged.


Did anyone e-mail Jonah about the beef-a-roni that he’s currently ducking? I can’t do it myself, and frankly I think he’s being massively coy here:

I know there were other blog discussions of the book, pro and con. I’ll post those (or at least some of those, I have no obligation to call attention to unadulterated asininity) when I dig ’em out. Also I’ve gotten a pile of interesting email queries I’m going to try to deal with in the next day or so. I know I told some readers that I’d deal with their questions and still haven’t. I promise it wasn’t because I was ducking anything, it’s just very hard to keep track of all this stuff while staying on top of everything else.

I LOVE HIM for this blatant shoutout to us. A niggling point in that I feel we’ve been highly adulterated, and really only half-assinine, but the time for games IS OVER. Light it up, J. Hit us with your best shot.

The World of Unbelievable BS

Is never surprising. Jonah Goldberg has a right to be mad at Jon CHUNDERWAD Stewart of the Daily Show. The creative editing most likely left Jonah Goldberg’s long awaited response to the 3B attack rap that he has been ducking ALL WEEK on the cutting room floor. Does Jon Stewart think that America does not want to know? Or perhaps the two were in cahoots to allow Jonah to save face with some rehearsed skirmishy shenanigans. If Jonah would kindly come forward and address the matter at hand, America could sleep more soundly. LIBERAL FASCISM strikes again in the odious form of Jon Stewart and time itself.

In the Fine Tradition

Of all our most assed posts, only the half-assed get any sort of traction in the underground hip-hop wars.

I realize about a million of you probably e-mailed Jonah with illegal bootleg copies of the attack rap, but it is possible everyone didn’t thinking that everyone else did.

I’d also like to highlight some of the deeply unserious claims Jonah bandies about regarding the supposed lack of critical beatdowns he’s received.

Serious Critiques?

From a reader:

I know you are incredibly busy, but I’m curious if anyone has written anything challenging your basic premise in the book that you found somewhat credible and worth reading for a different point of view. Or are most of the comments just the written equivalent of mouth foam and drool?

So far, nope. I mean Siegel and Oshinsky aren’t droolers by any stretch. But neither offered a sustained and serious critique. Pretty much all the leftwing blog stuff I’ve seen is too vile to pick through the trash in search of a good argument. Some conservative friends have some thoughtful and constructive critiques (Yuval Levin’s going to write some of them up to get a conversation going). I would like to see such a critique, but the leftwingers don’t seem interested in providing it, invested as they are in the character-assassination gambit.

We’re serious as a heart attack, yo!

Also, tomorrow we trot out some unreleased white labels targeting the bipartisan muppet center, and maybe later in the week, some routine chest thumpery.

Three Bulls! Mixtape Diss Tape

Volume one of Ultradork records presents the ultimate Three Bulls Mixtape Diss Tape. 0.95 ass.

Shoutouts include:

Kathleen, Marc Hogan, Ace of Spades, Chuckles, Pop Ren, Sadly, No!, K. Lo, Lucianne Goldberg, and a bunch of others. Oh yeah, this one is dedicated to the week one sales of Liberal Fascism.

Track One is for Jonah G!

Loud and proud, people!!!!!!!!

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More Stem Cells for Jonah’s Brain Pwease.

So sectarian, heavily armed Iraq is supposed to kumbaya it up, but BELGIUM is a hilarious rejoinder to forced peanut butter and jelly sammich-style countries? What next, laughing at Reese’s impending bankruptcy following your whisper campaign to chocolate while backstabbingly urging PB to secede? Nice one, Sno-Ball shorts.

Gregg Easterbrook Picks a Winner


Michael Vick! Our resident multiple threat ultra genius makes run-of-the-mill cobags look like successful Poincare conjecturists with statements like this:
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Three Bulls! Scavenger Hunt Disgusting Contest!

Here are the rules: pick a national food/restaurant chain. First person to pick a chain that submits it in comments gets to find the unhealthiest, most disgusting anti-nutritional meal at that restaurant (one appetizer, entree w/ advertised sides, dessert, drink). Most disgusting wins! While I suspect there will be a run on Applebees, we’re taking Ruby Tuesday with the first pick. EVERYBODY needs to participate. Trust me, you will shock the crap out of yourselves, although I suspect Fulsome will merely get hungry.

The only person that will actually eat this stuff besides me, will be Chuckles or Fulsome. On a triple dog dare. The goal is to find the most atrocious example of corporate food scumbags trying to make sweet love to the heart disease lobby. Too bad Cheesecake Factory doesn’t put their nutritional info online. I woulda picked them in a delicious and deadly non-heartbeat.

Beyond Chunderdome

Do your civic duty tomorrow. Make the cobags enter, eat it, leave.


Continue reading ‘Beyond Chunderdome’